Sayreville locker rooms and assault

[Ladybug]

This whole thing has me in knots. It's so horrible, and I can't imagine the damage done. The healing that may, or may not happen.

I hate locker rooms. Most of our issues came from locker rooms: bullying, kicking, shoving, chocking games...and this was all in the girls locker rooms. There is no supervision...teachers claimed students need privacy. BS. Privacy with all your classmates? They need supervision. We ran into this again and again, and the gym teachers refused to stay in the locker rooms during showers and changes. I think it needs to be required and expected. Cultural. Put adults in the locker room!!!

[mommax3]

I get this....but I know you know why the adults don't want to be in there. It is a no-win situation.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

So can someone, in a respectful way obviously, tell me what they're saying happened? Both articles I've read describe "horrific" things but nothing specific. I don't need gross details but what are they saying went down?

[JDAZ11]

I read that they were sexually assaulted. No specific details. Not that you'd want them...

[Ladybug]

I read an anonymous mother reported digital penetration and then forcing their fingers into their mouths afterwards.

We've always had issues with locker rooms. The coaches won't monitor because they can be accused of "watching" someone. Even if it's not true, just having some jerk student talking about it is enough to lose your job. It's a vulnerable place to be for adult.

What if we did away with locker rooms? Is it going to kill anyone to shower at home? Hang your equipment in a public space (no doors) visual/audial access to the coaches office and shower at home. Locker rooms are like a lord of the flies islands. They suck for middle school girls too. Nothing this extreme, but not a place you want to be either.

I remember there being double doors to our MS locker room. The coach would stand with the interior door open and checking off names on the roster and telling us to hurry up. Of course there were no showers because it was middle school. I did dance team in high school and we had 10-15 minutes of unsupervised locker time. No showers, no major issues that I recall over the four years.

[JDAZ11]

Sayreville locker rooms and assault

In high school the only real function of the locker room was for us to change before practice and games - and to have access to additional storage space for the season. The hockey girls did use it to shower before school because they had 5am practice. But I'm not sure where you would have space to change without the locker room.

In college it would have been a big deal not to have locker rooms. We usually showered after practice because we went straight to the dining hall (it closed 20min after we got there). We also showered after away games - some times it was a pretty long (4hrs at times) ride back to school.

We actually had very huge locker rooms in high school and there were at least three offices in the front section of the locker room. One was for a female gym teacher, one was for one of the athletic trainers, and I can't remember who else was in there. Idk. Maybe it's just very different with girls, but I can't even imagine there being an issue in the locker rooms I grew up using.

[SoonerTexan]

I dunno. For any sport that requires an intense practice before or during school, not showering is a game changer

[ladymoreta]

This just makes me sick, thinking about it happening to my babies. I am just ready to say put them all in prison. Come down really hard on any and every hazing incident and maybe, just maybe, hazing will go away.

[diggitydot]

We usually had a PE teacher or coach in the office of the locker room and that office had windows. She could see enough to know if shit was going down.

[Thirteen]

We usually had a PE teacher or coach in the office of the locker room and that office had windows. She could see enough to know if shit was going down.

This was ours as well.


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[scarlett09]

I read an anonymous mother reported digital penetration and then forcing their fingers into their mouths afterwards.

Yes this. It is what is being reported in the major papers here. No one is disputing these allegations, so unfortunately they might actually be true.

It's all over the news and talk radio here. Lots of discussion ranging from these nuts who are pissed the season was cancelled to whether these juveniles will be tried as adults to the culpability of the coaching staff. So many layers to this, and I am sad/angry for the victims. I also wonder how many of the perps were victims themselves because I truly believe it's been going on longer than this season.



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[Ladybug]

Too bad they didn't bite their fingers off. I think it's been going on for a long time too. You don't just suddenly start doing something like that. The coaches are responsible for their safety. I truly hold them accountable.

[spaz]

Interesting. I haven't heard of this at all, but probably because it happened up North and I'm down South. Yet another reason to homeschool.

[mommax3]

It happened here a few years ago with some kids from *the* school system, north of Indianapolis. Since we are in the midwest, it didn't make the national news. I don't think it is an uncommon occurrence....which doesn't make it less wrong.

[Pollyanna]

Interesting. I haven't heard of this at all, but probably because it happened up North and I'm down South. Yet another reason to homeschool.

It's a huge national news story, interesting that you haven't seen it.

Our kids have not experienced anything horrific in the locker rooms but I could totally see it be an issue if it is okayed by the adults. Looking the other way means it's okay imho. I think suspending the season and greeting a zero tolerance policy can go a very long way. I think the boys that were the aggressors need a lot of help, I would wager years of treatment and monitoring. And of course the victims as well. I'd probably fire the entire football coaching staff to make a point. Maybe that's a bit rough but there has to be responsibility on the part of the adults to develop these boys into respectful young men (or at least make the attempt).

Eta: removing the showers is not an option here as lots of teams practice before school and during first period. Seriously, you want the football players and wrestlers showered, you really do