Second thoughts

I have a career problem that I'm kind of (OK- really) struggling with right now. I wanted to see if anyone else had gone through anything similar.



I am a nurse and have been for 7 years. I started working on a Master's in Public Health in Dec. 1999. I have completed 5 courses with something like 9 more to go. With the exception of 1 class, I have really really struggled with all of the classes I have taken. I knew that graduate school would, of course, be harder than undergrad, but I reallt didn't expect it to be like this. I've made good grades in all of them, I haven't really enjoyed any of them. I don't really look forward to the next 2 classes that are facing me either.



I've had some second thoughts about whether or not I chose the right thing to go into several times along the way. I took some time off this summer to help me evaluate that very thing. As it comes closer to time to pay for this fall's class (epidemiology) I am no more excited about it than I was at the beginning of the summer. I thought that maybe I just truly need a break and that I would feel better about things after some time off. It hasn't really worked that way.



Dave and I have talked a lot about this since I started the program, but really over the last few days. He tells me from a slightly more objective view than my own that he sees no passion for Public Health from me. I have to admit that he is right. It's fine, I just don't love it. I kind of feel that way about nursing in general for that matter. He made a comment to me that got my attention. He said that for all the difficulty that he has faced with medical school and all the difficulty that is ahead, he has never once questioned if medicine was the right thing to do. He has such a love of medicine and is so passionate about it. It makes me sad that I don't have that.



What he points out to me that he sees me having that kind of passion about is all things "artsy-fartsy" as he puts it He's right- there's something deeply compelling to me about photography and art. I love to take pictures, I love to look at pictures. I love to spend vacation time in art museums- how weird is that?! I love a good bit of that literature that you were made to read in high school. He's really encouraging me to put some time into researching the subject and seeing about degree programs and such.



It's more than a little scary to me to jump ship from the familiar world of nursing where I have experience, I know what to expect, etc. Sometimes familiarity is comforting and so many things out of my control are changing right now. I'm not sure if I'd be very good at photography- I'm decent now, but what if that's the best I can do?



Insight and advice PLEASE!!!!!



Wendy

Follow your heart, Wendy. My undergraduate degree was a dual major in psychology and german. I always regretted not following a career in science, but went through the same thing...it seemed like such a long road ahead and I felt comfortable with the idea of simply becoming a german teacher or moving on to grad school in psychology...but my heart...my thoughts were in science. I bit the bullet and took my first class (Introduction to Cell Biology) telling myself I was "only doing it for fun" and that there was no commitment to pursuing any degree, etc.....I instantly fell in love and "knew" that I was in the right place...as you probably noticed, I finished a post-bach and just completed my defense for my MS in Molecular Biology....I can't believe it....several years ago I was standing at the bottom of this mountain that had several paths...I picked one and plugged ahead..and I have made a great deal of progress. I don't know whether or not I will stop or go on for my PhD or reevaluate my application to med school in a few years....who knows. But life is about the journey, Wendy...not the destination. Follow your heart and sign up for a course that you are really interested in...and just see where it takes you.



These are just my thoughts.....



Kris

[houseelf]

Wendy,



You have only this life to live. You don't get a second chance or a "do over". Sometimes, we have to take chances to get where we are really supposed to be in our life. I recommend reading "The Purpose of Your Life" by Carol Adrienne. This book changed my views on my life, career, etc. I will warn you, however, that at times the book gets a little "new-age-y", but it speaks volumes on the issues that you currently face.



My hubby, God love him, sounds somewhat like your husband. Medicine is his calling and if he could not be a surgeon, he would probably be fundamentally unhappy. I respect this passion, but I honestly do not understand it. In contrast, I lack a burning desire to be a district attorney, a judge, a writer, a ....whatever. I like my job, but it is a job. I'd much rather be at home with my family. In fact, after a near decade of University education, I feel like I'd be happier staying at home with my son. I feel a little silly that I have all this education and now I want to focus it exclusively towards my personal endeavors. However, I also realize that education is NEVER wasted. Education is more than securing a future salary, it is a gift that you give yourself. Essentially, I'm proposing that neither of us feel guilty for "jumping ship" from some plan that we made for our lives years ago that now no longer seems to fit. Now, if we can just get those pesky student loans to go away.



