Britney Spears pregnant.

Way to go Amber! You guys are certianly beating the odds - but clearly had the chops to pull it off! Like I said - I love it when it works!

By the time MY kids are 18 I'll need a walker (but ds#1 turned 4 today and I feel like I could use a little assistance already!).

[SueC]

We've got a couple of sets of friends that got married and had kids (or had kids and then got married--whatever) right out of the gates and so far, some of them are making it and some of them didn't. I definitely wouldn't lump any of them into the same category as Britney Spears, as she probably has never really lived in the "real world" that the rest of us experience. I can see pros and cons to marrying young vs. at a more "mature" age--when my sister got married in her 30's it was a tough adjustment for her because she was pretty set in her ways by then. I got married at 23, so going from college roommates (who weren't so easy to live with) to my dh (much easier to live with) was a pretty easy leap to make.

I would think it takes maturity and money in order to have children. I think if a couple decides to have children young, and they do have the stamina, energy, and responsibility to raise children, but not necessarily the money, it can lead to some struggles and hardships. That's when a positive attitude can bring you through the rough times. Personally, I am a planner. I also know I'm not ready to have children yet because I'm not mature enough and financially I'm not at the point in my life. Britney has the money, just not the maturity.

[fluffhead]

I think Britney must be pretty smart. She learned at an early age how to milk the system, and she's done it in a grand manner - or at least her handlers have.
She seems to be a shrewd businesswoman, and for all we know, the ditzy blond persona might be a put-on to make even more money. For a person of little musical talent, she's pulled of the biggest scam since Elvis.
As far as childrearing goes, how many multi-millionaires do you think raise their own children? Why shouldn't she be as good as anybody else at hiring nannies and chauffers?

[Rapunzel]

Fluffhead raises some pretty good points (especially about her having so little music talent yet managing to acquire so much money from a musical career!).


I don't take issue with Brittney Spear's age. After all, I was 21 and my husband was 20 when we had our first child years ago (incidently I was 20 and he was 19 when we married and we were not "intimate" prior to our marriage since that tangent has popped up ). I do think that maturity is not necessarily dictated by age - especially now that I know plenty of 30 year olds that act about like my 15 year old bil!

Anyway, my concern is actually on a moral level in that I find Ms. Spears to be an awful role model for young girls. I really am horrified at her contributions to our modern culture. I wonder how her legacy to-date will affect her own child(ren) - especially if they are girls? I wonder if she will significantly alter her "image" if she has a daughter?

I think back to when Madonna had a daughter years ago and the speculation about the hedonism said child would be exposed to. Granted, Madonna was a great deal older and (hopefully) wiser than Brittney Spears. But, I do remember the intense scrutiny she received in the public because of her previous, well, "naughty" girl image.

Anyway, who knows? Maybe this will be a good thing for Ms. Spears. Maybe it will just result in one more incredibly screwed up child in the world. I hold out hope for the former.

Jennifer

[fluffhead]

Maybe it will just result in one more incredibly screwed up child in the world.

Remember the prospects for the progeny of MJ and Lisa-Marie?
yikes

[Vanquisher]

My dh and I got married when we were 19. I have posted this before. We both had lofty ccareer goals and ambitions. During our engagement, I learned that my fertility was in question. I was 18 years old and my ovaries were both the size of grapefruits and my abdomen was full of endometriomas and scar tissue. I had sugery, and I immediately went on Lupron to try to stop the growth. It didn't stop. I continued to have pain. I talked with a lot of doctors, who all said the same thing, my insides were a mess, and it might be hard for me to get pregnant, if I could at all. They also said that the sooner I did decide to have kids, the easier it might be for me to get pregnant, especially following treatment. We started trying to have kids as soon as we were married. I decided I would regret not having children more than not going to medical school, and I could always go later. Well, I can still do that, but I have sacrificed a lot. If I could have chosen to wait, I would have, but it didn't seem like a realistic option for me. That was 9 years ago. It took me a year to finally get pregnant on Clomid, and now I have a 7 year old. I also have a 13 month old, and this is it for me. I will probably have a hysterectomy next year.

My dh and I were bet against, big time. In fact, we got really, really crappy wedding presents to prove it. I bet the sum total of the wedding presents from all of our 125+ guests came to less than $300. We got checks for $5, broken bowls, bird houses, and greeting cards that said, "good luck." We have been on medicaid, went to school on grants, traded our son off between classes, held jobs while going to school with a child, been on WIC, and certainly weren't fed from a silver spoon.

Yet, we are happy in our marriage, and have a great one, inspite of him being a surgery intern. We also have two great kids. We will pay back what we have taken in grants and programs in taxes, and then some.

That said, I do not think it is fair to lump everyone into groups. We did not financially have what it took, but we worked, and worked hard. We were not "old enough" by some standards. We were, in fact, begged not to get married by MIL, who cried and told me I was ruining her son's life. She has since had to eat her words as dh has been able to accomplish all of his goals, we have a strong marriage, and our children are smart, happy, and healthy.

Britney Spears is not the same as me. She could have around the clock nanny service, and never really see her children, I don't know. I have seen just as many mature people struggle as those who got married young.

My parents and ILs (who were so dead set against our marriage) were both married at young ages too, and they are still married. I think it would have been easier for the ILs to accept our marriage if I had been knocked up. Instead, we were making a concious decision to make life harder. We knew it too.

So, does that mean I shouldn't have been able to have children? Does that mean I should have taken my chances, not married, and not had children? Sure, our road was harder, but I will enjoy that I will be young enough to really enjoy life when we have the money and time to do so.

I do not regret it. I do not recommend it. But, please, don't make snap judgements on anyone having children or getting married at a young age.