What is our responsibility to each other?

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Who is your "neighbor"? Whose plights should impact our lives? To whose aide should we come? In a global society, where does our responsibility to our fellow man stop (or start)?

I don't have an answer for myself. It's something I constantly battle with internally. I'm not looking for answers - I just wanted to share some questions that I've been reflecting on.

[Deebs]

This is an interesting question. Something that DH basically can't stop himself from is stopping to help someone. It is a trait that I so admire, work daily on striving toward myself, and want to teach my children. I want my kids to be the ones that stand up to the bully, share their lunch with a hungry child, knowing their belly will be full in a couple of hours, and find some occupation that helps their fellow man. When my daughter's teacher asked me my goals for DD this year, I told her that I know she's bright, but that I basically just want her to be a kind person. Her teacher just sort of looked at me. I honestly can look past someone in need, completely oblivious, and DH sees nothing but their need. Obviously, my generosity does stop somewhere, though. It's easier to be generous when I live in a nice house, know where my next meal comes from, and have some financial security. I'm not willing to give that up for my fellow man.

[L.Jane]

T When my daughter's teacher asked me my goals for DD this year, I told her that I know she's bright, but that I basically just want her to be a kind person. Her teacher just sort of looked at me.

I would have loved this answer when I was teaching third grade. I swear I ended up teaching those kids more about how to work together in a team and communicate with each other in order to get their work done than I did on any specific subject. It was amazing how they began the year and they could not do a simple group project with out fighting and by the end of the year I heard them listening to each other and making sure everyone was included.

GRU, Great question. Its so difficult to say who you should help and how far you should go. With the world getting so small in the way that we can pretty much talk to anyone on any continent at any time with the advanced technology we have today, how do you define a neighbor. Is it still someone who lives near you, or now is it the whole world? What is the line where we are helping others to our detriment and how do you say, I have to take care of myself first before I can help others without looking selfish now that the whole world is watching everyone through all the social media. Sorry, I only have more question and no answers.

[PrincessFiona]

This is such a great question ... and I don't know the answer. I personally believe that in our country with all of it's resources, we are responsible for providing basic healthcare to each other ... that there should be govt. housing for those who need it .... I strongly support a social net. My idea of eligibility for that net is different than some people's though. I think if people can better themselves to get a better job, they should have to. People on govt. assistance also have a responsibility to our country. We should not be engaged in nation building abroad when we can't figure it out here at home. As a country, I think we should be taking care of ourselves first. I'm as sad about needy children in other countries that we help as I am about the children in our country who we continue to cut benefits for.

I will give someone the shirt off my back ... but only if ... it won't hurt me. That sounds awful.

This is the first year we didn't make some holiday donations. I feel terrible admitting it. The coming tax increases and reduced income will mean a big hit for us and we have to preserve our family first. We argued quite a bit about this. At some point, it does become about personal survival/comfort first. We have a child getting ready to go to college ... we have fixed costs ... I feel like I have a personal responsibility to help others but am now thinking of ways that I can give of myself that are not monetary.

Kris

[LyssaOnTheBorderline]

We should not be engaged in nation building abroad when we can't figure it out here at home. As a country, I think we should be taking care of ourselves first.

Kris

First off I love the question... Even though it makes me uncomfortable because I know there is more I could/should do.

As to Kris's quote there, I whole heartedly agree. I honestly believe that as human beings we should do whatever we can to help those that are in need. BUT if you (or in this case, a country) do not first take care of your own needs pretty soon you will have nothing left to give. And let me tell you from personal experience... It's much easier to get yourself to that place than it is to get yourself out.
Thanks for the thought provoking question!



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[Rapunzel]

Who is your "neighbor"? Whose plights should impact our lives? To whose aide should we come? In a global society, where does our responsibility to our fellow man stop (or start)?

I don't have an answer for myself. It's something I constantly battle with internally. I'm not looking for answers - I just wanted to share some questions that I've been reflecting on.

Well, all mankind is our "neighbor". All the other questions are where it becomes complicated. Do we pick sides in a war? Well, sometimes that is easy, but most of the time it isn't. Even when we have picked sides in a war where it seems rather easy who the good and bad guys are - we end up committing atrocities and doing things that could be universally considered evil. Case in point: The atomic bombs the United States dropped in Japan at the end of WWII. Absolutely needless atrocities committed after we entered a war that could be considered a worthy, albeit tragic, cause. Then we went and hired a bunch of the Nazi scientists and doctors engaged in the abhorrent biological "studies" of those trapped in the prison camps (specifically they were hired by various U.S. government agencies).

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And, too often greed wins out over all else (since I'm doing something good for this country I feel justified in whatever else I might do).

Can Man do good without having it all come back to him as evil?

[Ladybug]

Everyone is our neighbor. We mostly have good intentions, but different answers because we see our neighbor's problems, needs and solutions very differently.

