I think this mom is awful

[PrincessFiona]

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-time-i...ning-my-child/


Since when is putting your kid out of the car and driving off even for ten minutes to teach them a lesson okay? She wants to raise her kids without fear? I think she missed the mark.

This kind of behavior is neglect in my book.


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[MrsK]

Eh, my mom had done that. It was pretty common when I was growing up. But I think she's awful for other reasons. Her lack of respect and flippant attitude undermine her message.

[Pollyanna]

I'm with you Kris.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

She doesn't know what she wants. She wants him to fear her and have respect but then she says "I don't want him to grow up afraid". You're making him afraid by abandoning him! I just feel like there are better ways to get a kid to listen then terrify them. That teaches them that I will LEAVE you if you don't listen to me which will only produce fear obedience, not actual good choices.

[GrayMatterWife]

I don't have a problem with what she did--my parents certainly did that to me when I was a mouthy kid. My issue is that her attitude. She is just nasty and snarky. Yeah, we all get it: you don't care what other people think. You are a hard-ass parent. You are also incredibly unpleasant.

[MrsC]

I couldn't even get through it all because of her attitude. My Mom certainly threatened to do this but never did. It's a bit much.

[ladymoreta]

I don't have a problem with what she did--my parents certainly did that to me when I was a mouthy kid. My issue is that her attitude. She is just nasty and snarky. Yeah, we all get it: you don't care what other people think. You are a hard-ass parent. You are also incredibly unpleasant.

This. I imagine the poor kid is growing up very confused with the Jekyll & Hyde mom antics, and now he's dealing with her inability to process the CPS situation.

[scrub-jay]

I think this mom is awful

I'm with GMW, this woman's attitude is the problem. But honestly, I'm just sick of living in a society that focuses so much energy on analyzing and judging other parenting styles. I can't say that a parent is "awful" based on one example. I'm sure I do things differently than every other mother on here too, maybe I'm an awful mom. I've heard a SAHM mom (literally) confide in me that she feels WOHMs are emotionally damaging their kids because they aren't around enough. She was shocked that I vehemently disagreed.

[rufflesanddots]

It bothered me that she was so flippant about police intervention and CPS. Those are two extremely necessary services for child abuse investigation, and she made each seem totally inept. She also pointed to her clean house and full fridge as "obvious" signs of a safe home. Yeah right, like middle-class kids who eat organic produce are never abused... Her sense of entitlement was nauseating.

[medpedspouse]

I do not think she is awful. From reading her words, she comes across as a very scared individual. I can understand why if heroin is prevalent in her neighborhood/the school and she is on her own to try to make sure her son does not go down that path. Her hardass tone/descriptions are annoying because it sounds like she is still struggling with that role and is trying to convince herself that she really is a hardass.

BTW, I have a friend that did something similar to her son when he was in middle school. She was upset because kid got a 70 in a class and she knew that such was not his best effort. Kid mouthed off that 70% is passing and that if it is good enough for the school, it should be good enough for her. My friend did not say a word but that evening only let him have 70% of dinner. That kept on throughout the week. She also only gave him 70% of his allowance. Still, he did not notice. So, on the ride to school in upstate NY (in winter mind you) she stopped part way to the school and told him to get out. Kid was whining that it was snowing. She told him that it was 70% of the way and that if 70% is good enough for him, it is good enough for her. Yes, she made him walk the rest of the way and yes, her son finally got it.

[peggyfromwastate]

When I read that essay on Facebook I imagined my kids who sometimes get mouthy in the car, and I imagined what would happen and how would they react if I told them to get out of the car and I drove off. Terrified. My kids would be terrified. And not in a "oh I should not have mouthed off I'm so sorry" way but a "my mom would leave me in some strip mall because I sassed."

It's all about finding a consequence that has to do with the crime. Mouthing off-- loss of privileges I guess. But I don't see how abandonment is a fit punishment.

As far as society getting overly involved in parenting situations, I would definitely have called 911 if I saw a 10 year old crying hysterically on the sidewalk of a strip mall. Especially if he said his mom just left him there. Once the Good Samaritan calls 911, the police had to follow up.

Different areas vary in their laws-- in some places kids can't be home alone in their own homes until they are 12 or so.

I think she was awful and her choice in punishment was illogical and dangerous. She assumed he would be safe bc it looked safe there. But what if he tried to go home? Go back to school? Go to a friend's house? She couldn't see him for 10 min then drove back to pick him up...

[MsSassyBaskets]

I think this woman had poor examples of parenting and discipline herself (she mentioned her mother hit her), and has failed to learn from that experience and break the cycle. I grew up with fear based, authoritarian parenting and I just don't believe it works. Making your kids afraid of you doesn't limit itself to that one situation. In a kid's mind it's not "I shouldn't mouth off because then my mom gets scary" it's just "mom is scary". That's sad.

I didn't think she was awful... Mostly I just felt sad for her and her kid that that's their reality.

[v-girl]

She needs some parenting classes. Poor kid.


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[Deebs]

I always wonder if her blog is things she's actually done, or just thinks of and then doesn't actually do (kind of like me considering washing out my kid's mouth with soap, but I've never actually done it). Maybe that's just me being hopeful. I have many mommy thoughts that are horrible, but make me chuckle, and then move on with the tough parts of the mommy job. It makes for a blog that prompts discussion, facebook posting, and blog readership.


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[medpedspouse]

I do not understand why you guys think she is awful. Her poor choice in disciplining her child may be awful...but how do you know she is awful?