Seriously, keep me posted on developments. Try flooding yourself with stories of successful people who went out on a limb and found themselves happier because of it. Research your career possibilities. Could you teach High School literature? Could you earn your living making portraits? Does operating a photography studio or a book and/or arts store sound like the answer? Talk to as many people as you can, utilize your resources, and read, read, read. Then you will be fully prepared to take that scary leap of faith.



Kelly

[Phoebe]

I think it is definitely important to have enthusiatism and a positive attitude about your job/career. Are you feeling burn-out from school or a general dislike for your chosen field only you can decide. It sounds like you are taking the right steps towards discovering what path is right for you by having diaglogue with your husband and looking internally what makes you happy.



My question is what does a career mean to you? Are you looking for a career/job in a field where success is defined by the "passion" you derive from things like photography, art or literature? Is success or happiness from your work defined by a monetary value? Could you be lucky enough to find both? Kris posted that she found her love in the field of science and when she is ready there is a career waiting for her. I have asked these questions because I first approached my choice for a career with my heart as an undergrad not fully researching or understanding the reality of the field. I got my master's in an area that had potential with a doctorate degree and some opportunities with a master's degree that you have to create your own niche. I have had difficulty finding jobs that are challenging because my experiences from a vague specialty (sport psychology).



I plan to return to school in a couple years and one of my main priorities is to do something that I like but to be realistic about available jobs. I am considering in school psychology which has a stable job outlook and is in a field that I enjoy. My point in relating my experience is to suggest finding out what you are interested in, but also making sure you can or want to pursue it as a career. Wouldn't it be great to find a career in something that was a life passion?



Jennifer

[DCJenn]

I truly believe that you have to have passion for what you do. My master's program was actually easier (OK- maybe a better description would be- more interesting) because I wanted to learn the stuff. Undergrad was full of stupid classes I had to take that probably did benefit me in the long run but also helped solidify that C average I graduated with!



I lucked in to the disabilities field- my first interst was gerontology and I am still as passionate about the people that I support as I was back 12 years ago. I have learned that I hate working for other people, but until I'm ready to start my own company- I will continue to suck it up because I believe so strongly in what I do. I can't imagine ever doing anything else.



My husband is the same way about medicine. Particularly the peds. He's really an introvert and enjoys working withthe kids because he doesn't have to work at forming relationships.



So, some semi-unsolicited advice? Take some photography classes and see how it feels. Continue to work but stop the masters program for a semester or two. If nothing else, the nursing can help supplement your income while getting your feet wet. And don't forget, there's other jobs in the area of photography besides being the photographer! explore- you really have nothing else to lose. (and you know that you can pretty much make your own schedule with the nursing thing anyway- so go for it!)



Jenn

[Meenah]

Wendy,

Run as fast as you can. If you don't feel passionate about it now, you NEVER will. Before you have committments (such as children) find out what you want for you.



I have been a nurse for 12 years, I am starting a masters program in adult primary care. I absolutely LOVE nursing. I would hate to be doing what I am doing if I didn't love it (I am 43 years old!!!!). When we retire , if ever, we would like to go into the Peace Corps or something similar. Two years ago we spent out vacation in Haiti running a medical clinic.



Follow your heart and your passion.

Luanne

I feel a little silly that I have all this education and now I want to focus it exclusively towards my personal endeavors. However, I also realize that education is NEVER wasted. Education is more than securing a future salary, it is a gift that you give yourself.



That is so true, Kelly! For now, I am feeling very satisfied and happy at home with my children. My husband and father have both inquired when I am going to get a job/go back to school now that I have completed my MS requirements.....and someday when the kids are older, I plan on returning into the "academic" life...I feel proud of my accomplishments but I also want to enjoy spending time with my famly. They have not come first over the course of the last year, as I struggled to complete a personal goal of mine, and now I am genuinely enjoying this time with them...much more, I think, because I feel satisfied with myself as well.



