I Call BS

[GrayMatterWife]

Last weekend, we had a family outing to Barnes and Noble. Someone had sent the boys gift cards. I asked DrK if he could help the boys choose books in the children's section while I browsed another section of the store with Lambie. He agreed and I headed toward the exit to the children's department. I was about 10 steps away when both boys started shrieking "Mamaaaaa!"and running after me. Then K2 threw himself at my feet and grasped my ankles in a scissors hold. It was completely ridiculous.

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You've taken the first step on the road out of toddler insanity: you recognize that is ridiculous.

**I would have been pissed at DH: what the heck?? PARENT, PLEASE and prevent them from stalking me like a deer during hunting season.

[MrsK]

**I would have been pissed at DH: what the heck?? PARENT, PLEASE and prevent them from stalking me like a deer during hunting season.

This is why we are bickering all the time.



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[GrayMatterWife]

I'd kill to get a manicure and roam around target on my own with Lambie.

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Oh, seriously! TIME TO GET DH TO BABYSIT. TONIGHT. Boy Night in your house! You and Lambie go to B&N or Target. And maybe Starbucks. Go buy a fabulous new book, get a cup of coffee and hole yourself up at B&N.

I did that two weeks ago. It had been a HORRENDOUS day. Work was misery. The girls were home (and had been) for three days due to school cancellations. I thought I was going to lose my mind. DH was coming home about 6:45. I fed the baby, made everyone a dinner, served it out on plates, filled the milk cups, popped open a Sam Adams for DH, and called the kids to dinner--just as DH walked in. Very calmly, I said, "Dinner's served. The girls can go to bed right after. DS needs to finish his Latin. I'm leaving for a while. Have a good night." And just left. Not mad or anything. But I needed to GET AWAY. Went to B&N for a couple of hours.

[MrsK]

Oh, seriously! TIME TO GET DH TO BABYSIT. TONIGHT. Boy Night in your house! You and Lambie go to B&N or Target. And maybe Starbucks. Go buy a fabulous new book, get a cup of coffee and hole yourself up at B&N.

I did that two weeks ago. It had been a HORRENDOUS day. Work was misery. The girls were home (and had been) for three days due to school cancellations. I thought I was going to lose my mind. DH was coming home about 6:45. I fed the baby, made everyone a dinner, served it out on plates, filled the milk cups, popped open a Sam Adams for DH, and called the kids to dinner--just as DH walked in. Very calmly, I said, "Dinner's served. The girls can go to bed right after. DS needs to finish his Latin. I'm leaving for a while. Have a good night." And just left. Not mad or anything. But I needed to GET AWAY. Went to B&N for a couple of hours.

I would. He would. But I still need a driver. That is the reason I am never alone.

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[PrincessFiona]

Why do you still need a driver? It seems like enough time has passed that you could call your OB and asked to be cleared over the phone to drive. Because of our busy family, I was driving within 72 hours of each c-section and my dr was okay with it. I didnt have to be pushy about it at all. Just basically asked and it was ok. Drove myself multiple times/day to the NICU.

Call your doc today and ask for permission if it's important to you.

[ladymoreta]

It is kind of an impossible situation right now, and I'm so sorry you're in the deepest of the trenches. How much longer do you have of no driving? There will be an end to this phase, and there's nothing wrong with wishing away a few weeks, no matter how much people try to tell you to enjoy these moments. Some of them are going to be blocked from your memory in a few years, for good reason.

[PrincessFiona]

If you don't drive, have dh drop you off and pick you up a couple hours later. You deserve a break.

[WolfpackWife]

I just wanted to step in momentarily and say that I really admire the candid honesty in this thread. Partly because what you're saying is one of my biggest fears about parenting - that it seems so start out so unrewarding, taxing, unending, exhausting, and difficult. I think sometimes people have a hard time admitting that it's not exactly the huge reward they may have always been told it was. Obviously the end result is more than worth it, and I am sure there is nothing on this earth that compares to raising kids, but it seems so true that it can be an isolating and infuriating task at some points, and that isn't an opinion that everyone always understands.

FWIW (and I know that's not much) - I think you're all kick ass!

[GrayMatterWife]

If you don't drive, have dh drop you off and pick you up a couple hours later. You deserve a break.

This. I've never had any kind of postpartum driving restrictions, so I am not sure how that works. But you should get dropped off or take a cab or something. You need some quiet time!!

[MrsK]

Why do you still need a driver? It seems like enough time has passed that you could call your OB and asked to be cleared over the phone to drive. Because of our busy family, I was driving within 72 hours of each c-section and my dr was okay with it. I didnt have to be pushy about it at all. Just basically asked and it was ok. Drove myself multiple times/day to the NICU.

Call your doc today and ask for permission if it's important to you.

I'm still having a lot of pain and still using narcotics, both of which slow down my response time. Also, my range of motion is still limited so driving and lifting restrictions remain. I'm hoping that they will be lifted within the next two weeks.

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[Deebs]

MrsK - I was always on a six week driving restriction, and I second the idea of having DrK drop you off somewhere (like for a pedicure) and picking you up. I'm sorry you're still in so much pain. Four weeks of needing narcotics is harsh - is it because you're over doing it being out and about (even if you have help)? Take care of yourself. Hugs!

[peggyfromwastate]

Yes I'd be worried about the narcotics--- I could not stand those and got off as soon as possible (like with 72 hours). Can you try to go to just Motrin/Tylenol combo? The narcotics made me feel so aweful-- I know that others probably respond better. But I felt 100 times better off them even if I had some pain.

This isn't the time to stick to the boys normal routine IMHO. They don't need more than school. Even swim is not really worth the hassle I would think-- unless you could switch to a class that drK takes them to only.

[MrsK]

The meds have been stepping down every 2 weeks or so but each time I suffer for a couple days. Mostly, I think it's the boys pulling on me. My worst days have been after we have a day of meltdowns.

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[ladymoreta]

You also had the extra procedure to fix scar tissue, right? That probably affects the healing time and level of pain.

[GrayMatterWife]

Oh, my word. If I lived ANYWHERE close to you, I would come over RIGHT NOW and take those boys off your hands for the weekend so you can get some rest. PLEASE be careful and don't overdo it. My mom had some emergency intestinal surgery and my one-year-old brother jumped on her and ripped out the interior stitches. Take care of yourself.