New Job (yay!), I kinda lied about DH (boo)

[LynnAlicia]

Hello,

I need some advice. I just started a new job yay! During the interview process EVERYONE asks what brought me to the city I live in from Seattle. I did not feel comfortable telling them it was for DH's medical school, meaning my time here is limited. So I would say for his "job". Then if they asked more, I would say he works in the medical field. Then if they asked where (there are multiple big providers here) I would say the institution he goes to school. I know personal questions are not even supposed to be asked during interviews so I don't really feel bad for stretching the truth. But now that I've started the job, I don't know how to bring it up. I know it's going to slip out of my mouth sometime. But I almost don't even want to tell my coworkers because I like keeping work and personal lives separate. But the spouse subject inevitably comes up during lunch sometime or something.

Has anyone else dealt with this? What did you do? How did it turn out?

Thanks!

[Vanquisher]

You didn't lie. They asked illegal questions. You were vague, and school IS his job. Don't sweat it.

[MarissaNicole]

I would be vague and stay with the answers you already gave. If you become close friends and you genuinely want to share or they ask more questions then you can clairify but I wouldn't worry about explaining it now.

Wife of a PGY-6

[JDAZ11]

Yeah. I always sucked at that. Just try to keep it quiet as long as possible. But med school is long anyway (I don't know what year he is in), and no guarantee he won't stay there after. Most people don't stay at jobs very long these days anyway. No worries.


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[alotofyarn]

Congratulations!! I agree with the others. I was usually pretty honest in my interviews, and it probably hurt me in my previous position, although I had very limited options, so it's slightly different.

[OrionGrad]

I know someone who did the same thing when her hub was in med school. Don't sweat it. If anyone gives you grief, just say he's hoping to stay at the same institution for residency, too.

[ladymoreta]

I did what others have suggested. When they found out he was in medical school, I made it very clear we were planning to stay for residency. (We didn't.) When he was in residency, I assured them he was going to get a job in the same city after training. (He didn't. But I'd also quit by then to SAH with kids.) Like JDAZ said, lots of people move on for lots of reasons after a year or two, so if anything a guaranteed 4 years is a pretty sweet deal for an employer.

[LynnAlicia]

Thank you for the confirmation everyone!

[MarissaNicole]

Not to mention the average person (in my experience) doesn't understand residency and match so they probably don't realize you may have to move at the end of med school.


Wife of a PGY-6

[JDAZ11]

Not to mention the average person (in my experience) doesn't understand residency and match so they probably don't realize you may have to move at the end of med school.


Wife of a PGY-6

Very true.


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[rufflesanddots]

Congrats on the job! I think you handled it just fine. If you're uncomfortable disclosing med school at all, you could even play dumb and just say, "Something with research. I really don't understand what he does! Haha!"

[medpedspouse]

Congrats!!! Gooo you! ITA with what everyone said. I think your answers were great. I, too, take great pains to keep my work life separate from my home life. At my last jib, people were surprised that I would never sit next to DH at Grand Rounds. Why? I am at work. Anyway, when asked the question of what brought me to the area, I always say "to be close to family". . With every training move, I was moving along to be with DH because I wanted to be "close to family" - riiiight? One time, they asked if my family was from the area and I answered "no, they recently moved here".

[MrsSz]

You'd be surprised how many people don't get what happens after med school. My whole office thinks he could just stay here! Congrats on the new job!


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[oceanchild]

I'll never forget the time I explained the match to some of my coworkers. Incredibly smart international lawyers, standing in a semicircle around me, staring awestruck. Hilarious.

Anyway, I'm the sort of person who doesn't keep my home life separate from my work life, and I tell people all sorts of things I probably shouldn't, but I don't think you did anything wrong. Congrats on the new job!

[MrsK]

I don't think you lied and I don't think their questions were illegal. They were get to know you questions. If they asked whether you went to Church, what religion you are, if you plan to get pregnant, etc, that would be illegal -- and then only for certain types of employers. I wouldn't worry about letting the cat out of the bag either. You've got the job and they aren't going to fire you because you might be moving away X number of years from now.