Fitting Religion into the Budget?

[Deebs]

We're Catholic and give what we can/are willing. I don't know what my in-laws pay in dues to their temple, but I do know that tix for High Holy days are $200/person. Compared to many of our friends in Chicago, that actually isn't really that high. The only temple I can think of that doesn't have fairly steep dues and ticket costs for high holys is in St. Louis.

[GrayMatterWife]

We bought Christmasy piggy banks in January. There's a Nutcracker one to save for those expenses. An elf one for cousins' gifts. And a Santa one for charity. That's how we got the girls involved with saving for charity.

We do the same type of thing for DS's weekly allowance. If he does all his chores, he get $7. $1 to the tithe envelope, $1 to the savings envelope, $5 to the discretionary envelope. But, if he does not get paid the entire $7, he must pay the first two envelopes first, from whatever he gets. And, if he doesn't make $2 total (rare occasion!), then he has to catch up on those envelopes from the next week's allowance!

I should put DH on this system, come to think of it...

[GrayMatterWife]

The only temple I can think of that doesn't have fairly steep dues and ticket costs for high holys is in St. Louis.

I'm here in STL and a close friend of mine here is an observant Jew. (Her dad used to be the rabbi!) It ain't cheap, but it's do-able. And they are very supportive of families with many children who cannot afford the fees (I think there may be an unofficial "reproductivity" waiver!")

[ladymoreta]

When I was working, we gave 10% of pre-tax income. Now, I really only have been occasionally giving, and that's pretty rare. I don't like that, but it's just kind of happened.

Our church's attitude towards tithe is fantastic. They encourage 10%, but they also say if you can't give that, just do what you can. Also, if someone is struggling, they are instructed to take the cash from the offering plate as it passes by. (Honor system.) I can't wait until we get back to giving 10% (or more). This is an extravagantly generous church - they give unbelievable percentages away and operate without debt. I just want to be a part of that again. But I wouldn't feel that way if giving were mandatory to participate in the services...

[rainbabies]

This is a constant conversation in our house. Our local Synagogue goes by income. No way are we paying by our income. We're not religious, but want the kids exposed to culture. The non member fee for Sunday school, twice a month, is $700 each kid. No. Freakin. Way. I'm
Not sure what we'll do...of course, Sunday school has already started and we've still done nothing.
(IMHO, I don't think you should *have* to pay for religion. Call your synagogue and ask them if the have a "discounted" amount you can pay. Most synagogues/churches just *want* you involved and *want* you to come!)

[peggyfromwastate]

Dang! That's a lot!

We don't tithe (10%) right now but we give regularly. We support a girl through the compassion international, we do a special offering to our chosen ministry (not through our church) about 2-3 times a year... I think this will get better with time... I have given a lot if time in the past by running certain programs for the church too.

Idk. I am uncomfortable with churches that make you feel you need to give "x" amount of money, and I'd really be uncomfortable if they looked at our finances or asked what our income is, etc. I don't like being guilted into giving. And one church we were part if tears ago was so big on fundraising that they really laid into you-- to the point that if we were going to give what they wanted we would need to take on cc debt to cover our other living expenses. Milk, gas, or tithe? Hmmm. We left that church. On top of that they didn't even use the money well. Just wasn't a good experience.

Good luck!!

[DCJenn]

We belong to the AHA and the Ethical Society and donate whatever the amount is for general membership. This year we're going to up to a percentage of our income, hopefully 10%. I need to support those whose beliefs mirror my own! That said, when I attend services for weddings or baptisms, I always leave a little something in the collection plate. I like to think my $5.00 is going to a food pantry.

J.

Never having been to a celebration of the High Holidays (and I've always wanted to go ... good to know it's not a drop-in thing!), could someone elaborate on why it's got a specific price tag? Do the celebrations include additional cost on the part of the synagogue?

While I see the pricing for Sunday school that Sylvia mentioned to be high, I'm *assuming* that CCD classes in the Catholic church also have an additional cost, right?

[Pollyanna]

While I see the pricing for Sunday school that Sylvia mentioned to be high, I'm *assuming* that CCD classes in the Catholic church also have an additional cost, right?

Our Parish charges a $10 registration fee per family and then it is $35/child for the entire year but if you can't pay then it's free.

Syl, do they pay your teachers for Sunday school?

[oceanchild]

Yeah, I know my mom paid for our religious ed growing up, but not very much. Our current church uses a home-based "family catechesis", and I don't think they charge for it. They might charge for sacramental prep. (We go to a really rich church, it seems.)

[v-girl]

Our parish charges $80 for the first kid, $10 for sibling. That helps offset the cost for families who can't afford it.

[L.Jane]

Thank you all for your honest answers. We decided to go to the synagogue that I wanted to go to in the first place and just deal with the cost.

Never having been to a celebration of the High Holidays (and I've always wanted to go ... good to know it's not a drop-in thing!), could someone elaborate on why it's got a specific price tag? Do the celebrations include additional cost on the part of the synagogue?

While I see the pricing for Sunday school that Sylvia mentioned to be high, I'm *assuming* that CCD classes in the Catholic church also have an additional cost, right?

Typically if you belong to a congregation, high holiday tickets are included. If you don't belong, they charge you a smaller fee. You can't pass a plate in services because one can not handle or carry money on holy days. Thus we have dues instead of a plate you pass. Its so they can pay the rabbis and pay all the bills for the building among other needs. I understand having dues to upkeep the synagogue, I just think I picked a congregation that just added on to their building and their prices are a bit high.

Also, you can't just walk in on high holidays because of security. After the JCC shooting in LA and other events, security guards are typically in front of the building and are supposed to check tickets to make sure you belong there. During the regular year, you don't need tickets, but many congregations still have security guards. Its sad. As a kid we never had them, and now I have to walk into services through a set of security guards.

[SoonerTexan]

You can't pass a plate in services because one can not handle or carry money on holy days. Thus we have dues instead of a plate you pass. Its so they can pay the rabbis and pay all the bills for the building among other needs.

Thanks for the background--that makes sense!

Thanks for the explanation! I hate the state of the world sometimes (guards for holy days) ive wanted to go to a Jewish service for ages - hopefully one day.

[MrsK]

Shakti, if you want to go to a service, go to a Friday night shabbat service. High Holy Day services are very long and require stamina. A lot of "once a year Jews" are unaware that Shabbat services are relaxed and fun because they only know the formality and tedium of the High Holy Days.