A neurosurgeon marries a teacher...

[PrincessFiona]

They are married for fourteen years and have no children. During this time together, they acquire a beautiful, beautiful house, a cabin which is as ridiculously gorgeous as their actual house, drive two luxury vehicles and put away a good amount of money in savings and retirement.

He has an affair. She files for divorce.

What is she entitled too?


This is a real 'case' but I've changed the specialty to not accidentally identify someone.

DH and his peers are busy debating what she is "entitled" to. The majority of docs (including female docs) feel she is not entitled to 50% because she had a teacher's salary and he had a neurosurgeon's salary and therefore he was able to contribute more money on a percentage basis to their savings and retirement etc.

I'm appalled. I feel like they were married ... marriage is a 50/50 proposition ... they were saving together and she was supporting him. I can't see any other solution than a 50/50 dissolution of the marriage.


Kris

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I say 50/50 at first blush. I guess my only follow-up question is when were they married? If they married AFTER residency and he paid all his own debt and she never supported him at all financially, I can see slightly lower (like 40/60 with 40 for her) but if they were married for any part of training, she fully deserves half.

But the law says half of whatever was accrued during the marriage, right?

[medpedspouse]

Depends. If part of those 14 years, she was supporting him while in training...YKWIM - as in doing every f-ing thing and scrimping so he can follow his dream, I say 50/50 for-evah! He is the one that had the affair. She could be a total bitch but if she made sure he had clean underwear, fed his ass, made sure his utilities were paid for, and put up with the med life, she deserves 50. Hell, she could have been making way more than a teacher if someone had supported her through her training and she now had her Ed.D/Ph.D.

Now, if he had done all that by himself and she came along afterwards, I might say less than 50%.

[GrayMatterWife]

I see this as a purely legal question. What she is entitled to is determined by any prenup or, if no prenup, by state law. In many states, the assets are divided 50/50, with no entitlement by either to alimony. But these are for "no fault" cases. Fault cases--for example, where adultery or abandonment or fraud or abuse--may be a different matter, it is my understand. But I think we have a couple of marital law attorneys here. They'd be able to give better insight.

I don't see this as a moral issue. Property division is a legal issue. If the high-earning doc is pissed because she gets 50%, too damn bad for him. Know the law better and protect yourself better.

[medpedspouse]

Oh for sure it is a legal issue. If she were in TX, it would be half of whatever they have now (only assets). With no kids, no child support and there is no alimony.

However, if we are talking what she is entitled to in a perfect world of fairness and unicorns...I stand by what I said.

[alotofyarn]

I agree with half of everything they had - marriage is 50/50, and just because he earned more than she did during that time doesn't mean it was his. He wasn't contributing to just "his" life expenses and retirement, he was contributing to theirs. That's how I see a marriage anyway, but I know there are families out there who only allow the spouses to spend a certain percentage of their contribution to the family income. I don't think she should be entitled to future earnings though to maintain the lifestyle to which she may have become accustomed. So, she shouldn't keep the house if she can't pay the mortgage, etc.

I do agree with T&S though that there could be some complicating factors depending on when in the process they got married, and if he had a lot done before then, she is not necessarily entitled to all of it.

[Ladybug]

50% of marital assists gained while married. 50% of any debt too though...

[JDAZ11]

i see this as a purely legal question. What she is entitled to is determined by any prenup or, if no prenup, by state law. In many states, the assets are divided 50/50, with no entitlement by either to alimony. But these are for "no fault" cases. Fault cases--for example, where adultery or abandonment or fraud or abuse--may be a different matter, it is my understand. But i think we have a couple of marital law attorneys here. They'd be able to give better insight.

I don't see this as a moral issue. Property division is a legal issue. If the high-earning doc is pissed because she gets 50%, too damn bad for him. Know the law better and protect yourself better.

this!

[DrBandMe]

I agree with everything everyone is saying. Regardless of profession, 50/50. (Excluding a pre-nup). I can see why your hubby and associates.may be prickly and think otherwise but (as I assume a lot of us can relate to) I can see the wife's side to take more, too! For me, marriage is more than money. He mau have contributed more financially but I'd be willing to bet she contributed more to the house work, bill paying, errand running, keeping his life going side of things. All that adds up...50/50.

[HouseofWool]

Dude needs to keep his dick in his pants, not someone else's.

She will likely be entitled to a handsome alimony amount.

[diggitydot]

Basic family law. 50/50 sans prenup.

[medpedspouse]

Dude needs to keep his dick in his pants, not someone else's.

She will likely be entitled to a handsome alimony amount.

In my state, she is not entitled to alimony.

[PrincessFiona]

The basic legality here is that it will be 50/50. There's an actual mini-uproar over it though with the docs believing he's being taken to the cleaners and she only "deserves" to take the percentage out of the marriage that she contributed. The big issue settles around retirement and my understanding is that she is entitled to 50% of what they put away during the time of the marriage. The argument is that she should only get the percentage that she was able to put in. The other big thing is property. Because he earned more, they bought bigger homes. The idea is she isn't entitled to half.

They met after training, but I'm not sure that matters in my eyes.

Kris

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

A neurosurgeon marries a teacher...

In NY, if she supported during med school, she gets part of the degree's value (he's still in training and they do not have a ton in assets). My friend just went through the (very expensive) valuation process. Depending on the state (and absent a pre-nup or post-nup) it's usually 50/50 or "equitable" division based on their individual circumstances, etc. 14 years is long enough to get temporary alimony in most states.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I love when people who put their dicks in other people feel entitled...