forbes: don't marry career women

REPOST!
fascinating article. I think many working spouses of physicians face greater challenges than the average married couple. I hope those who posted will repost again! I am curious to hear your thoughts!

For me, some of the comments in this article really hit home, especially in regards to the aspect of the sharing of everyday responsibilities when both have careers. I tried working full time and running our household (and I mean I did everything) and I failed.

"the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely."


http://www.forbes.com/home/2006/08/23/M ... _land.html

I would take all of this with a grain of salt: as politics disguised in manipulation and misinterpretation of data. This stuff comes out regularly, more often in some political climates than others, and I would be shocked if the science behind it was sound. I am not an expert in this field but I have read empirical literature that suggested that stay at home moms for example suffer from higher rates of depression and have lower self-confidence, though are less stressed out than their working counterparts. Why aren't these studies mentioned - - and their more nuanced findings - - mentioned?

Also, I wouldn't conflate the idea of divorce with marital happiness. That is, the fact that you are not divorced doesn't mean you are happy. Quite the opposite, career women who leave marriages do so because they CAN. And to me this is a very good thing that at least some women have the means to end unhappy or unfulfilling marriages. I have seen some marriages where the wife cannot support herself, cannot make a credible threat to leave, and the husband, in some cases awful in others just garden variety self-centered, really treated her in a crappy way because, well, he could. Anyway, the author seems to be suggesting that the best thing is if your spouse doesn't work AND IS ALSO UNEDUCATED because they are less likely to cheat. So, should women now forego education because it statistically increases the risk of divorce?

Third, I do not fully buy this spin on Becker's labor theory. He assumes that there are not substitutes for marital work (e.g. hired help, takeout etc) and that the roles are fixed - - that is both spouses cannot do work in and outside of the home. The problem is that this often doesn't happen - - has nothing to do with economics, but more sociology. Oftentimes women get jobs but are still responsibile for everything inside the home, leading to conflict and burnout. Is the solution for women to stop working outside the home - - or for men to do more housework and childcare?

About the only thing I agree with is that it can be stressful to have both spouses working full-time or more than full time, particularly when good childcare is not available.

By the way, I always vow when I read these ridiculous things that I will not even dignify them by responding . . . which I never manage to do. It galls me - - this is in alll likelihood a second-rate author, the article was not well researched or written and didn't even make it into the magazine I believe. But, he is going to make a name for himself by recasting sexism as an academic theory? Does he ever mention why the non-working spouse should be the woman . . . isn't he endangering his own marriage by writing this drivel instead of devoting himself to housework.

[Vishenka69]

There's now a counter article posted by a female contributor to Forbes. I pretty much agree with everything she says. While I do work full-time in a field that is somewhat related to my degree, I'm still undecided if I should pursue a career vs just having a job. This might change if DH's schedule gets significantly better post-training. But at least during med school and residency I felt the need to be the flexible one. I personally know lots of people who can be simultaneously working on their family/marriage and career but I find it hard to more than one at a time.

As for the statistics cited in the original article, they go back to the old example (used in all stats textbooks) of greater ice cream sales causing increased crime. For those who didn't take stats, the example goes like this: A number of studies show that ice cream sales increase when the weather gets hot. The same number of studies also show that when the weather gets hot, crime rates go up. Therefore, when ice cream sales go up, so does the crime.