I agree with all of this. I worked in a very male dominated field (engineering). Once we had kids I really had to pull back because DH couldn't help out. I quit staying late and had to take days off when the kids were sick. One of my male coworkers really wanted to take time off with his third kid after his wife's maternity leave was done. It would have worked out so that they would have had someone home with their kids all summer and he had done it under another employer with his second and really liked the bonding time. He didn't end up doing it because three of the four women in our office including me were pregnant and taking leave back to back right around the same time. I think he was pressured by the company not to do it. I never felt under paid in comparison to my male counterparts but I also worked very hard while I was there. I really struggled though with trying to balance being a good employee and good mom. The president of our company was a very sexist guy who made jokes like he was going to stop hiring women because they keep getting pregnant and taking time off (unpaid). Funnily enough though after my second maternity leave they gave me a sizable raise when I came back because they said they realized how much I did. That felt nice, but sadly it was right before we matched and moved across the country and I gave up my career because it was what was best for our family.
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