Breastfeeding

[DCJenn]

OK- This may not be as controversial as it could be- because I'm all about people bresastfeeding for as long as they want or need to (although I think once the child can ask for it, things may have delved in to the ick.)

But in doing my extensive research for this adoption, the La Leche people are recommending that the adoptive mother take whatever hormone it is that makes one lactate, and then nurse their adoptive child- as a bonding mechanism. Ok, my reaction- ewwwwww, yuck. That's nasty. I got a serious case of the heebie-jeebies. [and what's wrong with bonding over milk (the cow or soy kind) and oreos (the classic kind)?]

So, I put this out there to moms and not moms, dads and not dads for opinion. I'm particularly interested in what you moms who have nursed think about htis whole thing.

Jenn

PS- My other, admittedly vain response? I am not losing my perky breasts if I don't have to- pregnancy is one thing, intentionally doing it? Nope.

[Meenah]

LOL, you are too funny. I breastfed my daughters for approx 6 months. I enjoyed it, but I also enjoyed the bottle. It allowed me to sleep and Dad to bond!! I had a friend who adopted and did try to breastfeed, it was difficult for her and she was not happy with it, and soon switched to bottles. Breastfeeding is such a personal issue, but I believe bonding with you child innnvolves so much more than breasts!!!!!
Luanne

[mommax3]

I believe bonding with you child innnvolves so much more than breasts!!!!!

I totally agree, and I am very pro-breastfeeding.....12 months with my oldest, 21 months 8O with the second, and 10 months with the last, despite fighting mastitis for the last two months of that time.


I don't think I would ever take drugs to re-lactate......breastfeeding was not THAT much fun! Just hold the baby when you give a bottle, at least most of the time. I think that is more important than the kind of milk they are drinking. (I hope I didn't just open another can of worms.)

Sally

[houseelf]

Jenn,

IMHO, I think that the important thing is to rely on your gut as to what YOU want to do and what fits the needs of your ENTIRE family. Both DH and I were formula fed exclusively and we turned out relatively o.k.. For the record, I was also an industrial-daycare-come-latch-key-kid, and hey, what do you know, I'm all right. (AND I'm super-bonded with my mommy).

BF is a beautiful relationship, but it is not the exclusive gold standard of good parenting. This will be the first of many parenting theories that people get all hell-fired up about. I bf for just under a year with my son and hope to do so again with my daughter. BUT....if it doesn't work out, that is the way it goes. Don't let anyone else override your gut instinct.

By the way, I will confirm that pregnancy and nursing does lend a certain "National Geographic" look to the girls which used to be so high and mighty.

Kelly

[Auspicious]

Re: Breastfeeding

But in doing my extensive research for this adoption, the La Leche people are recommending that the adoptive mother take whatever hormone it is that makes one lactate, and then nurse their adoptive child- as a bonding mechanism. Ok, my reaction- ewwwwww, yuck. That's nasty. I got a serious case of the heebie-jeebies. [and what's wrong with bonding over milk (the cow or soy kind) and oreos (the classic kind)?]

Isn't Stoli going to be like a year old when he joins the family? For me it would be one thing to start nursing a week-old baby when that's pretty much all they do anyway, but I think it would be a pretty akward way to bond with a willful, observant, personality-filled one-year-old (or at least that's how my neice and nephew were by that age) whom you just met. I would guess there would be lots of other means to accomplish that same end.

If the research showed that it would still impart health benefits, though, I would consider it (myself). Or consider pumping and bottle-feeding or something.

I plan to give breastfeeding my best shot, though that's for the health benefits--frankly I'm currently deeply skeptical of the idea that there's a bonding difference between breastfeeding and attentive bottle feeding, but we'll see when the time comes.

Both DH and I were formula fed exclusively and we turned out relatively o.k.. For the record, I was also an industrial-daycare-come-latch-key-kid, and hey, what do you know, I'm all right. (AND I'm super-bonded with my mommy).

Ditto. Although I also spent my entire youth riding around in cars without seatbelts and breathing secondhand smoke and turned out okay, but I don't think I'll be repeating that on my kids. My mom breastfed my older brother, and bottlefed myself and my younger brother, and there're no appreciable differences between us. But she has said if she knew then what the research shows now she would have breastfed us all.

[Sheherezade]

2 kids here, breastfed each for about 2 years. (Where is my breastfeeding medal of honor? ) I generally like Le Leche, but I think the adoption/take the horomones thing is ridiculous. OK, not ridiculous, but WAY above the call of duty. I think breastfeeding is great for the baby and mom and just plain easier once you get the hang of it. I was never caught without food or drink for the baby and the middle of the night thing just involved rolling over and hiking up my T shirt. (No standing up or visiting the kitchen!!) As for bonding, I think the holding the baby part is more important than the source of the milk. Also, responding to your child's cries is good, but I can't imagine an adoptive parent not being very eager to do all that anyway. It takes a lot of effort to get that adopted baby into your home!!

Angie[/code]

[Flynn]

I think it depends on what you are comfortable with. Manufacturing breast feeding by taking drugs seems weird to me but that might just be me....

I breast fed for just under a year with my daughter and it was great and I hope to do it again with #2 but if it doesn't work out I won't be crushed or anything.

On a side note I agree with some previous posts that the age of the child plays a roll too. If you get your son when he is a year I don't see the point.

Just my thoughts. I was happy to be done with breast feeding and I was happy to do it in the first place. Go with your gut.

Will these hormones make my boobs bigger? Is it wrong to take them for that purpose even if you're not breastfeeding?

[DCJenn]

I don't know, but I nominate you to find out for all of us!!!

I never even seriously considered it but wondered what everyone else thought.

Jenn

I agree about the age thing. If it were a newborn, I think there would be a stronger case for the health benefits. There will be plenty of other ways for you to bond. I've been amazed to watch our friends bond with the 8 month old daughter they brought home from China -- after a few weeks, she was very connected to them -- and no breastfeeding!

On the pro-taking hormones side, I'll bet it would make your boobs bigger -- and it burns around 500 cal/day (a fact that was not lost on me when starting out with bf).

[SueC]

Yeah, I think the age thing would play a huge part. If the baby is close to a year that is about when they are weaning from a bottle or breast anyway. I nurse mine for about a year, but I agree that it isn't the gold standard for parenting. It's convenient and cheap but it isn't the only way.
On a side note, I have a good friend that became pregnant while in the process of adopting a baby. Basically she ended up having twins 5 months after the adoptive baby came into their home (as a newborn). Upon the advice of several "experts" she attempted to breastfeed the adopted baby and he looked at her like "what in the heck are you trying to stick in my mouth!". Needless to say she abandoned any thoughts of breastfeeding that child, though he did prefer breastmilk to formula and would drink that from a bottle just as frequently as his little sisters did. That said, I went to a party in their home recently and the baby that was adopted was just as bonded to his parents as the twin girls are.