Did the dad go too far?

[PrincessFiona]

And the bigger question: should the dad lose custody over this?

http://www.newslinq.com/boys-punishment/

[HouseofWool]

The dad went too far. It is not an appropriate consequence for a 4 year old. As for custody? If it is part of a larger pattern of poor judgement, then I can understand it. It shows a distinct lack of empathy and knowledge of child psychology.

[PrincessFiona]

I agree, Kris. I found this article on my FB feed though and it had 200 comments. An overwhelming majority of men and women supported the dad. I'm totally perplexed. This is not developmentally appropriate discipline at all. I can't imagine what a 4 yr old would learn. I'm not a fan of shame-based discipline though.

[diggitydot]

I'm not a fan of that kind of punishment. Natural consequences? Yes. Manufactured ones? Not so much.

I dislike the sign-holding bullshit most of the time, anyway. For a 4 y/o? NFW.

[GrayMatterWife]

OK, I am a parenting hardass. I'll be honest. I spanked DS (girls, not so much--doesn't help). I send kids to the corner. I'll send them there for HOURS if they are irritating me. Leave toys in my living room? Pitched. Fight the car? We turn around and go home--no dinner out, whatever. I am blunt and I am honest. And I don't care if bluntness and honesty hurt feelings (I don't try to hurt anyone, but I don't treat them like fragile wine glasses). I cannot conceive of my kids hauling off and slugging each other, but there would be some sh*t-serious consequences.

But this is just stupid, honestly. It shows immaturity on the part of the dad. Buddy: four-year-olds don't get this. Consequences have to be foreseeable and predictable for the kid to learn--not, as DiggityDot called it--"manufactured." Otherwise, what he learns is that life is random, or why not do whatever you want, since you can't predict anything. Really stupid.

[MrsK]

If I'm understanding this correctly, he left a four year old alone in the middle of a busy intersection. The kid could have been run over or taken. I have a four year old. He would have been terrified, thinking that he'd been abandoned, and would not understand the punishment at all. He cannot read the sign and has a loose idea of shame considering that I have to remind him that pants should be worn in public.

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[alotofyarn]

This is ridiculous. The boy deserved a punishment, but it should have been an age-appropriate punishment, and this was not it. I agree with Kris, that this alone is not grounds for losing custody, but it could be indicative of other poor parenting decisions.

[SoonerTexan]

I thought this would be a thread about Adrian Peterson

[samssugarmomma]

I'm not a fan of this type of punishment either and that's totally inappropriate for a 4 year old. IF is was to condone a punishment like this, wouldn't the kids have to be 8 or 9 to even get it? That's when kids start to get embarrassed around their peers and other people. At 4, the kids just wondering why he has to stand in one place next to a busy street.

This guy needs to get off of the internet and get into some parenting classes!

[samssugarmomma]

Forgot to answer the bigger questions -

If he has a pattern of making poor disciplinary choices, maybe. If not, maybe he just needs some education!

[niener]

I thought this would be a thread about Adrian Peterson

Haha me too

I think this dad genuinely just doesn't get it. There was a story (stories?) floating around the internet not long ago about this kind of public humiliation punishment but being administered to older kids, like middle/high schoolers. I'll bet this dad saw those stories, thought they were funny, and when his kid got in trouble thought he'd be clever and do the same thing. Except papa clueless didn't realize he had a FOUR year old, not a fourteen year old. Sounds to me like he just has zero understanding of age appropriate punishment and child psychology. I don't think it's grounds for custody changes but grounds for reading a couple of books and maybe talking to an expert or child psychologist to understand kids better.


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[MrsK]

The thing that bothers me is that it sounds like he was not supervising the four year old when the kid was standing in a busy intersection with the sign. If he just left his kid there for an hour, this ventures beyond discipline and into child endangerment. If those are the circumstances and I was the kid's mother, I'd seek a change in custody to protect the child and to preserve my parental rights.

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[MrsK]

The mom said something about the kid wanting the dad to pick him up. I don't know if she means that the kid wanted dad to literally carry him or if she means that the kid was waiting for dad to retrieve him.

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[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Did the dad go too far?

I read it as physically wanted to be picked up/held...but it's not clear...

[HouseofWool]

The article is somewhat ambiguous about where dad was during the hour. On one hand, there is the picture of Dad with the sign with the kiddo. On the other, mom's statement makes it sound as if he were left unsupervised. If it is the latter, then to me, a change in custody seems very reasonable. My guess is this isn't the first poor parenting choice the dad has made.