Are mobile devices changing how we socialize?

[PrincessFiona]

and ... is this a good or a bad thing?

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. I'm not sure of where to post it, but here it is....

When dh came home with our iphones, I was surprised that he had a texting plan. I didn't anticipate using it, and truth be told, I'm really bad about texting and mobile typing. I don't enjoy the small keyboards and it seems so impersonal. I use it for sending a picture, texting a friend my weight once a week (BonBon LOL) and things like telling Thomas I have arrived at the hospital for lunch.

My mom, on the other hand, uses her iphone as one of her main means of communicating now. So do some of the people here that I know. They send long text messages, and answer when they can. I feel like it creates a sense of distance and I feel distanced really from them. They don't see it that way. My mom works a lot and she isn't always able to make a phone call ... so she feels like she can have a conversation throughout the day this was. To me it just doesn't feel like a conversation. I also can't always engage because I'm driving or busy with the kids ... I always feel very awkward if someone texts me and I can't answer until many hours later. Sometimes I even miss the text and don't see it for days ... and then I offend.

I sort of feel like it takes away from actual interacting and socializing.

Also, during the day, Amanda uses my computer for her homeschooling stuff so I rarely get online. I usually surf the web/visit imsn when I'm waiting to pick a child up in a parking lot somewhere. If I post, it's on my iphone with my iphone keyboard and so then I'm minimizing words to type less .... I say things differently than I would if I was taking my time on a keyboard. Sometimes that is to my disadvantage. I can sound more harsh than I intend, or I see a post that I really want to respond to but don't want to do from my mobile device ... then by the time I get on a keyboard I have forgotten it or the topic is old.

Do you text? Do you post from a mobile device. How do you feel about texting/mobile posting etc in the context of socializing in general?

Kris

[HouseofWool]

This is something I really struggle with. Being a single parent of 2 young kids means that my opportunities to get out and meet people are so limited as to be painful. (In the spirit of full disclosure - I know I struggle with loneliness - really struggle, which seems odd when I live with 5 other people.) Unfortunately, that means that my main social contacts are on-line. Sad, but true.

I do text, but it tends to be more limited in nature. I cannot have a full "conversation" when I am limited to 160 characters. I do use my phone sending quick pics to family and friends.

I miss the way that people used to interact. I think that having your neighbors in your business made sure that you kept you business clean and you were less likely to be diddling the babysitter. I don't think we need to completely shun current technology, but I do think face-to-face interactions are crucial.

[PrincessFiona]

Kris, to add to you line of thought .... I really worry about my kids and the fact that mobile everything is their main way to communicate. I can drive a van of girls and have complete silence ... they are texting each other in the van instead of talking. When Amanda lost her phone for 3 weeks because she got behind on school work, she was devastated to be "cut off" from friends. When I suggested that she could pick up the actual phone and call them, she told me that was "just awkward" and refused. She didn't talk to friends for 3 weeks ... even though we had a working home phone. How will they be as adults???

[corn poffi]

I am a text-a-holic. Always have been. I texted all the time in college, and text all the time now. BUT, i don't use texting as a sole means of communication. I mainly text at work...my job is pretty boring, and I use it to pass time with friends in the same situation. I also text when I'm trying to meet up with friends at night. Sometimes I swear I'm hard of hearing, so calling them while they're at a noisy bar gets nothing accomplished.

That said, there is only one person I text but rarely ever see in person or talk on the phone with. She's my best friend in high school, lives across the country, and works third shift. So, if it weren't for texting, we'd probably talk a lot less.

My biggest pet peeve with texting is that I think that it's putting a smaller emphasis on spelling/grammar. I'm a total nerd when it comes to that, so I don't use crazy abbreviations, etc. I think the real harm in regard to socialization is for younger people. I have a feeling kids growing up with cell phones, texting, etc. will have a problem dealing with the real world.

[Chrisada]

All the text slang drives me nuts. I still text using correct grammar. Probably one of the last few. Sometimes it's just so much easier to text something quick than to make a phone call. I text quite often with my dad, which is still a little weird. Just quick things though. Apparently my mom has also started texting, lol. It's so easy to make a playdate over a text too. I actually feel that it keeps me more in touch with my friends. But if I have more than a sentence to say, I'll still pick up the phone instead.

[PrincessFiona]

YES! It drives me nuts that my daughter and her friends also write things like *wiff* instead of *with* because they think they sound cool. My response is beyond a cringe. I have seen this language creep into her writing for language arts and she doesn't even realize it. Also, the whole texting while working thing ... She volunteers on 2 Fridays a week at the elementary school and the teacher told me she has been texting lately while she is giving the kids directions etc ... and that she needs to stop. My daughter just doesn't really seem to get it. I wish for the younger kids we could just take them away completely. Maybe I'll spend the summer in Montana!