[GrayMatterWife]

This is an interesting question. Something that DH basically can't stop himself from is stopping to help someone. It is a trait that I so admire, work daily on striving toward myself, and want to teach my children. I want my kids to be the ones that stand up to the bully, share their lunch with a hungry child, knowing their belly will be full in a couple of hours, and find some occupation that helps their fellow man. When my daughter's teacher asked me my goals for DD this year, I told her that I know she's bright, but that I basically just want her to be a kind person. Her teacher just sort of looked at me. I honestly can look past someone in need, completely oblivious, and DH sees nothing but their need. Obviously, my generosity does stop somewhere, though. It's easier to be generous when I live in a nice house, know where my next meal comes from, and have some financial security. I'm not willing to give that up for my fellow man.

I had a VERY similar experience!! When DS's teacher asked me what I was hoping for DS's school year, I said that I wanted it to be a step toward his becoming a man of character. The teacher gave me a super-weird look. I was frank: Look my kid is really bright. Academics is not an issue. But I don't want his intellect to "give him a pass" on having low character. We know a lot of really smart scumbags. Too much in our society measures a person by the wrong standard.

Really thought provoking! I wonder about this in the context of charitable donations. I've sponsored kids in foreign countries before, and I don't doubt that this money is put to good use. However, I know there are plenty of local kids/people in need too. I like the idea that all humans are our neighbors, but I do wonder if my obligation to my more proximal neighbors trumps that of more distant neighbors. Not sure where to draw the line, or if there is one.

I think about this too in the context of overseas so-called "voluntourism" by Westerners, which, while well intentioned, may have unforeseen ill effects on local economies in some cases.

I think it's a complex issue. As I think about where to spend my charity dollars in the coming year, this is giving me food for thought.

[Liisi]

Thanks for this thread, Jen! Great questions; I wrestle with them, too. Deb and GMW, I agree that kindness is just as important as intelligence, if not more so. Or, put another way, what good is a brilliant mind without a heart?

And yes, these questions are complex. I sponsor a girl overseas, and my SO and I have given several Kiva loans to entrepreneurs in developing countries, and my SO just spent a good chunk of money buying holiday presents for an anonymous child in our community whose family lives in poverty. So we're helping our neighbors near and far, but you know what? We don't help our literal neighbor, the elderly woman who lives across the street. Our next-door neighbors take care of the woman's yard for her, mowing it in the summer, snow-blowing it in the winter. But we don't know her well and don't help her out. So, I guess it's kind of hypocritical of us to loan money to women in Africa without reaching out to the woman across the street!!!

I think the Earth has plenty of resources to support all of the people on the planet... the problem isn't lack of resources, it's that the multi-billionaires hoard more than their fair share, to the detriment of everyone else. I guess that makes me a socialist? I have no idea how things could actually be made fair, but on a gut level, I feel that it's wrong and unethical for anyone to own multiple private jets and mansions, while so many people in the world go homeless and hungry. Too many mega-rich people have "earned" their wealth by exploiting other people - i.e. using slave labor in other countries, refusing to pay taxes, etc., and care for no one other than themselves.

The problem with these thoughts of mine, of course, is... where do you draw the line, and who decides? I can't say that "living in luxury" shouldn't be allowed while others go homeless and hungry, because it's all relative. I can't really say that having multiple jets and mansions is unacceptably excessive, because there's no way to determine exactly what would be "acceptable." One jet and one mansion? How could the limits actually be decided in a way that wasn't just arbitrary? And while I'm disdainful of what I consider the obscene wealth of multiple mansions and jets, one could also make the argument that me buying mocha lattes or having cable TV is unacceptably luxurious when so many people in the world don't even have their basic needs met.

I don't know what the answers are. I'm just a Pollyanna and wish so much that people cared about other people. I wish there was more focus in our culture on the importance of being kind and compassionate, not just rich and successful. Every human being deserves at least the basics: healthy food, clean water, shelter, warmth, medical care, safety, etc. I don't get the debates about who "deserves" to be helped and who doesn't. Human beings are human beings and we're all worthy. It makes me sad when many of the multi-billionaires continually financially bribe the government to cater to their greedy demands, i.e. not only holding on to every darn penny they have "earned," but expanding their obscene wealth with no end point, with tax evasion, fraud, exploitation of children and slave labor, violence, exploitation of the Earth's resources, etc., etc. It makes me so mad that they have zero empathy for other people and literally do not care about the suffering of others, and have so much money that they get to run the show. And it makes me mad that corporations have the same legal rights as human beings. Corporations are not people; people are people.

I think no Govt or other organization could do any thing until people are not will to bring a change and change their selves. As to keep a society clean and be at it's best, first of all each and every individual need to correct himself, which will ultimately bring an overall change. As, it's of no use to make advice's to others and not applying on your self. So to bring a change Start should be from your own home.