Got Milk? Breastfeeding in Public

SEATTLE (Reuters) - More than two dozen mothers staged a breastfeeding "nurse-in" at a Starbucks Corp. store in Maryland over the weekend in an effort to get the world's largest coffee shop chain to adopt a policy allowing breastfeeding in all its U.S. stores.

Lorig Charkoudian, who organized the event, said on Tuesday that she began her quest a month ago when she was nursing her 15-month-old daughter at the store in Silver Spring, Maryland, and was asked by a Starbucks employee to cover up with a blanket or breastfeed in the bathroom.

She protested and, after eventually reaching the regional vice president, got Seattle-based Starbucks to recognize a Maryland law that allows mothers to breastfeed their children in public.

Starbucks spokeswoman Audrey Lincoff said in a statement that the coffee chain "quickly apologized for her negative experience" and reminded employees at its Maryland stores to comply with the law.

Charkoudian argues that Starbucks should have gone a step further and allow breastfeeding at all its 5,882 coffee shops in the United States.

"While Starbucks does not have a formal policy regarding mothers breastfeeding babies within our stores, we welcome nursing mothers to our stores,' Lincoff said in a prepared statement, "Starbucks complies with all applicable state and local laws regarding breastfeeding."

About 20 states have laws protecting the rights of mothers to breastfeed in public.
----

Every few months or so, there is a story in the papers about women holding some sort of a breastfeed-in or another, generally to protest discrimination against breastfeeding mothers.

How do you feel about breastfeeding in public either as a mom or a bystander? Most women make some attempt to cover up wiggling babies but would you rather they go somewhere more private?

For me, as a breastfeeding mom, I feed my baby in public and throw a blanket over the baby. I hate feeding in bathrooms; I wouldn't like to eat my lunch in a bathroom and I don't know anyone who would. I have breastfed in a Starbucks without incident....and many other places for that matter. When it has made someone uncomfortable it seems to work to my advantage in that my car is serviced a little more quickly a a neighboring airplane seat is freed up. That's ok by me.

Do you think there should be specific legislation either negating or protecting the right to breastfeed in public? Or is an absence of any laws against public breastfeeding sufficient?

[SueC]

Gosh, am I the only one in the "whip it out" camp? After 3 babies in 4 years, I'll nurse just about anywhere. I'm pretty darn good at doing it without flashing anybody that happens to be around. I don't even use a blanket since it bugs the baby and in my opinion makes the fact that I'm breastfeeding even more obvious. If I wear the right clothes and hold the baby the right way, nobody can see a thing when I get the baby hooked up.
I would be absolutely appalled if I had a restaurant manager come and ask me not to nurse--that seems crazy that someone would want to make a little baby go hungry so as not to make the other customers feel uncomfortable. With my first baby I actually did nurse a few times in the john and I won't do that again--public restrooms are usually disgusting and are no place to feed a baby. That said, I do make an effort to locate a discreet place to nurse at possible. These days, most department stores have womens' lounges and I'd definitely choose to nurse in there where I can be more comfortable than in the food court.
As far as whether or not there should be legislation--my first thought is why should we need a specific law to recognize our right to feed a baby the way nature intended for them to be fed. My second thought is that if some moron can't stand the fact that I'm sitting there breastfeeding my baby even if my boob isn't hanging out and they can't see anything they shouldn't be seeing, then yes, I guess a law ought to be there.

[spotty_dog]

I'm not a mom but mine was a huge breastfeeding advocate and La Leche League member so I guess it's in the blood.

I predict I'll be passive enough to use a discreet cover when my time comes, especially in public, but I admire those moms who whip it out so much. We had a going away party when we left Portland and there were two infants in attendance. Both got hungry; semi-hippie crunchy-granola mom popped out a boob and latched her fella on lickety-split and carried on her conversation. Quiet refined mom fiddled with baby, fiddled with diaper bag, awkwardly draped a blanket and retired into the shadows.

I totally admired mom #1 a lot more. Admittedly this was in my home but I suspect the picture would have been similar in public.

The idea that a mom feeding her baby would be asked to leave or go to the bathroom offends me. Sucks that the natural would be against the status quo, but it still is, and it seems it has to be protected by legislation. So it should be.

[Flynn]

I am a firm believer in breast feeding but in public I staunchly subscrible to the "cover up" camp. I feel more comfortable, and I believe that others around me appreciate it, which I don't mind in the least.

We all come from different places and to see woman just "wip it out" in public makes my brow furrow a bit because I see others get very uncomfortable...especially men, which I understand.

I can definitely see both sides on this issue but in public I think it's considerate to people around you to use a blanket or other methods so what you are doing is not so obvious. I would much rather know a woman is nursing with a blanket over the area, than a woman right out there in the open.

Let me just start that I definitely plan on breastfeeding when I have children. I agree with Flynn on covering up. I am totally fine with breastfeeding in public as long as the mother has a blanket over her.

Last year we were in Boston doing the tourist thing and at one of the historic sites, a woman was breastfeeding and was completely exposed. When she unbuttoned her shirt to start breastfeeding, her entire breast was exposed. And she was right in front of the entrance to the historic house that people were touring. It would have been one thing if she was in an area with lower pedestrian traffic, but since all of the tourists had to walk past her to tour this house, including young children, I think it was very inappropriate.

