In Defense of the Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom

[Pollyanna]

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...577800488.html

Thought this is a good counter to the "Why Chinese mothers are superior" article. I'm not sure if someone else posted this already.

One thought, is one method more likely to create leaders?

[SuzySunshine]

I don't know which method is more likely to create leaders but I have to agree with a lot more of this article then the original one.

[houseelf]

I love that people are talking and therefore THINKING about some of the actions they are taking regardless of the route. Many types of parenting yield great results, but purposeful parenting is always the best, IMHO. There are a lot of Homer Simpsons out there!

As long as everyone is coming clean, I allowed the eleven year old to quit trumpet lessons because it was hell nagging him to practice, transporting him to a school in another district every week, waiting in a dirty school hallway for 30 minutes with a toddler and 6 year old while he painfully belted out basic tunes during lessons. I told him that I would permit him to stop lessons if he promised to passionately devote time to cultivating other hobbies and his schoolwork and if he promised to listen to his heart about what he wanted to do with his life. Clearly, he doesn't envision himself as a musician and I'm fine with that.

I have to add that this essayist Ayelet Waldman is notorious for writing provocative parenting pieces to sell books so her sardonic critique of Ms. Chua is deeply ironic. (Remember the "I love my husband more than my kids" bruhaha a few years back---that is her.) Her reads are interesting but she is a bit over the top in her own right. That is what sells.

I think I'm going to make money after all my kids in school by engaging in equally dramatic titles: The Champagne and Orgasms lifestyle: a tell all memoir of a surgeon's wife.

[Sheherezade]

I liked David Brooks critique as well in the NYT. The gist of it was that the social training acquired through playdates and participating in the musical and *ahem* failure with consequences is more important to success in today's world than might be understood.

I just finished watching Freakonomics. Does anyone remember what they siad about parenting techniques? That it's all a crap shoot? I thought it was really telling. They said the most clear indicators of how your kids are going to turn out are all things that happen BEFORE you ever have kids. Basically, it is the type of person you are and what you value - not the methods you employ - that yield particular results. I think there is wisdom in that.

[peggyfromwastate]

There are a lot of Homer Simpsons out there!

The Champagne and Orgasms lifestyle: a tell all memoir of a surgeon's wife.

both of these could be good starts to books!

I love that-- Homer Simpson parenting style! Genius!

[SoonerTexan]

I just finished watching Freakonomics. Does anyone remember what they siad about parenting techniques? That it's all a crap shoot? I thought it was really telling. They said the most clear indicators of how your kids are going to turn out are all things that happen BEFORE you ever have kids. Basically, it is the type of person you are and what you value - not the methods you employ - that yield particular results. I think there is wisdom in that.

Do as I say, not as I do?

[Sheherezade]

Huh? I must have missed something.

[scarlett09]

I love that-- Homer Simpson parenting style! Genius!

:hijack:

His parenting style on last night's episode was great. He modeled his parenting style off of reruns of an 80s sitcom that was a cross between Full House/Cosby Show/Growing Pains/etc. He was wearing a Bill Cosby-esque sweater and spouting advice to Bart from a book about the show. It was a good episode.

:end hijack:

[SoonerTexan]

Do as I say, not as I do?

Whoops...I meant that sometimes it seems like parents employ a "Do as I say, not as I do" type approach, but kids really pick up on what you do.

[spotty_dog]

Whoops...I meant that sometimes it seems like parents employ a "Do as I say, not as I do" type approach, but kids really pick up on what you do.

I think this is actually key! You can stand over your child cracking the whip so they practice their reading, but unless they see you reading for pleasure, it's not going to stick. You can tell them you love them on a regular basis, but if you scream at them for an inadequately constructed birthday card, they are not going to believe in their heart of hearts that they are loved. Actions speak SO much louder than words, and children are born mimics. We're primates, after all!

Anyway, I heard the beginning of an interview of Amy Chua on KUOW last week, where she said she "Absolutely does NOT belive that Chinese mothers are superior, in fact it says the opposite right there on the cover of the book". She says, "It's a memoir, not a parenting book." I know that MissCrabbette posted an article or blog post from her to this effect, but yeah. I guess I just think that forceful rebuttals to that essay that presume to be rebuttals against Ms. Chua herself are pretty clearly just trying to ride the coattails of the internets uproar.

[Gwendolyn]

Alison! I've been dying to talk to someone who heard that interview. I wish you would have heard all of it. The longer the interview the more disingenuous she sounded. She continued to ride both sides. "No that's not what I meant." and then "I believe western parenting is lazy." It left me wanting the real author to please stand up.

What ever her intent I am really enjoying the segment of discussion that is thoughtful and earnest inquiry about best practice for parenting...if there is such a thing