How easy is it for you to talk with someone with a different political belief?

[PrincessFiona]

I consider myself to be an independent. I have voted republican, Democrat, and for independent parties. I love hearing what people’s views are, particularly if they differ from my own. It gives me more empathy and understanding for where that person is coming from. Sometimes my mind has been changed. I know I’ve made my father aware of and more tolerant for social issues he was once very opposed to. Listening helps us find middle ground.

It seems like that is not possible anymore. Both parties are made up of rabid extremists and its nearly impossible to just talk. I have recently been called a racist, sexist and a liberal socialist. How is namecalling helpful?

I have hidden everyone on my FB now who spouts our political stuff whether on the right or the left. I’m much less inclined to express my feelings anymore. To my leftist friends, I’m a deplorable. To my friends in the right, I’m a socialist. Where is the middle?


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[Amy]

I feel very similar to you on this. Its actually one reason I got rid of Facebook! I honestly can say I am very open minded to both sides of view. Maybe some would say that makes me wishy washy and if I don't "pick sides" then shame on me. But I like to keep an open mind about everything. People gather views from their life experiences and no one knows another's life story. So it seems that keeping an open mind is the only way. There are things that I am strongly in favor of in both sides. And if you were to tell me why you disagree, then you probably could sway me to see your point. My FB friends probably couldn't ever figure out WHAT I "was" because I would post and like things on both. Some of my favorite best friends in the world have totally different points of view as me, but with a lovely, calm conversation it just made me love them the more and respect them more!!!!

[Vanquisher]

For me, I’ve gone completely hard left here, and there is no middle ground. I’m lucky enough to have the privilege that no matter which party is elected, I’m a white woman, married to a white man. I was born in the United States. Both of us have graduate degrees and jobs that afford us financial security and a good life.

People of color do not have this luxury. Immigrants do not have this luxury. LGBTQA people do not have this luxury, including my daughter and her friends.

So, while individuals may have good hearts and good intentions, they hold up a party that is regularly trying to malign these people. They support policies that make the rich richer, the poor poorer, and the middle class is going away. They deny basic rights and dignity to people. Black young men are being murdered for existing and incarcerated at levels beyond those of whites for minor crimes.

Districts are being gerrymandered and voting rights are being taken from disadvantaged people.

Democracy is being dismantled in favor or autocratic nightmare platforms.

So, I have lost friends, I guess, but I guess I’d rather stand up for what is right than be complacent and comfortable.

I’d rather say something and offend someone and have them think I’m an asshole rather than have my child not be able to openly love and marry who she wants. I’d rather make someone uncomfortable than be okay with mass shootings. I’d rather challenge someone’s thinking and make it harder for myself than to watch as more and more black children are killed because they are black and for no other reason. They are killed because they exist in black skin. How is any of this okay?

This is just a small, small, tiny part of the problem with the Republican Party platforms. I just have to wonder how much I can be friends with or want to be friends with anyone who stands on the backs of other’s oppression and says, “the view is fine from up here. Why is everyone so mad? Fighting is terrible!”

So, I’ll fight. I have the privilege to ignore it, but I choose not to.

[alotofyarn]

I don't discuss politics at all. I don't feel like any of the parties represent me well, and I'm tired of the hatred and ugliness on both sides.

[spotty_dog]

I'm a quiet person. I listen, I think, I see things from the other person's point of view as best I can, and if I speak up, I speak in simple and hopefully inarguable statements. I learned that here, after I used to rant and make general attacks without heeding my audience, and caused offense and hurt.

But on the other hand, like Heidi, I'm realizing that on some things it's not okay to stay comfortably silent while others around you are being hurt by terrible policies and divisive politics. I'm trying to work on speaking up and letting people around me know that yes, I have a generally liberal and progressive attitude, and yes, I'm going to call you out if you're going to support racist and anti-equality platforms and candidates and legislation.

At least...on the internet I am. To be completely honest, I still went out to dinner with my friend's super conservative husband this week, and still kept my mouth shut when my robotics co-coach made a political comment at our practice (the 11-12 year old kids were voting on their team name, and he instructed them, "Only one vote per person, we're not trying to be Democrats here,") and only rolled my eyes at a board meeting when the president of the club joked about some Vietnamese players by using a stereotypical fake Chinese accent. At least he was chagrined when his wife glared at him, but yeah.

Just today I was looking for a quote about changing people's minds ("People don't change their ideas, much less their lives, because someone comes along with a clever argument to show that they're wrong. As a way of making real and deep changes in society, this shouting and arguing is mostly a waste of time," John Holt) but instead found another ("You can't make a dog happy by forcibly wagging its tail. And you can't change people's minds by utterly refuting their arguments," Jonathan Haidt) and now I've reserved the book "The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion." I think it looks really interesting.

[Vanquisher]

I'm a quiet person. I listen, I think, I see things from the other person's point of view as best I can, and if I speak up, I speak in simple and hopefully inarguable statements. I learned that here, after I used to rant and make general attacks without heeding my audience, and caused offense and hurt.

But on the other hand, like Heidi, I'm realizing that on some things it's not okay to stay comfortably silent while others around you are being hurt by terrible policies and divisive politics. I'm trying to work on speaking up and letting people around me know that yes, I have a generally liberal and progressive attitude, and yes, I'm going to call you out if you're going to support racist and anti-equality platforms and candidates and legislation.

At least...on the internet I am. To be completely honest, I still went out to dinner with my friend's super conservative husband this week, and still kept my mouth shut when my robotics co-coach made a political comment at our practice (the 11-12 year old kids were voting on their team name, and he instructed them, "Only one vote per person, we're not trying to be Democrats here,") and only rolled my eyes at a board meeting when the president of the club joked about some Vietnamese players by using a stereotypical fake Chinese accent. At least he was chagrined when his wife glared at him, but yeah.

