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How I Made Sure All 12 of My Kids Could Pay for College Themselves

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  • #16
    I think it's a little nuts. IL's were very regimental, locks on the tv cabinet and all that. The family is always fighting and haven't been in the same house together in years so I don't know what good it did. I feel like parenting is about balance.
    Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
    Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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    • #17
      I told dh about this story and he said " it's totally made up. People are so gullible". Lol.
      Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Phoebe View Post
        did I read that they sent their kids as young as kindergarten on planes to fly solo to visit relatives for three weeks? That is a little excessive in my opinion..
        Kindergarten is 5-6 right? Meh, I see kids flying to visit grandparents/divorced parents on the plane all the time over the summer and in March. In March, you can have a couple of rows of kids flying on their own at that age.

        I think it is what is normal in your family. My mom handed me over to my uncle at 28 days old to fly to my grandparents. Not scarred, still very close to my mom and did not have to seek therapy.
        Finally - we are finished with training! Hello real world!!

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        • #19
          Weren't these overseas flights to Europe?
          Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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          • #20
            This reminds me of a family I used to help in high school. They don't 'believe' in birth control (I love saying that. As if it doesn't exist. Really they abstain from BC for religious reasons) so by the time I would go to their house they had...7? 8? kids? Under the age of 10. They were very regimented as well but not given nearly as much freedom as the kids in this article. Anyway, all of this is to say the mother started having health issues after the 7th or 8th child. She started miscarrying. Two miscarriages, baby, two or three more miscarriages, it was horrible. She had some chronic physical problem that's escaping me now, and migraines all the time. They also believed the mother should be with their children pretty much all the time so she wasn't 'allowed' to get a babysitter. I'd come over and help but she never left without the kids. Imagine going grocery shopping with your 7 children under the age of 10. I don't know, it was pretty sad to see how overworked she was and how her body was starting to turn against her. Imagining the camping scene I kept imagining the family I knew, how miserable the mom would have been but would have done it because she's a submissive wife.

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            • #21
              I realize he almost certainly didn't write the headline, but I'm disappointed none of that explains how his kids paid for college.

              1. Raise your kids with "self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society."
              2. ????
              3. Twelve college educations are paid for.
              Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
              Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

              “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
              Lev Grossman, The Magician King

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Auspicious View Post
                I realize he almost certainly didn't write the headline, but I'm disappointed none of that explains how his kids paid for college.

                1. Raise your kids with "self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society."
                2. ????
                3. Twelve college educations are paid for.
                1+
                Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Auspicious View Post
                  I realize he almost certainly didn't write the headline, but I'm disappointed none of that explains how his kids paid for college.

                  1. Raise your kids with "self respect, gratitude, and a desire to give back to society."
                  2. ????
                  3. Twelve college educations are paid for.
                  My thoughts exactly. I mean, I guess if you refuse to pay for your kids to go to college, then by default they have to pay for it themselves, right? That's what my 3 sibs and I did, and my parents didn't have to be anywhere near this militaristic to accomplish that. They just had to let us know it was our responsibility!
                  PA and wife of a PGY2 in neurosurgery. And "cat-mom" to the two sweetest cats anyone could hope for.

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                  • #24
                    On a tangential note, while I haven't seen that many episodes of the Duggars' show, this family totally reminds me of them. The thing I find so striking and, frankly, sad in the Duggars' situation is that there doesn't seem to be much/any time for "one on one" parent/child time, which to me seems so important. And to have to "assign" your older kids to buddy up with your younger ones as the family in this article did also seems like a strange concept. But I suppose if you have that many kids, you need the older ones to play some of the parental role just to make daily life work.

                    And I second the previous poster in wanting to know the perspective of their children. One of the Duggar kids needs to write a tell-all book someday!
                    PA and wife of a PGY2 in neurosurgery. And "cat-mom" to the two sweetest cats anyone could hope for.

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                    • #25
                      Good lord this guy thinks highly of himself. Super obnoxious.
                      Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

                      sigpic

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                      • #26
                        Yikes, I hope he isn't awakening the Gods of Karma to reign terror on his family. I really sort of shudder a little when someone writes a smug parenting piece. That sort of self congratulatory prose is setting a pretty high bar from which one can tumble down.
                        In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by houseelf View Post
                          I really sort of shudder a little when someone writes a smug parenting piece.
                          Me too. I think it sounded like he coached them into real estate investments that maybe helped pay for college? I'm guessing they probably took out loans, either for the properties or for their tuition.
                          Laurie
                          My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by houseelf View Post
                            Yikes, I hope he isn't awakening the Gods of Karma to reign terror on his family. I really sort of shudder a little when someone writes a smug parenting piece. That sort of self congratulatory prose is setting a pretty high bar from which one can tumble down.
                            Like someone above said, there's probably a reason other than the huge number of family members that causes them to not have all been together in 16 years.
                            Wife, support system, and partner-in-crime to PGY-3 (IM) and spoiler of our 11 y/o yellow lab

                            sigpic

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                            • #29
                              How I Made Sure All 12 of My Kids Could Pay for College Themselves

                              Originally posted by rain_dancer View Post
                              On a tangential note, while I haven't seen that many episodes of the Duggars' show, this family totally reminds me of them. The thing I find so striking and, frankly, sad in the Duggars' situation is that there doesn't seem to be much/any time for "one on one" parent/child time, which to me seems so important. And to have to "assign" your older kids to buddy up with your younger ones as the family in this article did also seems like a strange concept. But I suppose if you have that many kids, you need the older ones to play some of the parental role just to make daily life work.

                              And I second the previous poster in wanting to know the perspective of their children. One of the Duggar kids needs to write a tell-all book someday!
                              My mom is a huge fan if the Duggars, and I've seen a good amount of their show over the years. They are very organized and regimented, but they don't really seem that much like this family to me. Among other things, every time one parent goes somewhere (from grocery store to overnight trip) they try to bring one of the kids along for one-on-one time. Also, I think a couple of the oldest girls (in their early 20s now) have written a book. I'd be curious to read it.

                              I'm curious how all these kids are now raising their kids. Were these things worth passing on?
                              Wife of a PGY-1 podiatric surgery resident, mom to two cat babies with a human one on the way!

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by LadyFoot View Post
                                My mom is a huge fan if the Duggars, and I've seen a good amount of their show over the years. They are very organized and regimented, but they don't really seem that much like this family to me. Among other things, every time one parent goes somewhere (from grocery store to overnight trip) they try to bring one of the kids along for one-on-one time. Also, I think a couple of the oldest girls (in their early 20s now) have written a book. I'd be curious to read it.

                                I'm curious how all these kids are now raising their kids. Were these things worth passing on?
                                I agree with this. I think the early Duggar shows made them seem much more regimented and robotic, if you watch the series you see that is not true. I was kind of shocked when one of the girls that is courting admitted that she really didn't know how to cook.
                                Tara
                                Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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