Last Names, Marriage, & Kids

[HouseofWool]

iOh...and another reason I wasn't jumping to change it was, on the morning of my wedding at my bridesmaids luncheon thrown by my aunt/godmother, someone said "Oh, tomorrow we can call you "Mrs. ____" and my MIL chimed in "I'll always be the FIRST Mrs. ____, don't forget that". Ugh.

Um, WTF was her mother in law called?

[WolfpackWife]

Um, WTF was her mother in law called?

Ha, my family (aunts, cousins, bridesmaids) were saying that the next day, I'd officially be Mrs. so-and-so because I'd be married. DH's mom was there (MIL) and she piped up about how I shouldn't forget that she was the FIRST Mrs. so-and so (being the matriach, I suppose). That's when I realized every time I heard myself referred to as "Mrs. so-and-so" I'd always think of DH's mom...

[civilspouse]

I took DH's name. I liked my name much better, but it was important to me to have a family name, especially with kids. At least I don't have to deal with the MIL issue though because DH's mom kept her name. DH's and his brothers have their dads name. I think if they had ever had a girl she would have had MIL's name. I never know how to address cards and such to them. I always write out their full names because she doesn't like being refered to by FIL's last name. It's just so much easier to say The S Family or Mr. & Mrs. S. Actually it was partly because she had a different last name that I found it easy to change mine. I think the idea of changing your middle name is interesting, I hadn't heard of that before. I really like my middle name though, it use to flow really well with my madien name.

[HouseofWool]

Ha, my family (aunts, cousins, bridesmaids) were saying that the next day, I'd officially be Mrs. so-and-so because I'd be married. DH's mom was there (MIL) and she piped up about how I shouldn't forget that she was the FIRST Mrs. so-and so (being the matriach, I suppose). That's when I realized every time I heard myself referred to as "Mrs. so-and-so" I'd always think of DH's mom...

I get it, but unless your MIL's husband created the last name out of thin air, there was likely a Mrs. So-and-so before her. I just don't get people.

[WolfpackWife]

Oh, HA, I get what you're saying. And, yeah, I thought of that too. By that time I had really had it with her and that was just so "her", you know? Ugh. I was NOT NICE by the time we went down for breakfast in the hotel restaurant the morning after our wedding...AFTER MIL had called our hotel room at 8 fucking o'clock and said "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. Where aaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you???" I snapped.

[Curegirl]

My mom kept her maiden name, which I always thought was cool considering she's of the older generation. I got my dad's. I'd want to hyphenate or take on SO's last name if we get hitched but keep my maiden name for work purposes.

[diggitydot]

...AFTER MIL had called our hotel room at 8 fucking o'clock and said "heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. Where aaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you???" I snapped.

Should have told her, "In bed fucking your son..." Guarantee she won't pull that shit again.

[WolfpackWife]

Should have told her, "In bed fucking your son..." Guarantee she won't pull that shit again.

HA!! That could have worked. Although she is also someone who tried to give me a sex positions and BJ book because they "seemed" fun. I was like...you do know who I'm sleeping with, right? You don't feel like that makes this a liiiiittle awkward?

[MrsK]

Ha, my family (aunts, cousins, bridesmaids) were saying that the next day, I'd officially be Mrs. so-and-so because I'd be married. DH's mom was there (MIL) and she piped up about how I shouldn't forget that she was the FIRST Mrs. so-and so (being the matriach, I suppose). That's when I realized every time I heard myself referred to as "Mrs. so-and-so" I'd always think of DH's mom...

Aaaand, this is why I'm "Mrs. K"

[Curegirl]

Wolf, EEWW! I'm all down for being open but shit, eeewww. Eww.

[Cinderella]

Bawhaha DD! Family! I dunno WPW if the MIL gave you a book like that it's game on. She sounds like someone who says and does things for shock value so I'd take it as and invitation to dish it back to her since she likes it.

About the middle name change I'd seen friend do that where they'd switch their middle name to their maiden name and take on the husband's last name. I figured since we could change our name after marriage and I'd scene some pretty wild things like coming up with a completely different last name for the couple to take on that it was fair game. I've always wanted to drop my middle and last name and just be my first name and married name but when I went to the DMV they wouldn't let me do that. The guy pulled out the rule book and cited they had to be able to track me so I had to keep my middle name. I didn't like that since I'd already changed my name at social security to just my first name and married name. They guy wouldn't accept my new social security card and said that they could do whatever but the DMV had their own rules to go by. Ugh. WTFE. I had to keep my middle name on my DL.

[MrsK]

Bawhaha DD! Family! I dunno WPW if the MIL gave you a book like that it's game on. She sounds like someone who says and does things for shock value so I'd take it as and invitation to dish it back to her since she likes it.

About the middle name change I'd seen friend do that where they'd switch their middle name to their maiden name and take on the husband's last name. I figured since we could change our name after marriage and I'd scene some pretty wild things like coming up with a completely different last name for the couple to take on that it was fair game. I've always wanted to drop my middle and last name and just be my first name and married name but when I went to the DMV they wouldn't let me do that. The guy pulled out the rule book and cited they had to be able to track me so I had to keep my middle name. I didn't like that since I'd already changed my name at social security to just my first name and married name. They guy wouldn't accept my new social security card and said that they could do whatever but the DMV had their own rules to go by. Ugh. WTFE. I had to keep my middle name on my DL.

Funny, when I changed my name, they made me change my driver's licence first. In any event, it's probably better to have a middle name or at least a middle initial to distinguish yourself from other people who may have the same first and last name.

[DCJenn]

Uh, Hello? I win.

Generic maiden name- married the first time- changed all my professional stuff to that last name. Got divorced and kept that name. (there were three girls in my high school with my exact first name, middle initial and maiden name)

Married again. Became the Hussey that I am and plan to be forevermore. I'm keeping this last name if I marry 12 more times, it amuses me so damned much.

Poor kid though- his name was a lovely melodic Russian name of which we kept the first name (the Russian middle name is "son of X" and since that obviously wasn't true we gave him my grandfather's first name) and saddled him with Hussey. Hussey isn't even my husband's family name since he's adopted as well. Apparently his birth last name would have been either Korpela (also Finn) or Henderson.

Oh well, Hussey it is.

J.

[Alacrity]

Weird. There's a family at our dance studio who hyphenated the kids' last name. Mom kept her maiden name. DH has a cousin who he and his wife took the hyphenated route. Joe Smith-Jones. I found that odd too. I'm old-fashioned.

Only problem is that if you continu that for the next generation you end up sounding like a law firm. Alacrity Fitzhugh-Goldfarb-smith-jones

[Vishenka69]

I always wondered what happens when two people with hyphenated names get married and decide to hyphenate.

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