Just today I was looking for a quote about changing people's minds ("People don't change their ideas, much less their lives, because someone comes along with a clever argument to show that they're wrong. As a way of making real and deep changes in society, this shouting and arguing is mostly a waste of time," John Holt) but instead found another ("You can't make a dog happy by forcibly wagging its tail. And you can't change people's minds by utterly refuting their arguments," Jonathan Haidt) and now I've reserved the book "The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion." I think it looks really interesting.

Oh absolutely! It’s way harder in person, and I’m not there yet either. I need to do better. At the same time, I am careful professionally. I don’t argue politics at work or defend my values. Ive definitely heard really terrible things that people say, and I don’t agree with them, but I don’t call them out either. I wish I were stronger.

I wish there was a way to change people’s minds with facts, and I knew how to persuade opinions. In the meantime, I just do a very minimum amount to say, “that orange monster in charge is not okay. Killing children is not okay. Separating families and keeping children in cages is not okay. Allowing people to go bankrupt because they have the audacity to be poor and not have health insurance when they end up with cancer is not okay. Sexual assault is not okay.”

Hoping for a blue wave....

[Windsurfer]

I consider myself to be an independent. I have voted republican, Democrat, and for independent parties. I love hearing what people’s views are, particularly if they differ from my own. It gives me more empathy and understanding for where that person is coming from. Sometimes my mind has been changed. I know I’ve made my father aware of and more tolerant for social issues he was once very opposed to. Listening helps us find middle ground.

It seems like that is not possible anymore. Both parties are made up of rabid extremists and its nearly impossible to just talk. I have recently been called a racist, sexist and a liberal socialist. How is namecalling helpful?

I have hidden everyone on my FB now who spouts our political stuff whether on the right or the left. I’m much less inclined to express my feelings anymore. To my leftist friends, I’m a deplorable. To my friends in the right, I’m a socialist. Where is the middle?


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I tend to engage on politics on FB, and have only stopped following a few extremists. I am sure there are those among my FB contacts who are convinced I am on the political right and others who at other times are convinced I am on the political left. I have this bad habit of calling BS on both sides but at different times. It irritates me to no end when people don't stick the issues at hand but instead make disparaging remarks about others with different opinions and question their motives -- or, worst still when someone tries to spread revisionist history to discredit the origins of some other group's views If I want to know where someone else's political beliefs come from, I'll get them to tell me themselves; otherwise it is just unsubstantiated, and usually untrue, gossip.

[SoonerTexan]

I'll rarely post about it on Facebook anymore, because it almost never leads to anything positive. I will discuss it in person with people who are willing to disagree without resorting to personal attacks. Those have been the most productive conversations that make really think about my position on something. Sometimes they influence me to rethink something. Sometimes I still feel I'm right. Either way, the other perspective is still worthwhile. Someone trying to shove something down my throat (from either political direction) has never done anything but make me avoid the person, consciously or subconsciously.

[PrincessFiona]

I'll rarely post about it on Facebook anymore, because it almost never leads to anything positive. I will discuss it in person with people who are willing to disagree without resorting to personal attacks. Those have been the most productive conversations that make really think about my position on something. Sometimes they influence me to rethink something. Sometimes I still feel I'm right. Either way, the other perspective is still worthwhile. Someone trying to shove something down my throat (from either political direction) has never done anything but make me avoid the person, consciously or subconsciously.

Conversations where my perspective is valued and there is a two-way conversation have changed my views on some things, or have at least given me a better understanding of the other point of view. People who call names and don’t listen are the biggest turn off.


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[Vishenka69]

For me the problem is not so much FB but our families. Or more specifically, older relatives. Both sets of parents are die hard Trumpist Republicans, as well as some more distant relatives over 40. I find myself having to explain grandparents' views to the kids. Completely cutting off ties is not an option. I want kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, however racist they are. We do our best to explain our liberal viewpoint. At least for now, our world view seems to make more sense to them.

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[PrincessFiona]

For me the problem is not so much FB but our families. Or more specifically, older relatives. Both sets of parents are die hard Trumpist Republicans, as well as some more distant relatives over 40. I find myself having to explain grandparents' views to the kids. Completely cutting off ties is not an option. I want kids to have a relationship with their grandparents, however racist they are. We do our best to explain our liberal viewpoint. At least for now, our world view seems to make more sense to them.

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My dad is so far right I think he has his head up Trump’s ass. My 23 and 22 year olds are diehard Bernie Sanders supporters. They argue politics via text message all the time. This is terrible, but I finally told them it’s important to understand my dad’s point of view so that they can manipulate him. I said it was terrible.


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[Pollyanna]

I have no issue with it. This Sunday my co-leader for the inclusion team at our church was debating with me women priests. We completely disagreed but we love each other and are both passionate about special needs kiddos, and to us, that’s all the matters. Different opinions are just that and they doesn’t change who we are as people. I won’t bother having discussion with folks that are going to be disrespectful or that can’t manage a conversation without flipping out or making a personal attack. Why bother?
When I worked I never discussed politics and I Pretty much made it a no-go our lab. I don’t believe it to be healthy discussion in the workplace, even if everyone agrees.

[PrincessFiona]

I agree with you [MENTION=1102]Pollyanna[/MENTION]

Also, my boss frequently brings up politics. She’s hard core. I usually just agree with her and change the subject. Work is not the place for it.


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[Ethan1989]

I use to talk with someone who have different political belief and I feel it's fun and when I look he is getting tempered I used to quit and start an other topic