In my very humble opinion, there is nothing silly about focusing on your personal endeavors...being educated shouldn't mean that you can't make the choice to be a sahm and love it! If your heart is truly in being at home with your little guy, I say take the plunge and do it...do away with a car if you have to and all of the other "necessities" and follow your heart.



Kris

[houseelf]

We'll join you if you go peace corps!!!! This is exactly the type of adventure for our golden years that I would love!



Kelly

Well, I have to say that this thread has definately caused me to do some thinking about what I feel passionate about..and I do feel passionate about being home now for a coupe of years..but I REALLY, REALLY miss being involved in school and science...more than I thought I did or would. I am considering registering now for an online graduate biochem course via a distance ed program through Iowa State.....I haven't decided yet, but my husband said he will support any decision that I make...it wouldn't require me to do any outside work....just read and study at night...I've already had a lot of undergrad chem and biochem...it wouldn't be a major deal....but....well...I don't know. I am afraid of it taking my attention away from my family. At the same time, I have a real yearning to do something on my own....does anyone have any thoughts that they could share? I wouldn't overload myself the way that I was last year and I would study/download notes when the kids are in bed.....



I am kind of torn....



Kris

Wow! I almost don't know what to say. Thank you all so much for the supportive words. The more thought I put into this change of direction, the more excited I feel about it. I talked to the museum director for the medical school for a while on Monday afternoon. He had some really wonderful advice for me. He pointed out that I didn't necessarily have to walk away from nursing or medicine if I didn't want to- there are tons of medical- related museums out there that would love to have a person with art training and a medical background. Maybe I'd enjoy that, but maybe not- the point is that it doesn't necessarily have to be all nursing or all art or all photography. It can be a combination of these things. He also gave me some newsletters and magazines to look through and invited me to spend some time with him in the museum if I'd like to. I'm going to do that next week.



Jenn- you make a really good point about having nothing to lose by taking a few classes. I actually have until 2006 to finish the Public Health degree if I decide to do so. That gives me a little breathing room. If I decide to finish it- great, if not, I'm OK with that, too. I agree that education is never wasted. Nursing does afford me the ability of some flexibility with my schedule to take some art classes. I am seriously considering taking a home health job that would really give me the opportunity to do this.



Luanne- there's no doubt in my mind that you love nursing- I can tell just by the things you say about it. I am so glad that there are people like you that love it that much. It also helps me realize that I do not have that type of love for the profession. Good luck with the master's degree.



In talking to one of my friends about this, I realized that I've been wanting to take some art classes for about 5 years now, but have always managed to find a reason why it wouldn't work-- my schedule is weird, the money isn't there, etc. The thing is, that want hasn't gone away & really has only gotten stronger. I think I'm ready to quit being scared of failing at it & forge ahead. Afterall, my husband started medical school at age 33, surely I can go take some art classes at age 29!



Wendy



By the way Kris- my public health degree has been online. It's a good format if you have the discipline to make yourself do the work. It would probably work really well for you since you already have some experience in the things you are wanting to take classes is, as well as for your desire to spend as much time as possible with your family. It really enables you to do the work on your time rather that being obligated to class Monday and Wednesday nights, for example.
Edited by: wkelley2001  at: 7/25/01 8:30:16 am

Luanne-



It is through the med school (KCOM) and is called the School of Health Management-- http://www.shm.kcom.edu



It'a good program with a few growing pains. It is completely over the internet- they work really hard at having very few "location" committments. By that I mean that you are never required to be anywhere to attend class. There are weekly "office hour" chat times as well as weekly assignment due dates.



I'm not sure it's what you are looking for, though. They primarily three degrees- a Master's in Public Health, a Master's in Health Admin. and a Master's in Geriatric Health. They are starting a new program with the local MBA program to offer a MBA with a healthcare emphasis. How that's different from a MHA I'm not sure. They also offer a certificate program in medical office management. From what I understand, you are looking for more of a patient-care oriented, nurse practitioner type program. This isn't is, but I do believe there are some out there.



