Feeling a little insecure

I don't know if insecure is the right word, but I feel like whatever I'm doing seems insignificant compared to whatever he's doing during his work day. I have never wanted to go into medicine but there are times when whatever I accomplished sounds kind of dumb compared to saving lives, especially since I haven't quite figured out what the future holds for me. Does anyone else feel that way sometimes?

[Michele]

Sometimes. But really it's just another job. Would you feel the same if he was a smoke detector salesman or air traffic controller or engineer? All those jobs help save lives as well.

[diggitydot]

Everyone is of value. I've never considered either my dude's work more important than mine, or vice versa. Both of us are irreplaceable to different people for different reasons.

[JDAZ11]

I guess I never really think of things that way, or maybe I don't compare myself (we are not at all similar). I never had any desire to go into medicine - the whole thing totally grosses me out and I never really excelled in science, ha!

Along with my recent rejection letters came three amazingly nice holiday cards from patients gushing about how wonderful he was and how they wouldn't be alive this holiday season if it wasn't for him - I will admit that at that moment I felt slightly inadequate... but whatever, I was probably more annoyed that he actually does something all day and at the moment things aren't going so well for me in the career department... moving on!

[diggitydot]

Count me as another with ZERO interest in medicine. I'm eternally thankful for gross med peeps, but wouldn't ever dream of becoming one myself.

I should probably say that I don't feel like that all the time, but there are moments when I think hmm...JDAZ, that's how I feel! Michele, I think I would but you know, a lot of these feelings tend to arise when we haven't seen each other in a while and it's been weeks:/

[JDAZ11]

I should probably say that I don't feel like that all the time, but there are moments when I think hmm...JDAZ, that's how I feel! Michele, I think I would but you know, a lot of these feelings tend to arise when we haven't seen each other in a while and it's been weeks:/

Whoa - like how many weeks? Do you live in the same city?

[niener]

Yes, I have felt this way on occasion. Especially when I waited tables all through his 4th year of med school, so our "how was your day?" stories were a little unbalanced. The only time I was ever able to "one-up" him was the day I waited on Eli Manning .

But I don't let it get to me. Everyone, in every job, has value. There is absolutely no way doctors could do their jobs without the people who make and repair medical devices; the people who answer the phones and make patient appointments; the people who handle the insurance billing; the people who cook lunch in the hospital cafeteria; the people who take out the trash at the hospital; the people who change patient's bedsheets; the people who service the elevators in the hospital. All of those people are helping save lives too, it's just more indirect. And in a lot of cases (like many here), there's no way they could do their job without their spouse's support. We really do think of ourselves as a team. He may be the one directly taking care of patients, but I do a lot to take care of him so that he can take better care of his patients.

Oh yeah, and never, in all of my career flip-flopping, have I ever had any desire to be a doctor. Ever. No way. Those people are crazy

[GrayMatterWife]

I have a friend who is an artist, married to a trauma surgeon.

When asked this question, she said, "Medicine saves lives. Art makes life worth living. Everyone has value."

[JDAZ11]

I have a friend who is an artist, married to a trauma surgeon.

When asked this question, she said, "Medicine saves lives. Art makes life worth living. Everyone has value."

I love that!

I'm not sure it will work for me (few people feel lawyers make life worth living, lol). But maybe for my next career!

[niener]

I have a friend who is an artist, married to a trauma surgeon.

When asked this question, she said, "Medicine saves lives. Art makes life worth living. Everyone has value."

This is brilliant

[MrsPotts]

Just remember our hubby's wouldn't be where they are without us! Just keep this in mind when you are starting to feel this way. You are just as much of a part of the lives he is saving because you helped him get to where he can do this, although indirectly.

[Phoebe]

I have a friend who is an artist, married to a trauma surgeon.

When asked this question, she said, "Medicine saves lives. Art makes life worth living. Everyone has value."

That is awesome! Count me in for not wanting to touch medicine with a 10 foot pole. I haven't ever felt like DH's work was more important. Sometimes, I feel down because I don't have anything that is mine in terms of 401K, retirement or whatnot. Then I think about my daughters and it doesn't matter.

[peggyfromwastate]

I constantly remind myself that he is replaceable in his job (there are others who can do his work, even though surgeons forget that sometimes) but I'm pretty much the only person who can do what I do. There's only so much of my day to day I could outsource.

Anyway that's what I like to tell myself when I feel pathetic!!

Of course right now I'm basking in the glow of 3-year old love every day. 3 year old is my age I think-- and dd loves to tell me she loves me, she gives me kisses, she draws little pictures, etc etc.

Thank you ladies! And I love that quote about the artist and her trauma surgeon husband! It'll be more than a month since we've seen each other and that's due to our conflicting schedules. We have a semi-long distance relationship right now but I'm hoping that once this rotation is over, we can see each other at least once a month. The funny thing is, he hates talking about work and he feels like he's boring so I guess the grass is greener sometimes. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we'll get to spend part of the holidays together.