Totally Clueless

[DrWahoo]

Are there any ladies out there who have successfully made the transition from SAHM to WM ? I am so overwhelmed. I wasn't that organized and together as a SAHM so being WM is just crazy. And of course no one around me has a clue what it is like to be married to a doctor, who can offer no help at all. I am guessing proper time management and caffeine are the keys, right ? Or is this a impossible transition without a nannie ?

[Ladybug122]

Re: Totally Clueless

Well, I haven't ever been a SAHM, so I can't completely relate. BUT I am a working mom, married to a pgy2 IM resident, so we have some similarities.

What type of childcare arrangement do you have? A daycare? Someone to come to your house? I think that whether or not you are schlepping the kids out the door in the am, and back home at night makes a big difference...and if you are using an outisde-the-home provider, I think it's more difficult. But it can be done, you just need to be prepared...lunches packed, clothes out and ready for wear (for you too!), and backpacks ready. This makes a big difference in the morning.

As for the being married to a doctor thing... even though you're working too, the lion's share of the childcare/household work will also fall on your shoulders. I'm sure that's nothing new to you. I hear cleaning ladies are a godsend!

The only other bummer that is unique to a working mom who is a medical spouse is that all the kids sick days will also be your sick days...

On the "up" side, you'll have more money for your family, so you can pay off bills, go on vacation, fix up the house, etc.

I work with a couple women who are former SAHM's. They both agree that their day-to-day lives seemed busier as a SAHM than as a working mom. One woman also says that she felt more stressed at home then she does working outside the home. Something to think about...

You can do it!!

[rainbabies]

Re: Totally Clueless

oh, C...we shoud hook up. too bad im not in baltimore anymore. im looking for ouside work too. oh, and child care!!! what a lovely balancing act this adventure will be.

good luck to you!

[DCJenn]

Re: Totally Clueless

It takes being organized to a new level- I plan out (mentally- I'm not together enough to actually write anything down) the days events.

In order to help those mornings when even making a PB & J is an impossible feat, I have lunch stuff at the ready-

I buy the chocolate milks in a case from Whole Foods, I bought fruit cups in a case from the PX, I always have kid friendly granola bars, yogurts and string cheese. This morning Nikolai took: one chocolate milk, one string cheese, one yogurt tube, one granola bar, and a banana. Relatively healthy and certainly easy.

I only wear clothes that don't require ironing and everything is black, tan, cream or brown. Seriously. Sweater sets are a god send.

That's it!

Jenn

[houseelf]

Re: Totally Clueless

I hope you don't mind me popping in this conversation because I haven't gone from SAHM to WOHM, but I did the first seven years as a WOHM.

ITA, you absolutely, positively must be OCD organized. My car with everything from hoodies to bottled water at all times. Every morning I'd start a load of laundry and then throw it in the dryer when I got home at night. I'd leave pots on the stove so that they'd be ready to go for cooking the next night. I'd set a week's worth of kids' clothes out so all they had to do was grab a pile. I set up all of my hair, doctor, and dentist appointments over my lunch hour. A lunch hour at Target was luxurious. (Have I mentioned that the number one thing I miss about working is my lunch hour? )

Occasionally, I miss my formerly super efficient days because now I get half as much accomplished in a day. Best of luck!

Kelly

[Michele]

Re: Totally Clueless

In theory lunches and bags are prepped the night before....in actuality, I scramble last minute every morning and forget stuff occasionally.

Jenn's advice for quick lunch food is KEY in our house. I'm soooo glad Daegan has learned to pick grapes off a stem and doesn't choke on the skins.

Because we cloth diaper I'm pretty good about throwing a load of diapers in the wash every morning before I leave and then tossing them into the drier when I get home...then stuffing and packing the diaper bag each night.

Russ has gotten good about loading the dishwasher every morning before we leave and emptying it each evening.

(Obviously someone in this house can't sleep with 'sounds' at night *cough, Russ* so most things get run during the day. )

As for other stuff?? I have a cleaning lady come every other week and I take the dogs to the clinic to get baths every other week. Russ pays all bills on-line and I keep stuff in the freezer than can go straight to oven for dinner when I don't have the energy to cook. The rest of our lives though is a mess!

[DCJenn]

Re: Totally Clueless

I agree with the other advice-

Laundry is done in spurts- trying to do it all at once just doesn't work. I'll throw loads in at bedtime, at breakfast, etc. and I fold them directly out of the dryer because otherwise they don't get folded.

Also, all banking is online. And I have a yard guy, and a pool guy because honestly, something has to give. I hired them when Rick left for Iraq and I've kept them on.

and I buy 5 frozen lunches at a time and keep them in the fridge at work for my lunches. and I buy a case of canned seltzer water, too.

Jenn

[HouseofWool]

Re: Totally Clueless

Things are easier now that C is 5 and know the morning routine. I find that keeping him on track and INDEPENDENT is the key. I usually set him up to watch cartoons for 15 minutes (lest I have the world's crankiest child on my hands) and hand him his clothes for the day. About halfway through the time, I tell him to get out of his pj's and into his shirt. If he gets his pants on, bonus, if not, I help him.

I usually do a Lean Cuisine for lunch, so I can pack my lunch up in a matter of a minute. I will pack up the left overs for DH, but he puts together his own lunch.

As for laundry, I try to do it as it is needed. I have a hamper with 3 sections, whites, colors and darks. When one section is full, it goes in the washer.

Dusting only happens when company is coming over.

On DH's surgery rotations, we have instituted TakeOut Tuesdays (all about the corny names here) which are nice. There is a chinese joint around the corner and their servings are huge.

Being a working mom is really hard. Period. Then add in the stressors of not having help, for us we aren't anywhere close to relatives who can help when C is sick. But, even without a nanny and a boatload of help it can be done. Being uber-organized is the key as is teaching the kiddos how to do things for themselves.

[Cumberland]

Re: Totally Clueless

I work part time, but this semester two days a week I have to be out of the house at 620am I put EVERYTHING in the car the night before- purse, bag, school bags, snack for me, work paperwork,etc. I pack lunches the night before. I put DD2 to bed in her clothes for the next day and have DD1's clothes in a bag with their shoes and barrettes in the car. When I go to bed, I know all I have to do is quickly get myself dressed, put lunches in the car and carry them to the car. Fortunately, they eat bfast at their sitter and she helps DD1 get dressed. I might try to do a crockpot meal one of those days and leftovers the other day.

I just found go-gurt by stonyfield farms! It has probably been out for a while but I have never seen it before. That has been a lunchbox staple of late. All the other ones that I have seen have HFCS.

[DrWahoo]

Re: Totally Clueless

Thanks ladies, very good info. My mom told me that having mommy's helper from the church was a great asset as well.

It is true, btw, that some parents enjoying working rather than being at home. I know this from experience and from watching 20/20 special of which I was aghast until I actually started working. Some women were cut out to be SAHM, I simply wasn't. I am a web developer so I chill at my desk all day and listen to podcast and great music. My boss is so sweet as well. When I come home it's crying and pandemonium. I really swear that it is easier to go from being poor to rich, than to go from being a total spaz to an orderly mom. I need a role model, because I totally suck. My mom was so organized, but she was also crazy, so we can't relate to each other although she has some good tips. I am good about getting them out the door, I just need to find away to keep up with their activities. DS is two but his school has parties, crafts and crap like that. DD is 6 so she has the same stuff as DS plus homework and friends. I think it would be easier to handle if I wasn't dealing with other family issues.