Would you donate your eggs?

[SueC]

My sister (who hasn't had kids yet) called me tonight to ask me my opinion on donating eggs. It seems she has a friend who has struggled with infertility and was thinking of trying the route of using donated eggs. My sister was toying with the idea of offering to donate some eggs for her friend but she was wondering what I thought of this, being that I already am a mother. I told her that I personally could not donate my eggs. I think I would feel somewhat responsible for any child that was part biologically mine, even if I didn't carry it for 9 months and give birth to it. On the flip side, if I had a close friend or family member that needed me to carry a child that wasn't biologically mine, I would do it in a heartbeat. My sister was surprised that I would be more opposed to giving up an egg than being a surrogate. What would you guys do in either scenario?

[Flynn]

Yep, I agree. I couldn't do it. No way no how. That would be my child out there; one I did not create with my husband. It would be WAY beyond what I could handle and there are other ways to become a mother.

On being a surrogate....I think if it was my sister I would consider it. Anyone else would be out of luck.

[DCJenn]

My SIL donated her eggs, twice. She did it for no other reason than pure finances- it paid for two entire semesters of college.

She has no regrets and it clearly had no impact on her fertility. She was happy to do it and obviously, her college degree is certainly worth something. She will tell Jack when the time comes that somewhere he MAY have half siblings.

As one who is infertile, (no struggling here- it is what it is!) I have never really thought about it. (Of course, my problem doesn't come from the lack 'o eggs) Since we're adopting, obviously neither the egg thing or the surrogate thing is appealing to us.

Interesting topic though!

Jenn

[mommax3]

As others have already said, I would surrogate for a VERY close friend or a sister, but I would not donate my eggs. It would be too weird to wonder if there was a little "half-me" wandering around somewhere.....I would worry about it.

Sally

I couldn't do it either. And I also wouldn't want someone else's eggs. I would adopt.

Like Flynn, I would consider being a surrogate for my sister only.

[Auspicious]

I'm gonna say no. To me it feels parallel to putting a child up for adoption: while I hope I would have done it in a crisis-pregnancy situation, it's not something I would knowingly walk into or make a premeditated choice to do. You have to sign away your parental rights, which means signing away the authority to do your best to ensure the child's safety and well-being should something take a turn for the worse in their future. I think I'd avoid that if I could.

I can't imagine anyone close to me asking me to be a surrogate for them, because I'm pretty sure everyone close to me would look to adoption before they would look to surrogacy. But people are full of surprises, I guess. I think I'd have to hear some really airtight reason why surrogacy was a much better choice in the situation than adoption.

I have no opinion on what other people should do in these situations. I'm sure it works out great for plenty of people.