Good luck!

Wendy

[Meenah]

Wendy,

Which program are you in for Public Health? I would love to find something that doesn't require me to go to class three nights a week!!

Luanne

Hi Wendy,



If you are almost done with your Master's and are still intent on finishing that up, by all means go for it! There are so many things you can do with your experience and the healthcare industry is booming! Especially for nurses. Believe me, I am in the midst of a job search (not your field, but sales) and there are so many jobs out there right now for people with nursing backgrounds - Not necessarily as nurses, but in admin and even - sales! Seriously, I couldn't believe it. Take advantage of your experience and contacts in the industry and apply it to a job you think you'll enjoy. Right now, the pharmaceutical sales industry is at an all time high. Many recent sales people apply but few possess the medical contacts in the industry needed to get to docs. As a pharm rep, all you do is present info to docs and hopefully they will prescribe the drug you represent. It's more of an indirect sales job, but the pay is high - $36,000-$48,000 base plus $20,000 commission + company car. This is only one of the things you can take advantage of due to your experience in the medical industry. If you're really curious, take a look at Monster.com and you'll see what I'm talking about.



(Hey - if anyone here has any career related issues let me know! I'll try to help you out. This board is very helpful to me and I know I can help you out there with my career advice.

Usually, I go on Monster.com and give career advice but I'd also like to help this board out too!)



All I'm saying is that there are a lot of other things you can do with your experience besides nursing. If you still want to work and are not comfortable getting out of the healthcare field, research other opps in the field. I agree with Jenn - maybe take a photo class on the side.



If it makes you feel any better, I love to write and I love to help people with career advice. In terms of my personality, I am extremely outgoing and I can strike up a conversation with anyone. (My fiance are I are complete opposites!) In any case, I know I have to make a living too. So, I work in sales to make some money but I also maintain my website -careerwish.com on the side. It's pretty much a hobby of mine.



So, you can do both if you want. It's up to you. Hope this advice helps!



- Rachel : )

I appreciate your advice, Rachel. I think maybe I should've included a few more details in my original post. My second thoughts are really focused on whether or not I want to finish the Master's degree- in Public Health, anyway. I think that even more than that, the second thoughts involve whether or not I want to be in the healthcare field in 20 years.



WHen I picked nursing as my degree plan in college, I picked it because it would get me out of college in 4 years and I knew I would be able to find a job. It would enable me to get out on my own. There really wasn't a whole lot more thought to it than that.



Now, 7 years later I'm figuring out that nursing is not my life's calling. I've explored several avenues of nursing trying to find one that I really like. I've done many areas of hospital nursing, I've done home health, I've done education. Each of them were fine, but I certainly didn't have a deep love of what I was doing like Luanne does. I interviewed for a pharm. sales rep position where I had to do a mock sales call. I HATED it. It just wasn't me. As a general rule, I'm not the very outgoing, able to hold a conversation with anyone kind of person.



Throughout the process of finding a new job in our new home, I found myself eliminating most of the positions that were available because they simply didn't appeal to me. That sounds a little immature to read it in this format, but at this point in my career I feel like it is more of an educated assessment of what I really want to be doing with my life. I finally started asking myself a few questions-- Why were there so many nursing jobs that I didn't really want? Why was I not excited about nursing? Why did I not enjoy my graduate work more? Why was the thought of taking epidemiology this fall so stressful to me?

Once I took a look at these things, I realized that maybe it was because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing with my life.



Anyway, to keep this from being too long-winded, I'm planning on using nursing skills as a way to explore what I really want to do with my career. I can take a home health job that will afford me the flexibility to take some classes- something a little more substantial than a photo class on the side. I'm actually planning on taking about 9 undergrad hours toward a Bach. of Arts. If I enjoy it as I imagine I will, then I'll keep going. I'm sure that medical knowledge will be nothing but useful in the future, but I'm also pretty sure I don't want to spend the rest of my career with it as the focus.



Wendy