I don't mean to start any mudslinging by adding SAHM to my post--I just have a question. Now that we are in the attending years and my kids are hitting school age, I have begun plotting my return to working life. My DH is supportive, but I'm wondering if the medical community doesn't make this harder. Let me explain--
My husband's practice is growing and contains several working parents. It seems when call schedules are set up and OR time is assigned, the two docs who have SAH wives get the crappiest and most unpredictable schedules. This makes sense, because if I were the working mom with the working doc husband and two kids, I'd be making sure I had the solid schedule, too. Still, where does that leave me? DH's practice is "family friendly"--a fact we love-- but the family friendliness seems to be backfiring. If we push for a more solid schedule for him while I get my act in gear, we are screwing over another working family that is arguably in more need than us currently. I don't know anyone here to babysit/provide care and honestly--if we moved here for the family friendliness, shouldn't we get some of it too?
I love being home with my kids and would like to weasel my way into a flexible job situation. As I see things developing, DH is going to become a clean up man because he has parenting back-up (me) when others don't. He has actually been warned by the other doc's SAH wife not to let that happen to us--she's been in this position for 15 years!!! DH wanted more control over his schedule, but it doesn't seem like he's going to get it without being an **s hole to some other parents. I hate this. It just adds to my difficulties with getting out there--we don't need the money, and I want my kids to have me around, now this I'm not even asking for that much time--just a certainty that he will be able to BE THERE for the kids. We aren't getting that, partially because others need it more. I never anticipated this.
Has anyone else had this problem?
Angie
My husband's practice is growing and contains several working parents. It seems when call schedules are set up and OR time is assigned, the two docs who have SAH wives get the crappiest and most unpredictable schedules. This makes sense, because if I were the working mom with the working doc husband and two kids, I'd be making sure I had the solid schedule, too. Still, where does that leave me? DH's practice is "family friendly"--a fact we love-- but the family friendliness seems to be backfiring. If we push for a more solid schedule for him while I get my act in gear, we are screwing over another working family that is arguably in more need than us currently. I don't know anyone here to babysit/provide care and honestly--if we moved here for the family friendliness, shouldn't we get some of it too?
I love being home with my kids and would like to weasel my way into a flexible job situation. As I see things developing, DH is going to become a clean up man because he has parenting back-up (me) when others don't. He has actually been warned by the other doc's SAH wife not to let that happen to us--she's been in this position for 15 years!!! DH wanted more control over his schedule, but it doesn't seem like he's going to get it without being an **s hole to some other parents. I hate this. It just adds to my difficulties with getting out there--we don't need the money, and I want my kids to have me around, now this I'm not even asking for that much time--just a certainty that he will be able to BE THERE for the kids. We aren't getting that, partially because others need it more. I never anticipated this.
Has anyone else had this problem?
Angie
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