Biting off more than one can chew

[PrincessFiona]

Confession time...I've reached a point of being in over my head...and I need some gentle motivation to help keep me going......As a benefit for volunteering this semester at the U to teach, the department is paying for me to take a class....I opted to take the class (biological psychology)through continuing studies because....I don't have time during the day to be on campus. I teach T and R when Alex is in preschool...There are a few classes here where you can opt out of going to lecture and just take the exams at your convenience during the semester. The downside is that you miss the classroom time. I've reached a point in the semester now where there are papers to grade and we're working on replanning labs....and I've gotten behind in this class. All of the exams need to be taken by May 2 and I'm just 1/2 way through...the exams are really nitpicky.....they are more about memorizing the tiny details than they are about learning something....and I'm burned out....and to top it off I'm pregnant and I don't feel well...(I know, I know...I made my bed, right?)

I have no more get up and go!!! As I sit here typing, I feel like I could doze off into snoozeland. I was supposed to take a big exam for the class tomorrow after I teach lab and I just called and postponed it...again....that is not good....It gives me a month to finish 1/2 of the course and take the final I can't drop it because 1. we're past drop date and 2. It is the only way that I'm insured in case something happens in the lab....

boohoo..I'm really so tired you guys!!!

Kris

[mommax3]

Kris,

First of all, if I read your post right, you have more like six weeks, instead of just a month, to get it done. Second, take a deep breath, and maybe a nap :!: and then see how you feel tomorrow. A lot of times when I am overwhelmed, I have to step away for a while to regain my sense of perspective and it sounds like you need to do the same thing.

You need to be getting your rest right now. I know you posted elsewhere that you are having trouble getting the kids to bed (one of the unpleasant after-effects of having Grandma visit? ) and I know from experience how infuriating that can be. And Thomas being grumpy can't be helping. Work on the laundry today and don't worry about school. See if you can't bribe the kids to stay in their rooms after you put them down. Go to bed early (act pathetic ahead of time so that Thomas will feel guilty and cut you some slack) and I bet you will feel 1000% better tomorrow. Take it all ONE DAY at a time.

Sally

[SueC]

Hi Kris,
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now--not to mention you are in your first trimester which is exhausting in itself. I didn't quite get the part about having to take the class in order to be insured??? Does that mean you absolutely have to continue taking the class? Is there someone you could talk to at the University if you decided you couldn't keep up with the class? Sorry for the "20 questions"--it just sounds like you might be a little overwhelmed at the moment.
Hang in there!

[PrincessFiona]

well...

I AM feeling a bit better today...thanks...I didn't realize that it was 6 weeks...for some reason I was only thinking that it was 4...but it's still going to be a close call...in any case...I'll just have to plow through it.....and getting rest is definately at the top of my list.....I'm getting the who cares attitude about the class.

The reason that I have to continue taking it is that I volunteer to teach a lab class on Tues and Thurs mornings when my son goes to preschool. (There are no paid jobs, and this just gives me the opportunity to continue to be at home with my children...but to just have some little piece of my life carved out that just belongs to me). In order for me to teach and for the university to be covered in case somene injures themself (and it happened already this semester ...a student put a pipette through his hand during my lab two weeks ago 8O ) I have to be either faculty or a student. Since I'm not faculty/staff, I have to be a student...so...the university paid for me to take 3 'general' credits last semester....I figured that if they were going to pay for 3 credits, it might as well allow me to take an interesting class......but now I'm just feeling the crunch.......

So...priority now is just reestablishing a schedule with the kids...bedtime is a must...and taking some time with my hubby first....then the class will have to fall into place. If it doesn't...oh WELL!!! Right :

Kris

[DCJenn]

RIGHT.

Jenn

Sounds like you have a plan now!!

Found some bits of advice from Dr. Phil!

Four-Step Priority Plan For Mothers

If you are stressed, mentally exhausted and out of balance, you aren't being fair to yourself or your family. You'll be a happier person -- not to mention a better wife, mother and friend -- once you stop putting your own needs last. Dr. Phil has a Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers.

1. Get Over the Guilt

* Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It's not selfish to make yourself a priority.

* Redefine what it means to be a "good mother." Instead of using society's definition, create your own measure of success as a parent.

* A good mother is not one who only sacrifices; a good mother is also able to give of herself. If you don't have passion and happiness in your own life, you can't give it to your children.

* Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than "just" a mom.

2. Make Yourself a Priority

* Don't confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren't the same things. Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you'd give someone else you love.

* Don't do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the time to teach them how to do things for themselves.

* Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without feeling guilty.

3. Discover Your Passions

* Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or enjoyment?

* Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: What would it take to put that feeling back into your life? What can you do to recreate that feeling now?

* When you've found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don't allow yourself to treat this "me time" as an option. It should be as important as anything else.

4. Gain the Support of Your Family

* This isn't always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do things for yourself -- so you can be a better mom and wife.

* Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you won't be abandoning them.

[Meenah]

YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!

[DCJenn]

Well, I'm feeling rather inspired and I'm not even a parent!

Excellent advice, I gotta say...

Jenn

[PrincessFiona]

advice

Awesome, ThuVan....THANKS....I just printed this out!!! This will be my new mantra...I think I'll tape it to my bathroom mirror
:!: :!: :!:

You guys are so awesome!

Kris