If someone is breastfeeding in my own house, I couldn't care less if they were covered or not. But in public areas, I think breastfeeding should be allowed as long as the woman is covered up. That's just my opinion. Maybe when I have children my views will change.

[spotty_dog]

Well, I haven't done much intent observation of breastfeeding moms but my understanding is that *some* exposure will probably happen pre-latch whether you plan to cover up or not, and that once the kiddo's eating that there's not really anything exposed that a bikini-wearing woman wouldn't bare to the world. So the real problem with public breastfeeding is some kind of perceived sexual connotation in the act of suckling. That's a cultural thing, and one I'd love to see change.

Also, once the kid's a bit older, aren't they pretty active as they feed? Grabbing, thrashing, fiddling, etc.? I can't imagine a toddler, or evn a kid at the sitting or crawling stage, permitting you to drape his head with a blanket for the duration of a meal. They're so interactive with their environment, and more than capable of manipulating it to suit them, even if it means pulling that blanket off...

Just some thoughts. I think SueC's attitude is the one I predict I'll have once I've been there myself.

Also, once the kid's a bit older, aren't they pretty active as they feed? Grabbing, thrashing, fiddling, etc.? I can't imagine a toddler, or evn a kid at the sitting or crawling stage, permitting you to drape his head with a blanket for the duration of a meal. They're so interactive with their environment, and more than capable of manipulating it to suit them, even if it means pulling that blanket off...

Yes -- very active and observant. Which is why I *have* to use a blanket to cover my daughter -- so she can't see anything while she is eating. Too many fun things and people too look at. If I don't it becomes an all day affair and breasmilk is spraying across the room. I think that even the most tolerant person would mind get squirted!

[spotty_dog]

I think that even the most tolerant person would mind get squirted!

*snorts*

Mmm, the voice of experience. I stand corrected.

[SueC]

I do hate it when they decide to "unplug" after being distracted by whatever else is happening in the room. The beauty of that is that once they get so active, they aren't nursing quite so often and its a little easier to orchestrate the day so you don't have to nurse in inopportune places. I do think it is entirely possible to nurse discreetly without covering the baby with a blanket. My kids hated being covered up and it was way more conspicious trying to get them to latch on underneath a blanket than by doing it the way they were accostumed (90% of the time they are nursed at home so there is no need for a blanket, obviously).

[PrincessFiona]

I voted for the 'cover up and nurse' option..but I'm not shy about nursing anyplace/anytime/anywhere. I do try to be discreet about it (though that isn't always possible.) I don't use a blanket to cover myself up though (a baggy shirt suffices...) so maybe I do belong to the whip it out category?

I'm bothered by the idea though that I should take the baby to the bathroom or the car to feed him.....

[SueC]

I'm kind of like you Kris--I put myself in the whip it out category since I don't use a blanket, but I'm pretty careful about not putting on a show for the people at the next table. After awhile, you get pretty good at wearing the right kind of clothes and scoping out the right place to sit in a restaurant (a booth preferably) so that nursing in public isn't embarassing for you or those around you.

[PrincessFiona]

What's funny, Sue, is that if you decide to have a boob job and wear a tight, semi-see through shirt without a bra, no one at Starbucks would likely have you thrown out

[BonBon]

I voted undercover, but in that I include discreet breastfeeding. As one who has seen women literally whip it out and leave the entire breast hanging out in the open with the nipple saying hello...well that is a bit much for me. It's like a car accident, I can't help but look.

I certainly don't think mothers should be forced to feed their babies in a bathroom, or prohibited from bfing in public. I think the key is discretion.

I have to believe that bf tolerance at Starbucks varies with each store. A couple of years ago I changed my baby's diaper in Starbucks (in Pittsburgh) while sitting on a comfy chair. One of the employees scolded me and told me that I am not allowed to do it. Mind you, the bathroom had no changing station. Anyway, the employee went behind the counter and told his manager. The manager said that it was perfectly OK to change a baby's diaper in the store. Boy, was I thrilled to hear her response. The employee couldn't look at me afterward.

On a personal note, I have no problem bf'ing in public. I don't think I've ever used a cover. I always think that the baby is going to get hot under there. I've always been discreet. However, these days it's can be embarrassing when my little guy decides to turn his head real fast because he saw something interesting. That's always pleasant!

[mommax3]

I think I have nursed a baby about everywhere it can be done, including bathrooms (yuck!) with my first, until I got comfortable with the process. I think a mom has a right to feed her baby when it is hungry......period. However, being generously endowed, (sorry if TMI) ESPECIALLY when nursing, I had a hard time being discreet, but it was not for lack of trying. I used a shawl-thingie with my boys until they were old enough to hate it and fling it away while nursing. By that point, they were distractable enough that I had to retreat away from activity so that they would actually eat instead of engage in squirting the surroundings with milk everytime something "interesting" happened. My middle son was the least distractable (and also the longest nurser......21 months!) so I believe this can vary according to your child.

Amongst friends I was more relaxed, but in public, I tried to look for private places, or I would get in the backseat of the car and nurse there. Babies drinking from breasts freak some people out.....it's messed up, but it's a fact of life. I don't know how I feel about legislation.....I tend to believe that the absence of legislation forbidding it is enough.

Sally