I Call BS

[MrsC]

She did. She dropped out of college because she didn't know what to do with her degree. She said that people try to talk to her about having a career but she cannot imagine that there is anything more meaningful to do with her life or any way she can have a greater impact on the world than by raising her children. There is nothing before or after babies.



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Just three years ago I kind of had a similar point of view. But it was because I hadn't yet figured out what I was good at, I'd put everything on hold for DH's career.
Once I figured out that art was my passion, I began to work on my degree and finally felt like I knew who I was.
Of course now that I'm a SAHM, it is on hold and I've kind of lost myself again. I only have one kid and it's hard, hardest job I've ever had. I know it will be even harder if we are blessed with more children. I love being a SAHM some days, others not so much.
I think that for some women, it is the most fulfilling job, for others their career is. For me, I think I'd be happiest working part - time because you get the best of both worlds. Though I know a lot of people don't have this luxury.
We all have different paths in life. Sometimes you don't know what's right for you until you're in the deep end.

ETA - A bit off topic but I hate the conversation starter "what do you do?". Like everyone can be defined by what their job is. I know a lot of people who work in factories, stores, all kinds of jobs that are not professions and they're a lot happier than others I know with careers.


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[SuzySunshine]

My sister dropped out if college because she didn't know what to do either, she nannied for many years and then went to nursing school. She's now a very successful NP so maybe the girl just needs some time.

[bobk]

For me, I think I'd be happiest working part - time because you get the best of both worlds. Though I know a lot of people don't have this luxury.

I'm fortunate to be able to do this and it is the best of both worlds in many ways. It's not always ideal though. I often feel that I'm shortchanging both the kids and my job, plus I rarely get any downtime.

[medpedspouse]

I would ask your helper what she would find "most rewarding" if she could not have kids.

[Flynn]

But consider you are just a few weeks out of a very difficult pregnancy with a traumatic birth, taking care of toddler boys, while your husband adjusts to a new job. I'm not surprised you feel overwhelmed and pissed!

YES. THIS!

I tell people my favorite age for kids is 4, then 5, then 6 etc. I'm not a fan of babies 24 / 7 OR toddlers 24 / 7 and that's what my life was like in the early parenting phases. I felt like a monster thinking that back then -- but I like to TALK to my kids, have them answer, avoid temper tantrums where you have to bodily remove your child from the situation. I LOVE to coach them, help out with science projects and think through an issue with a friend.

I did not enjoy chopping, wiping, cleaning, burping, wiping, and chopping again. My back aches just thinking about it. I was exhausted from my scalp to my toenails ALL THE TIME when my kids were younger.

My kids are now 11, 9, and 5. I enjoy staying home -- and no my 5 year old isn't in kindergarten or full time pre-school.

I DO feel like what I am doing for my kids is important and I feel at peace with my decisions up until this point. I don't work outside the home. I'm FINE with that but realize it's not the right choice for everyone.

Cut yourself some slack and know it does get more fun. Your are not an ogre!!!

[MrsK]

I was exhausted from my scalp to my toenails ALL THE TIME when my kids were younger.

I don't know how people can do this. I'm constantly running from fire to fire, there are always at least two people yelling at me, the kids take turns being unreasonable and having tantrums all day long, someone is always in peril, the house is a mess, I cannot sleep or eat or use the bathroom without being interrupted by someone demanding something. I have no time or energy for DrK. We are bickering all the time. And this is with help. I feel like a one-legged woman in an ass kicking contest. I just want to pee alone.



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[Vishenka69]

I don't know how people can do this. I'm constantly running from fire to fire, there are always at least two people yelling at me, the kids take turns being unreasonable and having tantrums all day long, someone is always in peril, the house is a mess, I cannot sleep or eat or use the bathroom without being interrupted by someone demanding something. I have no time or energy for DrK. We are bickering all the time. And this is with help. I feel like a one-legged woman in an ass kicking contest. I just want to pee alone.



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That's exactly how I feel and I only have 2. Wish I had some advice but can only commiserate.

