Type A moms

[MrsK]

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7817764

So, this article struck a nerve. In her defense of SAHMs, she puts down "Type A" moms and suggests we do not provide a nurturing, warm, flexible environment that is essential for our kids' development. Thoughts? I'm a Type A mom. Is it really that bad? Should I just let the laundry pile up, never leave the house, and spend every day building forts in the living room?

[MsSassyBaskets]

Bizarre mommier-than-thou clickbait bullshit. What a bunch of tired stereotypes and assumptions.

[scrub-jay]

Bizarre mommier-than-thou clickbait bullshit. What a bunch of tired stereotypes and assumptions.

Word.

[SoonerTexan]

I dunno...I didn't really read anything controversial there. I saw it as a defense of one type of SAHM parenting, not necessarily criticizing another


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[MrsK]

I dunno...I didn't really read anything controversial there. I saw it as a defense of one type of SAHM parenting, not necessarily criticizing another


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See, as a Type A Mom reading it, I really felt like she was overstating her defense. As in if "good moms have sticky floors and happy kids," logically "bad moms have clean floors and unhappy kids." I really didn't see her saying that there is a whole alphabet mothering styles and Type A, Type B, Type C or whatever moms are all good moms.

[SoonerTexan]

Sorry, I'm really not seeing it. She specifically says that she is discussing a certain subset of SAHMs in the context of couples she sees in her clinical practice. She says she is a Type A mom
Herself. Heck, I'm more on the type A side. I can see how you could infer that she is saying Type A moms are bad from this, but I really think she is just saying they are different. Honestly the whole article is pretty forgettable and obvious to me


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[MrsC]

I dunno...I didn't really read anything controversial there. I saw it as a defense of one type of SAHM parenting, not necessarily criticizing another


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Same here. She said it was more difficult for type A personalities, she didn't say they were bad at it.

ETA - Although I don't like the assumption that type B moms have a dirty house. I keep my floors clean

It didn't really tell me much, a lot of generalizations.

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[MrsK]

She literally says "Being a good housekeeper and organizer is often incompatible with being a good SAHM, by today's definition," "If your wife is a devoted SAHM, she is playing pretend, making crafts, and preparing veggies for your kid's snack. She therefore doesn't have the time that your own mom had to make three wonderful meals per day for a family of five, vacuum the house top to bottom daily, and get the laundry done," and "SAHMing works best for people who go with the flow." I mean, I'm a good housekeeper and organizer. I don't go with the flow. I cook and clean AND I play pretend, make crafts, prepare healthy snacks. So that means I'm not a "devoted" SAHM? Having clean laundry is incompatiable with being a good mother?

By no means am I saying that someone HAS to cook and clean to be a good SAHM but I don't think it's fair to say that because someone *does* cook and clean that they are not a devoted mothers or that they fail to provide a calm, warm, flexible environment for their children.

[Pollyanna]

Sorry, I'm really not seeing it. She specifically says that she is discussing a certain subset of SAHMs in the context of couples she sees in her clinical practice. She says she is a Type A mom
Herself. Heck, I'm more on the type A side. I can see how you could infer that she is saying Type A moms are bad from this, but I really think she is just saying they are different. Honestly the whole article is pretty forgettable and obvious to me


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Completely agree with this. It's a yawner. Nothing to get worked up about or see here. Heck, she points out that she herself is type A, so it certainly doesn't fall in the mommier than thou category.

[v-girl]

Maybe she's trying to make us Type B moms feel better about the pile of clean clothes that didn't get put away and the clean dishes still sitting in the dishwasher.


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[MrsK]

Maybe she's trying to make us Type B moms feel better about the pile of clean clothes that didn't get put away and the clean dishes still sitting in the dishwasher.


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If course she is. And there's nothing wrong with being a Type B mom....or any other type provided that your children are loved and cared for.

[ladymoreta]

I agree that it's nothing new. I can tell it hit a nerve with you, but you are a great mom. If it helps, I'm a mom with a messy house who doesn't love playing with the kids either. LOL I'm useless! (For the record, I do play with them, but I'm definitely not the type who loves it.)

[Ladybug]

The older my kids get the more I see the value of learning how to organize and clean up after yourself to function successfully in group settings/living situations. Some days I have the energy to fight that uphill battle with my kids, some days I just don't. Behavior that might be cute as a toddler...not so much as an adult, employee or spouse.

[OrionGrad]

I'm completely Type A, and I'll admit I'm probably not the best baby mom. Playing with the toddler is just easier for me (in part because DS1 likes to "help out" by cleaning up, which is a win/win).
I totally see what you're saying about the article, [MENTION=1498]MrsK[/MENTION], but I think everyone else is right that it wasn't written to put anyone down intentionally.

[WolfpackWife]

As a non-parent, I get that I probably don't fully know what I'm talking about, but I kind of see her point. I don't know if I would describe myself as "Type A" necessarily, but I certainly don't fit the Type B laid back/go-with-the-flow bill either. And I've told my husband before that I REEEEALLY want to try to be that person when/if we have kids because it just seems like it's...I don't know...better? Less stressful? for the kids. I am a product of my mom - an incredibly devoted, organized, loving, supportive, epitome of SAHM. But my god is she anxious. She parented/ran the household with anxiety and rigidity (and I don't mean that in a bad way - I just can't think of a better way to word it) and a need for things to be just so (not necessarily in an OCD way though, I don't think I'm explaining this well...). I think it definitely shaped me into someone who is pretty anxious and isn't very laid back. Probably part of that was just in my make up anyway, but...she's pretty high stress and I do think it helped steer me towards being the same way. Sure she did all sorts of crafts and playing etc...but that was balanced (sometimes not well) with all of the cleanliness/household stuff that needed to be done right then/to her standards and, I don't know...maybe I'd have more ability to truly be a laid back parent someday because that's what I had. Just my two cents - probably because I read it and was like "ugh I see her point. I want to be that relaxed mom but I know I'll be the anxious mom."