Porno

[SoonerTexan]

Sorry I meant to say "without"

[houseelf]

Hmm...I see both sides of it. I'm sort of middle of the road on this one.

I feel like there is a place for soft porn in a free society. Sexuality is a part of humanity and has a place for expression. The problem, as always, is where the hell is that line and who can regulate it? Should Government be in the business of regulating what is acceptable erotica and what is porn? Should we cede this right as well?

Personally, I generally only like the kind where the woman doesn't seem disassociated from her body and seems to be having a good time and where the actors have attractive but not weird, exaggerations of the human form. In short, I guess that tends to be the porn-for-women category. I have a strong visceral response to some of the aggressive scenes even if the female actress is only acting and it is clearly fantasy. It's just disturbing to me.

I compare porn to junk food. Every diet has room for a little bit of junk food and it keeps things interesting. The problem is that we have become a porn culture. It's ubiquitous. Additionally, as others have mentioned, it does has an exploitation side. Many, many people have porn addictions and it affects their ability to be intimate and live healthy, functional lives. Another applicable comparison is the partying aspect of college. Many, many kids will binge drink and yet eventually go on to have great lives free from addiction. Statistically speaking, however, this time also represents many alcoholic's gateway into a lifelong addiction. The problem is that you don't know which group you fall into. For some, a little porn becomes a big problem before you can control it.

I'm in the middle on this one!

[Sheherezade]

Honestly I don't understand how porn cannot exist with exploitation on some level. That pretty much sums of my view.

I agree with ST. It doesn't freak me out and I wouldn't throw someone out for consuming porn, but I think using it perpetuates a bad system. And yes, there is a lot of exploitation involved and people/consumers looking the other way to not assume any responsibility.


Angie

[ladymoreta]

I've never had much interest in watching it. The closest I've watched is Zach and Miri Make a Porno, which I thought was pretty cute. I know DH has watched porn before, but I don't think its something regular. I've read 50 Shades of Grey and a couple other erotic novels. So I guess I'm pretty ambivalent, but the potential exploitation bothers me, too.

[GrayMatterWife]

Maybe this sounds odd coming from our resident amateur pole dancer, but porn is not part of our relationship. It's not that I am a prude and I don't judge other people for using it. I don't think the use of it is "un-Christian" or morally corrupt or something like that. We don't use it form two reasons (aside from I don't want it in the house with kids here):

First, I was exposed to quite a bit of porn in high school--my boyfriends all watched it--and now it just kind of depresses me. I don't find it stimulating. Maybe I am incredibly weird. I can watch it and never be even remotely turned on. I just had bad experiences (at 15, I got the feeling that the boy I was with watched porn because I was "not enough"). I find a really compelling love story in a book or a movie a lot more exciting because I connect with the emotions than the visual. Nothing makes me want my husband more than to see in a great love story some tiny reflection of our own story.

In addition, my husband and I both are of the opinion that--like many other forms of stimuli--it can "re-wire" the pleasure pathways of the brain, at least for some people, so that it becomes increasingly more difficult to obtain stimulation and pleasure from non-porn experiences. We have known several marriages that collapsed due to one partner's excessive use of porn. One guy was just flat-out addicted--hours and hours and hours a day, lost his job, and so forth. I am not saying that this happens to everyone, or even a lot of people. But just knowing a few people who have been affected this way makes you really cautious.

I try to be my husband's "porn" as much as possible, although--I know, I know--that is totally not really "porn." But, guys are especially visual, and I want his experience to be as fulfilling as possible. Hence, the pole. Haha! (For you newer members, several years ago I took a series of pole-dancing classes. I ended up becoming pretty good! I had to practice quite a bit, so I had a pole installed in our old condo. My son was very young and had no idea what it was. The pole is now in storage...)

[DrBandMe]

How does everyone feel about simple 'chick flicks'?

I think, in a lot of ways, that romantic movies are just a female version of porn in that it often leads to irrational expectations of how relationships 'should' be or leave us wanting our man to be more romantic like in the movies.

When I was a teenager and way naive about relationships, this was a struggle for me. As if I expected my man to be willing to freeze in the cold ocean waters for me just like Jack did for Rose. Haha.

Just wondering what you all think about this spin on "porn".

[spaz]

I don't watch the chick flicks either. I think the same thing goes for romance novels: secular or Christian. I've certainly never read Shades of Gray.. The only person I want images of or want to expect anything from is my husband. I really don't want to be seeing anyone else in my head. I only want to fantasize about my husband. I also don't want to be dis-satisfied with my husband by unrealistic expectations...

[ladymoreta]

DrBandMe, that's a really good point. I think stories like The Notebook are much more likely to enter my fantasies than porn ever would. I don't watch or read a whole lot of them, mainly because there are so many bad (poor quality) ones out there.

[bobk]

How does everyone feel about simple 'chick flicks'?

I think, in a lot of ways, that romantic movies are just a female version of porn in that it often leads to irrational expectations of how relationships 'should' be or leave us wanting our man to be more romantic like in the movies.

When I was a teenager and way naive about relationships, this was a struggle for me. As if I expected my man to be willing to freeze in the cold ocean waters for me just like Jack did for Rose. Haha.

Just wondering what you all think about this spin on "porn".

I agree. I think rom-coms can affect guys too, but very few of us would admit that.

I find it amusing that the porn label can be applied to any form of media that creates unrealistic expectations of reality for people. My favorite is "home decor porn" to describe magazines like Southern Living and Better Homes & Gardens.

[spaz]

I find it amusing that the porn label can be applied to any form of media that creates unrealistic expectations of reality for people. My favorite is "home decor porn" to describe magazines like Southern Living and Better Homes & Gardens.

I'm not sure I would call it porn... However, yep totally unrealistic.. No one lives there... That gorgeous white couch wouldn't last 15 minutes with my 3 children. I recently visited a home that looked like many of the magazines and it was the coldest place I had ever been. It is obvious that no one actually lives there. The parents are high powered people and are gone most of the day and evening. I'm not sure even the coffee pot was used. The children are cared for by the grandmother and spend time at her house until the parents get home ( or spend the night if they are traveling) There were hardly any photos, just absolutely gorgeous antiques. To each his own, I guess, but I want a place we can live in and not worry about messing things up.

[rainbabies]

Food p0rn. 😋😋😋

[BonBon]

Food p0rn. 😋😋😋

I'm all over that. In fact, I just bought a cookbook this morning that I'll probably never use, but the pictures were pretty!!

Sent from my SM-N900V using Tapatalk

[MsSassyBaskets]

I would just like to say that this is the only forum I've seen where people don't get all crankypants at you for going on wild tangents off topic, and I love that about this place.

I also wanted to jump back in and say... I think it is POSSIBLE for actual porn to be made that isn't exploitative and that can be viewed in a non-harmful way by consenting adults. I agree with many of you that that's not the way a lot of it happens, and there's a lot about both the production and consumption sides that are problematic, but I don't think it has to be that way.

[ballibeg]

Women are beautiful. I like pictures and photos which you could describe as artistic but the lack of clothes probably puts them somewhere on the pornographic scale. DW doesn't mind and will send me photos of images she sees. Watched one film with DW years ago which did more to scare us both than encourage!

[SoonerTexan]

I love home decor porn...I know the house with small children truly did not have concrete blocks as coffee tables Southern Living