Kris

[Chrisada]

This reminds me of a friend teaching at a university and saying that some of her students were actually using texting slang in their papers!!! And what about FB slang? I dare you to decipher this "dey can tawk shyt all dey wnt cus (CLEARLY) dey aint tawkn bout nun im tryna finish skul & b sum in lyf." From one of my former student's Facebook who does in fact know the English language.

[BonBon]

It's definitely changed how I socialize. I finally got my first cell phone not quite 2 years, and never dreamed I'd use the texting plan. I'm guilty too of shortening words - I never thought I would. Ie "abt" for about. I'm cringing over "wiff" though, but if I'm honest, my friends and I did that in high school too. That phase will end!!

All that said, it has changed for the better. I *can't* talk on the phone for the most part. Between demands of kids, this flipping house, all the laundry...when DH is home I spend time with him. When I do talk on the phone, it's always because we made an appointment ahead of time. So sad!!! Texting allows me to keep in daily touch with people, and I know snippets about their lives I wouldn't otherwise know. It's so convenient because I can do it when I have a free minute. My brother gets annoyed with me because I only answer the phone one time out of 5, but fercryingoutloud, he always calls when I'm making dinner or giving the kids a bath! (FWIW, I never get offended if my text doesn't get answered for a few days )

Kids not using the phone to actually speak EVER would trouble me too. It's a skill they need to be comfortable with - most jobs don't involve texted conversations.

[BonBon]

Chrisada...oof. That was painful to try to read!

[diggitydot]

I haaaaate text conversations and DD1 has been forbidden from having hour long "conversations" via text. DH uses maybe 50 texts each month, I use around 250, and DD1 blows through 3,000-4,000.

Now that we have iPhones I rarely use any other computer unless I'm doing the monthly bills. I surf while waiting for kids from various activities, check various account balances, check for coupons or prices while shopping, etc. I use it all the time.

I text, but not extensively, and NOT for conversations. DH uses it a lot for work, and I get much more vibrant responses from him via text than I do on the phone (he's ALWAYS been awful on the phone, it's so good we didn't try to do the LD relationship thing). Still, it drives me nuts, and if we exchange more than 3 or 4 texts, I stop responding and call him.

The slang stuff I see on teen FB pages makes me CRAZY. I will shorten some words when texting, but I don't/won't intentionally misspell things.

[SuzySunshine]

I text a few of my friends and my sister but its really more for, we're on our way or are you home so that we can ichat type stuff. DH doesn't text but since he has his bb I can e-mail him throughout the day little things that are important and know that he'll get them. I think all media has made real communication harder but I REALLY try to pick up the phone and talk to oen of my girlfriends that has moved away on a regular basis. I ichat with my one sister regularly and with my parents a couple of times a month. I don't have an iphone or phone that allows me those kind of functions but I do text. I'm more guilty of letting fb and e-mail replace real communication.

[Michele]

I have a feeling kids growing up with cell phones, texting, etc. will have a problem dealing with the real world.

I disagree. I think this is the real world. My mom hates cell phones and social networking, and we argue about it occasionally. I think it's just a change. I don't think it's worse or better, just the new era. When we bought my minivan 8 months ago, we did everything online. Just drove up, saw the van, signed the papers and left. Super easy.

Having moved around a lot recently, it's the easiest way to keep in touch w my friends. Especially the ones that are busy w kids and activities. I don't mind text conversations that pick up and leave off throughout the day/week.

I like reading FB updates. It's slightly voyeuristic, but it helps me feel connected in our increasingly individualistic society.

It's definitely going to present challenges parenting school aged children. But I think back to the unique challenges the Internet provided my parents....and the hippie/drug culture that challenged their parents.

[alison]

It definitely creeps into college level papers. Students will write 4 (for) and gr8t (great).

[Pollyanna]

I think Michele has a valid point. We used to be very anti-text until dd hit high school and discovered that teachers and coaches use it as a way to communicate. You don't have to communicate that way but you become completely out of the loop. Dh and I use texting to communicate with each other all day, some just fun and sexy and others just to make sure we are on the same page with activities, etc.
My one major issue with texting specifically is that it removes you from the present. It's hard to live in the moment, enjoy the here and now, when all these messages are coming in. We try to make sure the kids limit texting during family time which they are good about.

I like facebook because there is no other way for me to stay connected to some people plus I am not good at writing letters. Even calling is impossible because most of my friends work so the only time they can chat is at night and we are all busy running kids at that time.

Like Michele said, it's just a new form of communication that we will have to learn to welcome into our lives. My mom still talks about how it was when they got a phone on the farm. It was a party line, not private like it is today, so you could learn all the town gossip, lol. Times they are a changin'

ETA: response typed from android phone while I wait with a sleeping baby in the car and dd1 is at the eye doctor