I am also in the "you choose what's right for you and but out of other people's births" camp. My husband (when he was an OB) always said the goal was a healthy baby and a healthy mom and all other goals were secondary. Sometimes, he had people with birth plans that jeopardized their own safety or the child's and that was difficult on everyone on staff. He had one woman arrive at ugly JHU maternity from an outlying gorgeous birth suite hospital by helicopter transfer because the baby was in distress/premie/etc. and the hospital wanted her at a high level center instead and she sobbed for hours about the dreary atmosphere and how that was ruining her birth. OK, fine. Breath, lady.
I think I was lucky since my DH was on staff with each of my births so we had a lot of knowledge and a lot of control that other parents don't have. DD actually went on round with my DH when she was 2 hours old while I napped. All the residents got to ooh and ahh at her.
That's a nice birth memory.
I was induced once and hated it. I was planning on induction for my second because DH would have the weekend off and I didn't want to get dumped at home with an on call husband, a one day old and a toddler with an unscheduled delivery. We had no family in the area. I ended up in labor the night before my induction -- I think because I KNEW if I didn't go in to labor I would be induced in the morning.
I had an episiotomy (very small) with number 1. He was over 10 pounds. It was really no big deal at the time. Very minor incision and I didn't have any issues with pain or healing. Interestingly (and frightening, frankly) I had issues with my episiotimy scar last year as that child (DS) turned 15. 15!!!!! I ended up with an abcess from some type of suture or something that progressed to a fistula and required 3 surgeries and 2 MRIs before they figured out what was going on. So....maybe I'm anti episiotimy now!! All better now but walking around with an infection in your pelvis for a year and 3 surgeries near your hoo-ha is no fun.
As for epidurals, I'm for them when done well. My first was awful. I was against and had nothing until I was ready to push with #2 - then had an epidural to push. It was very light and just took the edge off. I could have kissed the gas man. He was amazing and very skilled.
With all of these, I think some of the controversy comes from different levels of care in different places. The same procedure is not always the same in different hands.
I agree that you should be comfortable with your care team and have some level of trust in them before you go in.

I think I was lucky since my DH was on staff with each of my births so we had a lot of knowledge and a lot of control that other parents don't have. DD actually went on round with my DH when she was 2 hours old while I napped. All the residents got to ooh and ahh at her.

I was induced once and hated it. I was planning on induction for my second because DH would have the weekend off and I didn't want to get dumped at home with an on call husband, a one day old and a toddler with an unscheduled delivery. We had no family in the area. I ended up in labor the night before my induction -- I think because I KNEW if I didn't go in to labor I would be induced in the morning.

I had an episiotomy (very small) with number 1. He was over 10 pounds. It was really no big deal at the time. Very minor incision and I didn't have any issues with pain or healing. Interestingly (and frightening, frankly) I had issues with my episiotimy scar last year as that child (DS) turned 15. 15!!!!! I ended up with an abcess from some type of suture or something that progressed to a fistula and required 3 surgeries and 2 MRIs before they figured out what was going on. So....maybe I'm anti episiotimy now!! All better now but walking around with an infection in your pelvis for a year and 3 surgeries near your hoo-ha is no fun.
As for epidurals, I'm for them when done well. My first was awful. I was against and had nothing until I was ready to push with #2 - then had an epidural to push. It was very light and just took the edge off. I could have kissed the gas man. He was amazing and very skilled.
With all of these, I think some of the controversy comes from different levels of care in different places. The same procedure is not always the same in different hands.
I agree that you should be comfortable with your care team and have some level of trust in them before you go in.
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