Family modesty

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

The anatomical doll thread brought this up for me. At what age did you/do you plan to limit exposure to nudity amongst family members? Does this differ for parents vs siblings? Do you have rules only for siblings of opposition gender or all siblings? (ie. do you limit all nudity or only opposite genders)

At this point, there has been no issue with DH and the girls but presumably at some point, it's better for everyone to develop some modesty/privacy rules.

[Pollyanna]

We're not much for modesty rules around here. I think it happens pretty naturally. Dh closes the door when he showers but if a kid needs something they just knock and go in, not a big deal to us. I'm always being walked in on naked, it's the life of a mom If a kid wants to talk I just say, "hold on while I grab something to put on". No one blinks an eye. The siblings change in their rooms. They each have their own sense of modesty but none of them seem to think too much about it.

[diggitydot]

I think we became more private around the time when kids began noticing anatomical differences. Probably around 3-4ish. Now, everyone is respectful about knocking before entering a closed door and makes sure they're dressed when parading around the house. Also, the kids are 18, 14, and 12; that definitely is part of it.

[mommax3]

What little modesty exists around here developed naturally as the boys got older.

[WolfpackWife]

What little modesty exists around here developed naturally as the boys got older.

Lol, thinking of your household reminds me of our neighbors/good friends in my parent's neighborhood. They have 4 boys and a male dog. The mom is in the epitome of Boyland between her husband and their four sons - she once told me "some of the things I've seen, heard, and smelled that's come out of their bodies is just beyond imagination." They are all close in age and when they were all between 8 - 15 she never once set foot upstairs in their bathroom. She said after a while she just couldn't bring herself to look any more. Ha!!

[spotty_dog]

We are a wander-around-naked, toilet-with-doors-open, immodest kinda family. However, we have been working on the concept of privacy since the kids were tiny. So our rule of thumb is that if anyone in the situation is uncomfortable or requests privacy, that is honored. DS has started occasionally trying to keep his privates covered when he dresses, although he still sometimes streaks unconcernedly through the house, but because of his budding interest in propriety I'm now much more likely to ask him to give *me* privacy and time to dress if he walks in on me after a shower. We also stopped coed bathtime for the kids recently.

[MrsK]

I had to start covering up during my last pregnancy. The boys were naturally curious about my changing body but I couldn't deal with them grabbing me every time I undressed. I'm constantly reminding the boys that they must wear pants. Parenting boys involves a tedious amount of nudity. I have no idea what happens to their pants. K1 is especially bad about this. I'll tell him to take off his shoes when he enters the house. A minute later, he's removing his pants in the kitchen.

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[houseelf]

We're pretty Swedish in our approach, but we do close the door to the toilet.

What little modesty exists around here developed naturally as the boys got older.

I must have a future exhibitionist on hand, but my 14 y.o.'s sense of modesty hasn't kicked in. It's kind of surprising, really. If anything, I'm the one throwing up boundaries, "let me grab a towel and we'll talk about it". Sally's story of her oldest son's narcism about the locked bedroom door is so spot on. "But mom there is no more RAMEN in the kitchen! I'm hungry!!!"

In short, It's like a damn locker room around here. Nonetheless, my almost 10 y.o. girl is starting to get modest. I don't know if this is a gender or personality thing. I don't know, I think most modesty is overrated. It is so awesome to go to Europe and see *real human bodies*. Because we tend to be more puritanical and only see naked movie stars, it kind of jacks up our expectations.
Nothing to be ashamed about.

[GrayMatterWife]

I could really use a little more modesty around here.

Seriously: why are you naked? I know it is hot and I refused to pay for the AC to run full blast, but I don't think that is any reason to force me to endure a constant display of your glory. And, for heaven's sakes, don't sneak downstairs at 1:00 AM to get a drink TOTALLY NUDE. We have a half-glass front door! The neighbors don't need that eyeful! There is just a lot of naked.

But, despite me pleading and begging, my husband just completely ignores me and claims that it is fine since the kids don't see him.

My kids are comparatively modest.

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

I'm totally a naked person...DH is not. I imagine if we have boys, I'll eventually put clothes on...but if I'm home, I'm probably naked. DH is always fully clothed (despite my best efforts.

Toilet time as always private time (excluding the cats who seem to love toilet time). ::rolls eyes::


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[BonBon]

I'm totally a naked person...DH is not. I imagine if we have boys, I'll eventually put clothes on...but if I'm home, I'm probably naked. DH is always fully clothed (despite my best efforts.

Toilet time as always private time (excluding the cats who seem to love toilet time). ::rolls eyes::

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This is us, including the cats...and if I don't let them in, little kitty paws reach under the door. DH has only witnessed me urinating once. (Shortly after knee surgery because I needed help) When I get out of the shower, I'm naked for about an hour. The kids don't care yet, and are completely immodest themselves. The only one who covers up is DH because he thinks they'll need therapy as adults if they see him.

I figure as they get older modesty will come naturally. As of right now, our only rule is no waving your butt in someone's face. (Swear, my son could be an exotic dancer...)

[Thirteen]

This is us, including the cats...and if I don't let them in, little kitty paws reach under the door. DH has only witnessed me urinating once. (Shortly after knee surgery because I needed help) When I get out of the shower, I'm naked for about an hour. The kids don't care yet, and are completely immodest themselves. The only one who covers up is DH because he thinks they'll need therapy as adults if they see him.

I figure as they get older modesty will come naturally. As of right now, our only rule is no waving your butt in someone's face. (Swear, my son could be an exotic dancer...)

*snicker*

I grew up in a "knocking but I'm coming into the bathroom because I need something right now!" house, so modesty wasn't a huge issue.
My parents never walked around in their underwear or in the nude, but the three children grew up in the country, on acreage, so clothing seemed very optional.
My mom started the underwear rule for each of us at around age 10: to come downstairs, you had to at least be in your underwear.

DH's family is SO not comfortable with anything less than both tops and bottoms at all times - no visible underwear, no open drapes or blinds ever, zero nudity. I must be rubbing off on him, though, because he walks around in an undershirt and underwear usually once he comes home from work.

[Pollyanna]

Lol, GMW

[LadyFoot]

I grew up in a house sharing a bathroom with 3-4 other people, so we would knock, but if you needed to come in, come in.

DH, on the other hand, grew up in a home where everyone had their own bathroom, and most of the bathrooms were inside their bedrooms, not even in the hallway. Needless to say we have different comfort levels when it comes to modesty. Not a huge deal now, but I'm curious to see how it plays out when there are kids around.

When I was in my late teens I babysat for a family of three boys who were CONSTANTLY running around naked, way past the age where it was appropriate (The youngest was about 3, but I think the oldest was 12...) Drove me up a wall. Not necessarily for my own sake, but because sometimes my 10-year-old sister would come with me and I was always terrified they would run out in front of her. Oi.

[Chrisada]

I have a friend whose mom always walked around naked, even in front of her friends. Not much modestly going on here with three males. I probably say "I need privacy" 10 times a day, but no one listens. Sigh.


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