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The Post-Bedtime Ritual of Successful Working Parents

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  • #1

    The Post-Bedtime Ritual of Successful Working Parents

    A friend shared this on FB, and I really liked it. I leave work at 3 every day so that I can spend time with E before we do dinner, bath, and bedtime at 7. After that, I try to work at home a bit more for a couple of hours. I don't always - sometimes I just want to watch TV, knit, edit photos, or surf the Internet. I love my job because I have this option though. I'm sure people just know that I leave early every day and refuse to schedule or attend meetings after 3 and think I'm lazy though.

    http://www.fastcompany.com/3038542/s...orking-parents
    Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer
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  • #2
    This is an interesting article to me. It is really how my entire adult life has been as a parent when I have worked.

    When I was getting my MS I made sure to be home after preschool to go to the park, have dinner, do baths and bedtime .... then I went back to the lab at night.
    When I taught at the University, I did all of my lab prep at night....teaching during the day with family sandwiched in the middle.

    When I worked on my books (LOL, my books) I wrote in the am when they were at school and at night after bed.

    Even now as a graduate student yet again, my work is interrupted by family. I do all studying during the day, completely devote myself to family the second they come home on the school bus and then revisit assignments/writing after bedtime. Once the kids are in bed, dh is also on my radar as someone I'm responsible to.

    I always found this option hard because a lot of time people don't appreciate the amount of work you are doing. In the lab or at the University, facetime is golden. I might have been working my tail off but if my boss wasn't there to see it because he was at home with his family, all he saw was me leaving at 2:30. The whole 10pm-3am thing alluded him. My PI in grad school asked me repeatedly "when did you run this? You're never here." I was always there ... just on off hours.

    Sorry for the tangent.

    Kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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    • #3
      Very good topic! I think it's great that there are a lot of jobs with a split shift option. Our country is way overdue for some better options for dual-income families, and I think that's a really good solution for letting parents take care of daytime tasks like classroom volunteering, appointments, or just having a little extra time with their kids.
      Laurie
      My team: DH (anesthesiologist), DS (9), DD (8)

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      • #4
        I have such a love/hate relationship with this model. It is so darn hard to log back in to work after the kids go to bed. I just want to read! have a hobby! watch a movie! SLEEP! But on the other hand, there is no other way I could work full time. I am really grateful to have a job that is flexible enough that I can pick the kids up in the afternoon, never miss dinner, go to all the doctor/dentist appointments, etc.

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        • #5
          I totally agree, gem, which is why I do take nights off! I'm not as productive right now as I probably should be or have been in the past, but I've decided I'm OK with that. My mentor told me that some years you really shine, some years you just keep up, and these are my keep up years, which I'm happily exchanging for more quality time with my family.
          Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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          • #6
            Sounds very familiar. I'm not doing it as much now since I'm expected to be working from home Friday's again vs my flex schedule. It works but I don't find it sustainable long term
            Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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            • #7
              Originally posted by alotofyarn View Post
              I totally agree, gem, which is why I do take nights off! I'm not as productive right now as I probably should be or have been in the past, but I've decided I'm OK with that. My mentor told me that some years you really shine, some years you just keep up, and these are my keep up years, which I'm happily exchanging for more quality time with my family.
              Yes, that's a great perspective. I've accepted that I'm not going to shine during these years, and that's allowed me to keep the laptop closed unless there is something I must finish.

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