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Fight it/Don't fight it

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  • Fight it/Don't fight it

    Another interesting thing going on with someone that I know.

    Her parents divorced when she was a young adult and her dad remarried. Her dad and his new wife then moved several states away and she saw him less often. She reports that they had always had a close relationship before the new marriage.

    Anyway, her dad died recently. In his will, everything was left to his new wife. The new wife has adult children of her own and she split pieces of the inheritance with them. She has offered nothing to my friend, who is heartbroken at her father's death and is confused that everything rolled over to his new wife.

    She is considering looking into some sort of legal action.

    I've said nothing about it. I sort of feel like her dad had the choice to put her in the will and he didn't. It was his choice/oversight. I can't imagine that she would have any legal legs to stand on. I know I'd feel hurt in a similar situation though.

    Kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    Fighting it is not going to heal the hurt.

    Comment


    • #3
      I agree. I tried to encourage her to let it go in the most gentle way I could. I would be angry if I was in her shoes though too.
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        Does she have a copy of the will? When is it dated? If its dated near the end of his life when he wasn't himself she might have a case. But if its dated when he was himself I'm not sure what she would accomplish. Is she an only child by the first marriage? I'm assuming she doesn't get along with the step-mom or her kids? I agree with gem, fighting it isn't going to heal anything.

        But I can see how she would be upset.
        Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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        • #5
          She is an only child, and this is the most recent version of his will, Cheri. She has concerns about how his wife manipulated him and had those concerns for awhile.
          ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
          ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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          • #6
            I'm in no way an attorney but my gut would tell me that unless she found an independent 3rd party that also thought/knew he was being manipulated she's probably not going to be able to prove anything.
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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            • #7
              Is there anything in particular she would like of her father's? Would the wife be open at all to talking with her? Or maybe one of the siblings?
              Tara
              Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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              • #8
                I agree that fighting it probably won't get her anywhere. That's so sad for her, though. I can't imagine leaving my kids out of my will, knowing the hurt it would leave behind.
                Laurie
                My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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                • #9
                  This is totally going to happen to my brother and me. My dad sent me his will last week (he's 10 years older than stepmom) and it all goes to her and then to us through her will (or to us if she's deceased). He says "she's never questioned that" and I'm like, I'm sure she hasn't because right now would be ill timed for her to do so.

                  What did he die of? Can she ask his physician about his mental capacities at his passing?
                  Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
                  Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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