When/Why you stopped working (for pay)...

[moonlight]

I feel like we've talked about this before in piecemeal but I have it on my mind as medical training is closer to the end rather than the start. Things look as though I might not have to work outside the home full time at the end of training. I'm not sure how I feel about that fact.

For those of you that stopped working outside the home after training years (or maybe during training years) was the transition difficult? Were you completely happy to walk away from the working world and never wanted to look back? Do you ever sometimes day dream about working again, even part time?

I know I'll get several different answers here, but I hope to read something that will help me wrap my head around what it is I want to do after this is all over in 18 months. I feel like a 18 year old kid start all over again.

[Chrisada]

We're not done with training but DH makes enough with moonlighting that I don't have to work. I never missed it and this had been my master plan lol. I keep myself busy by volunteering in my son's classroom ALOT, volunteering at the YMCA, Junior League, and I'm about to start volunteering at a retirement home. Volunteering is an integral part of my life.

[v-girl]

I don't see myself ever working for pay again. DH and I agree volunteer work is a great way for me to get the bug out of my system without a long term full time career commitment.

I stopped because I was just done. I had been the breadwinner in several job situations that were stressful and in the end, it was my sanity or a paycheck. I tried doing part time. Didn't work out either.

Now, well, it's hard to homeschool if you aren't home.

[moonlight]

We're not done with training but DH makes enough with moonlighting that I don't have to work. I never missed it and this had been my master plan lol. I keep myself busy by volunteering in my son's classroom ALOT, volunteering at the YMCA, Junior League, and I'm about to start volunteering at a retirement home. Volunteering is an integral part of my life.

I was hoping you would chime in! What do you not miss about it? What do you like more about volunteering than working for pay?

*** I ask because I could see myself doing exactly what you are doing in the future!

[SuzySunshine]

I went out on maternity leave with my first still on the fence about whether or not I'd go back. I was leaning towards not and then my position was eliminated so I was given a nice severance package and started my stay at home life. In our situation at the time I LOVED it, most of my friends were SAHMs, now almost 5 years I miss it. Not the job, I didn't love that job, but I do miss the adult interaction, the mental stimulation, and getting out to do my own thing.

Our financial advisor really harps on this and every time he sees me he asks if I've come up with something. He has way to many clients that lived for their kids and then when their kids were gone they had major life issues.

So, my plan is to find something - I've just started looking, I don't know what the answer is but I will find either a volunteer situation that is stable or I will find something professional to do. I have several friends that have started businesses because they have the idea for something but they don't know how to market it/themselves so I've thought about starting my own mom marketing business not really for money/profit but to help those moms that have those kinds of ideas.

That is what I'm thinking, we'll see where I end up.

[SuzySunshine]

And I suspect I'm more likely to find something steady/permanent once the kids are in school all day.

[Chrisada]

Volunteering is such an amazing feeling. And I look at it as a blessing that we are in the financial place for me to do this. It is very rewarding and flexible. I'm the only mom in my son's class who comes in every single week religiously. The kids love me, I do art projects with them. But like I said, this has always been my plan. I'm not the working outside of home type.

[GrayMatterWife]

No comment.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Our financial advisor really harps on this and every time he sees me he asks if I've come up with something. He has way to many clients that lived for their kids and then when their kids were gone they had major life issues.

This is/was MIL - I think you guys are in a slightly different boat because you were together for so long before kids, so you have a real friendship/relationship beyond being "mom and dad".

I did not return to teach after I was pregnant with DD. I was about 17 weeks at the end of the year, and knew I didn't want to go back. Like Chrisada, it was kind of always the plan. We get money from DH's parents each month to help us out a bit, but we still took a major decrease in pay when I quit. Although, with gas and childcare, we probably would have broken even.

If I ever went back, I'd do administration at a small Catholic school, but I'd be ok not ever being in the workplace again

[MrsK]

For those of you that stopped working outside the home after training years (or maybe during training years) was the transition difficult? Were you completely happy to walk away from the working world and never wanted to look back? Do you ever sometimes day dream about working again, even part time?

