Gender Identity in a Ten-Year-Old

[PrincessFiona]

I had no idea that most cross-dressers are heterosexual men, btw. Since they aren't gay, does anyone know if they also feel they werebirn in the wrong body or what the reason might be? Loaded question. I dint know anyone who is a cross-dresser, so I have no frame of reference. I do have gay friends ...


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[diggitydot]

While I see where you're coming from, Kris, I'm don't think comparing someone with an autism spectrum disorder to LGBT peeps is equivalent.

I had no idea that most cross-dressers are heterosexual men, btw. Since they aren't gay, does anyone know if they also feel they werebirn in the wrong body or what the reason might be? Loaded question. I dint know anyone who is a cross-dresser, so I have no frame of reference. I do have gay friends ...


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Have you ever watched any of Eddie Izzard's stand up? He's a cross-dresser but straight and he talks about it quite openly (and humorously). He's a riot.

[DCJenn]

No, they typically very much enjoy being a guy wearing women's clothing.

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

I think we can draw some comparisons. Both are neurological issues that affect how a person feels about themselves. Neither are a person's choice. There are some valid parallels. . Agree to disagree though ...


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[PrincessFiona]

Interesting. I'll have to check NetFlix! There are always topics posted here that make me think. You all are so interesting and articulate.

Kris

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[diggitydot]

We could draw parallels between spina bifida and autism, too. That doesn't make them equivalent.

I get where you're coming from, but I just disagree.

[alison]

There was this guy named Michael (who went by "Michelle") who was a really awful cross dresser. He used to be a regular at a cafe I used to go to in Chicago. He'd stuff his shirt with socks, and they'd sometimes fall out the bottom or be completely lopsided. Once, he lost a sock, and looked up at me as he was picking it up and said "lost a boob."

I, too, am pretty uneducated when it comes to cross dressers, but I think it runs a spectrum of needs and desires to appear as the other gender.

[corn poffi]

Gender-training sounds absolutely medieval and horrifying!

Alison, I kind of need to meet this Michael/Michelle character. Sounds like a riot!

[weeniegeniewife]

I've worked with a lot of cross-dressers in my practice; cross-dressing is clinically classified as a fetish. Oftentimes it comes down to two things for these guys: 1) wearing women's clothing is sexually arousing to them and 2) wearing women's clothing brings comfort (think the whole Freudian Oedipus complex). Sometimes wearing women's clothing reminds them about being close to their mothers.

None of the male cross-dressers I work with are gay. They are heterosexual and most of them are married with children. Jenn was right when she gave that statistic.

You would be surprised, just walking around on the street, how many men are wearing women's underwear on any given day.

[PrincessFiona]

I read this article that compared the two approaches but didn't find one better than the other. Both boys were kindergarten age. In the one approach, the boy was allowed to be a girl. In the other, all girl toys were gradually removed and the child was encouraged to play with more masculine toys and taught to socialize with boys. This was a journey, not torture. At the end, if given a choice, the child still chose more female toys but reported not feeling like a girl and being happy to be a boy. He appeared adjusted to his actual gender and socialized normally with both genders. It never sounded like torture.


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[diggitydot]

I don't know what article you're talking about, but two kids is not a valid study size. While an interesting anecdote, I think something with a larger sample size and a control group would be more supportable.

[DCJenn]

WGW-

I almost wrote the exact same thing!- you'd be surprised who is wearing silky panties!

Jenn

[Vanquisher]

WGW-

I almost wrote the exact same thing!- you'd be surprised who is wearing silky panties!

Jenn

I am! I crack myself up. Carry on.

[Pollyanna]

I read this article that compared the two approaches but didn't find one better than the other. Both boys were kindergarten age. In the one approach, the boy was allowed to be a girl. In the other, all girl toys were gradually removed and the child was encouraged to play with more masculine toys and taught to socialize with boys. This was a journey, not torture. At the end, if given a choice, the child still chose more female toys but reported not feeling like a girl and being happy to be a boy. He appeared adjusted to his actual gender and socialized normally with both genders. It never sounded like torture.


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Does not sound like torture to me. Sounds like an idea that makes a lot of sense in terms of going to each and every avenue to help you child. I guess it may sound politically incorrect or like someone that would choose this route is not accepting of their child but I would disagree with that.
In terms of comparing a child with gender identity issues, or autism, or anything that creates a lifetime of struggles it is important to realize that each and everyone of these situations causes pain. You cannot say one is more difficult than the other because each one is hard as hell for the affected family. It's like those two woman (I mentioned in another thread) that were fighting whose pain was worse, the one who had a second trimester pregnancy loss or the one who lost her 9 year old from an accident. Each one of those loses are horrible and will be felt forever. Each and every struggle our children experience are deeply held in our hearts as parents. One struggle is not easier than the other.
One of my favorite stories goes something like this. A large group of people were complaining to God about their crosses they had to bear and how they wish they could have a different cross because life would be some much easier. So the Lord told everyone to throw their crosses in a pile and then everyone could pick an easier cross to bear, each person chose their own cross.