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OK that was a hokey attempt to let everyone know that I'm posting about a couple of things that have been discussed here recently. Can we have it all? Is anyone going to try?
We're at the end of residency now. During these 7 years, I've had a full-time job, a telecommuting job, and most recently a freelance writing job. None of them seem to work well with being primary caregiver.
Full-time dual career families are just always pressed for time and unable to do dumb things like grocery shopping, getting stamps, getting the oil changed, etc. It's all a battle. But you can concentrate on your career during your time at work.
Telecommuting was not exactly focusing on either, but not harming either. But it did harm me - to constant juggling of schedule and kids, having to get work done at night even if one kid can't get to sleep, was just exasperating and I hated it.
Going freelance has been a big release of pressure, but without the pressure I don't get much work done. Every day I find myself having to choose between spnding time with my son after kindergarten doing quiet 'mommy' things, or rushing to my computer to write a bit while they're occupied. Guess which one I choose? Yep, not much writing getting done.
Right now my kids really need me - and I need to stop juggling - so it works ok to freelance, but I have to be looking a year or two down the line. What's my answer? I have no idea! I figure I'll give myself a few months post-residency to come to earth-I'm hoping the fuddlement comes partially from prolonged exhaustion, and inability to even imagine a normal family life with Tom working fairly predictable hours.
One important factor is that the residency years - not to mention the med school years - are so hard on little kids. The combat mentality, the neccessity of two incomes, the call hours, make it tough to give them the stability and patience they need. I know our son (born right before level one boards, MSII) has suffered from it. And I feel regretful at having missed much of his younger years - especially at missing so much of Genevieve's (his little sister) babyhood. So taking care of them makes the best sense now. But it's a strange feeling to no longer have an outside job! I had thought it would feel great, but the ambivalence remains.
Ack! Thanks for listening - I hope this added something to the thread instead of just being a ramble.
Kaaren
We're at the end of residency now. During these 7 years, I've had a full-time job, a telecommuting job, and most recently a freelance writing job. None of them seem to work well with being primary caregiver.
Full-time dual career families are just always pressed for time and unable to do dumb things like grocery shopping, getting stamps, getting the oil changed, etc. It's all a battle. But you can concentrate on your career during your time at work.
Telecommuting was not exactly focusing on either, but not harming either. But it did harm me - to constant juggling of schedule and kids, having to get work done at night even if one kid can't get to sleep, was just exasperating and I hated it.
Going freelance has been a big release of pressure, but without the pressure I don't get much work done. Every day I find myself having to choose between spnding time with my son after kindergarten doing quiet 'mommy' things, or rushing to my computer to write a bit while they're occupied. Guess which one I choose? Yep, not much writing getting done.
Right now my kids really need me - and I need to stop juggling - so it works ok to freelance, but I have to be looking a year or two down the line. What's my answer? I have no idea! I figure I'll give myself a few months post-residency to come to earth-I'm hoping the fuddlement comes partially from prolonged exhaustion, and inability to even imagine a normal family life with Tom working fairly predictable hours.
One important factor is that the residency years - not to mention the med school years - are so hard on little kids. The combat mentality, the neccessity of two incomes, the call hours, make it tough to give them the stability and patience they need. I know our son (born right before level one boards, MSII) has suffered from it. And I feel regretful at having missed much of his younger years - especially at missing so much of Genevieve's (his little sister) babyhood. So taking care of them makes the best sense now. But it's a strange feeling to no longer have an outside job! I had thought it would feel great, but the ambivalence remains.
Ack! Thanks for listening - I hope this added something to the thread instead of just being a ramble.
Kaaren
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