Once again you and I are in lock step. I'm also trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. You know all about my bumpy ride to unemployment and how painful the transition was (is) so I won't re-hash that. Initially, I was not completely happy to walk away from my career but I think that was more because of the circumstances than anything else. I had often dreamed of walking away and I would have preferred to leave on my own terms, when I was prepared to do so. After residency was done. Right now, I don't want to look back. I spent today playing with my toddler and running errands in nearly empty stores. However, in all likelihood, DrK will not be making the big bucks when he finishes residency, our children will get older, and I will eventually be working in some capacity. Though, I don't think I'll return to my prior career.

[SoonerTexan]

Once DH is done with residency (a long time away) I will plant my butt at home and never work for someone else again. I wouldn't mind working for myself, though. (Photography). I know I'll always have something going on, but I'd prefer it be on my terms. I will try and fanangle something part time once residency starts, though. Working 2.5 days would be a dream--my mom could do most of the childcare, I'd get some time out of the house, but plenty with my babies, and we'd have extra money to start paying down loans and saving some extra $$

[mommax3]

I stopped working after the birth of my oldest, after almost 5 years of teaching middle school choir/music (he was born in April). I had always wanted to stay home with my little ones, and luckily, DH and I were on the same page on that issue. DH was an MS2 when our first was born, but was on an HPSP scholarship, so we hadn't taken out any loans at that point. Loans got us through the living expenses of the next two years, along with income I was able to bring in from teaching private lessons and nannying. DH was selected for an active duty residency, and his salary (in a low COL city) meant my time at home could continue, although I held various part-time jobs and continued to teach privately.

I do not regret one minute that I spent at home, but as my youngest (of three) got to be school-aged, I found myself ready for something else. I was bored and needed to be with adults after 11 years at home. I had done some volunteering, but (I realize this doesn't cast me in an attractive light) I like to be in charge, and that is not the role of a volunteer. I went back to work when my youngest was in pre-K, part-time at first, with gradual increases in hours each year. I am full-time this year. No one is more surprised than I that I went back to work just one year after DH started his attending job, but it is the right fit for me. It also helps that I am in the same school system as my kids, so we have the same schedule. I enjoy the camaraderie I have with my co-workers, and I enjoy teaching! I love having something that is my own, like Cheri has mentioned. I don't know that I will stick it out until I am retirement age, but for now, it makes me happy most days and keeps me sane. I know this is not the question you were asking, but I thought I would chime in because the fact that I am back at work was never in my master plan!

[migirl]

I stopped working almost 7 years ago, when my oldest was born. DH was a PGY-4 (out of 6) at the time.

I had previously worked in a "job" that was definitely not a "career," and I don't miss it for one second. I love being home with my kids.

As my kids get older I'm slowly taking on more volunteer opportunities (I'm currently treasurer for our preschool and room parent for my first-grader, in addition to my monthly commitment in our church nursery). I see myself taking on more volunteer roles, but never returning to a paid position.

Making the transition to not working was absolutely a non-issue for me.

[moonlight]

I know this is not the question you were asking, but I thought I would chime in because the fact that I am back at work was never in my master plan!

No no no! This is exactly the type of info I want to read! It's very helpful to understand how different women have made a path for themselves post training. I can envision this happening with me as well. My concern is that my teenager will need me more of my attention... just as I could start getting a real groove going in the workplace. That happened with my mother and my brother really needed more attention paid to him. I think he could have made better life choices as a teen had our parents been less busy at that time. Its something I really think about. I guess there isn't anything to do about it now though. Thoughts?

[moonlight]

I stopped working almost 7 years ago, when my oldest was born. DH was a PGY-4 (out of 6) at the time.

I had previously worked in a "job" that was definitely not a "career," and I don't miss it for one second. I love being home with my kids.

As my kids get older I'm slowly taking on more volunteer opportunities (I'm currently treasurer for our preschool and room parent for my first-grader, in addition to my monthly commitment in our church nursery). I see myself taking on more volunteer roles, but never returning to a paid position.

Making the transition to not working was absolutely a non-issue for me.

Same question. Does volunteering fill some sort of busy bee instinct you have since you are not working or would you have done those things regardless of you working outside the home or not?