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[houseelf]

To parrot GMW, "This is debatable?" lol

I hear you loud and clear. Make no mistake, I live for my kids, I would die for them, and they are my absolutely pride and joy. At the same time, I have felt utter rage towards each of them at various points. Like today for example. LOL. I have felt embarrassed, frustrated, outraged, disrepected, scared, overwhelmed, and undervalued. The mother role has the power to create a healthier, happier, more productivee society or create a bunch of sociopaths. The weight of it is enormous. While it is truly one of the most important jobs on the planet, yet everyone shits on mom, on both a macro and micro level. No literally, sometimes people actually shit on you. You're not imagining the depth of hell it can be. I mean, really, who the hell would apply for a job that offered no pay, endless overtime, little intellectual stimulation,physical exhaustion, mercurial personalities, no immediate benefits, and the ultimate surrendering of your body, health, money, career, sex life and free time?

sending you love. Just keep plowing through. It will get better. Sometimes the better the parent, the bigger the toll it takes on them. <<<hugs>>>>

[Vishenka69]

I remember hearing/reading that if you don't find parenting to be excruciatingly difficult, you're not doing it right.

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[GrayMatterWife]

I don't know how people can do this. I'm constantly running from fire to fire, there are always at least two people yelling at me, the kids take turns being unreasonable and having tantrums all day long, someone is always in peril, the house is a mess, I cannot sleep or eat or use the bathroom without being interrupted by someone demanding something. I have no time or energy for DrK. We are bickering all the time. And this is with help. I feel like a one-legged woman in an ass kicking contest. I just want to pee alone.



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1. Wait…what? You actually identify, respond to, and put out the fires? Impressive. I treat most fires like those fires like "controlled burns" of overly dry prairies…you know, preventative, to avoid a bigger conflagration later.

2. Two people are yelling at you? Maybe you should take those two people, lock them in a room and tell them that they now have the attention of a captive audience (the other one)!

3. It is sort of kind of your kids to take turns being unreasonable and throwing tantrums. It might be worse if they happened together (although there is something to be said for getting it over with…)

4. Someone is in peril and the house is a mess? Sounds to me like you can kill two birds with one stone: give those little danger-hunters a dustpan and dust broom and a feather duster, and put them to work. Who has ever been in peril while housecleaning (assuming no chemicals!)?

Look, joking aside: first, you are in the postpartum throws of Crazyville. It won't be like this forever. Give yourself six months to get adjusted. Second, you need to use the words: I AM HAVING PRIVATE TIME FOR MY BODY! I WILL BE OUT OF THE BATHROOM IN A MINUTE! (I say this a LOT--it is funny--the girls now stand outside the bathroom door, discussing the fact that Mom is pooping in private--most of the time I'm not--I have barricaded myself in the bathroom for a moment of non-kid time--my husband thinks I am horribly constipated.) Third, you need to put your relationship with DrK on the FRONT BURNER. They are your kids, but he is your husband. The formers' needs do not trump your relationship with him. He is just as important--just in a different way (and, being a grown-up, he has the ability to understand that his needs, while important, are not the single-most pressing concern on your time). Do less for your kids so that you can do more for him (and yourself!). They will not die. Do less for them. Something has to give, and it is them. Even if it is something like dumping the boys on a mommy-day-out program for a couple of hours or something. Get them away from you so that you can be human and a wife and not simply a pack mule for the immediate needs of three tiny little people.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I thought of men when I first saw this but now I'm reconsidering

pedestal-stand-with-roll-holder-for-ipad-cta-L-gfNNmv.jpeg


http://www.amazon.com/CTA-Digital-Pedestal-Stand-Holder/dp/B00AQT653G/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1392600287&sr =1-1&keywords=CTA+Digital+Pedestal+Stand+for+iPad+2%2 F3%2F4+with+Roll+Holder

[MrsK]

You know, they make a potty for toddlers that holds an iPad. ..

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[MrsK]

Last weekend, we had a family outing to Barnes and Noble. Someone had sent the boys gift cards. I asked DrK if he could help the boys choose books in the children's section while I browsed another section of the store with Lambie. He agreed and I headed toward the exit to the children's department. I was about 10 steps away when both boys started shrieking "Mamaaaaa!"and running after me. Then K2 threw himself at my feet and grasped my ankles in a scissors hold. It was completely ridiculous.

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[SoonerTexan]

Im impressed you made it to Barnes and Noble already!

[MrsK]

Oh, we are out. As long as someone else is driving and we are not snowed in, we are keeping to the boys' routines. Believe it or not, Lambie will already be a month old tomorrow. The boys have been going to preschool, swim class, birthday parties. .. It's my activities that are suffering because I only have help when the boys are with me. Otherwise, I'm stuck at home. I'd kill to get a manicure and roam around target on my own with Lambie.

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