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How did you decide on your career path?

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  • How did you decide on your career path?

    ***Disclaimer: this will be long.***

    I have been very torn lately trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Part of the problem being that I don't want to grow up at all. For the past five years, I've been using DH's medical adventures as an excuse to not making any decisions. "I have to stay in the field that makes money and is flexible enough to find a new job if we have to move..." I refused to even think about grad school because I kept repeating that we can't afford any more loans and I don't know where I'll be living in a few years. Now I'm realizing that as we're approaching the end of training, I will be running out of excuses.

    I'm interested in how everyone made the decisions that they made. I consider staying at home with the kids as a career too. Once DH is out of residency, I'll be able to really do almost anything - grad school, continue working, switch careers, get pregnant and stay home, etc. He's being very supportive, even if I decide not to work.

    These are the choices I've come up with so far:
    1) Status quo - go with the flow with minimal effort on my part
    2) Take GRE & GMAT and see which score is higher, then choose a school that way
    3) Take GRE only and apply for Ph.D. program in Russian Lit (this has been my secret unattainable dream for years but I'm also afraid that I won't like it and will suck)
    4) Take GMAT only and apply to Business School (I've been in the field for years and I'm good at it but don't really like it)
    5) Quit current job and work in high-end retail (i.e. Neiman Marcus) - minimum wage but great employee discounts (I get to dress people and change my wardrobe with every season but it's hard work for very little money)
    6) Have babies and stay home with them (sort of a cop out option)
    7) Quit job, stay home and eat bon-bons all day

    May be I should do a poll and you guys will decide what I should do with my life.

  • #2
    2) Take GRE & GMAT and see which score is higher, then choose a school that way
    I know this is a short reply. But on first glance, this is the only item on your list that has me alarmed (for you). The differences in time, money, skill sets used, potential careers etc. will be very real depending on your choice of graduate programs. I wouldn't leave that largely up to which standardized test you do better in. Decide for yourself which grad school option (if any) fits with your skills, priorities, goals, finances, and then prepare (through Kaplan for instance) to do well on a particular exam. Just my two cents.

    Comment


    • #3
      Go with your passion.

      Seriously, you have an opportunity to try something that you're passionate about- so who cares if you hate it and drop out? You'll never know unless you try it.

      I say- go for Russian Lit, screw the $- that's what you're suffering through the medical lifestyle for- no it's not like it was back in the day, but a physician can still afford to have a spouse attend school.

      We have plenty of returning students here- Matt and Luanne immediately come to mind.

      Jenn

      and to answer your question, I did an internship my senior year of college working with developmentally disabled senior citizens who were recently deinstitutionalized and I was DONE. No career path deviations from there- (except for the chocolate factory in grad school and one year at a homeless shelter)

      I have since done just about every job one can imagine in the field- from running an agency to a federal inspector to driving a van (also in grad school) to living with a DD married couple.

      That is MY passion and I was lucky to find it early on. You need to do the same. It sure makes going to work a heck of a lot more fun.

      Comment


      • #4
        Okay, well, hmm those are some markedly differentl options, and I do not think any of us can decide which path is right for you. Much as I would like everyone to decide the same for me, as I am torn with what to do when I grow up as well. Being a stay-at-home parent, I have always viewed it as my interim career until the kids are in school. Well one already is, and the other is a few short years away. I suppose I could make up for lost time and focus on me, go to the spa, shop, etc., and retain my full-time mom status with a lot more me interspersed. After all, haven't I deserved this?

        My career amibition has always been to be a doctor and go to med school. In light of how I am currently viewing the medical profession and it's "suck the life out of everyone it touches" ability, I am less inclined to pursue that goal. It has always been my dream, but I just don't think I am cut out for doing this again. Plan B would be a Physician's Assistant. Plan C would be teaching sex education and women's health issues at a college.

        All of these options require more schooling. With my current degree, I can't really get a job I want. So, do I give up and live the life of shallow frivolity, or do I pursue a secondary choice career to make myself "fullfilled." I don't have the first clue.

        I think we both need to reflect on what we really want and what is most important to us without considering what other people want for us or think. Then again, that hasn't helped me so far. What do I want anyway?

        Good luck, and I hope you figure it out.
        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


        Comment


        • #5
          Kevin, my undergrad degree is in both Econ & Russian Lit, so to me the two exams would probably be equally challenging. I don't necessarily view them as having two distinct skill sets. They cost the same to take and instead of taking the same test over, I would just take two different ones. I kind of view this option as a coin toss, since I can't decide between the two sides of my brain, may be fate will do that for me.

          Jenn, when I was a senior, my Russian Lit professors were trying to convince me to stick with the field, but DH was already in med school and I refused to live the impoverished grad student lifestyle. Instead I took whichever job offer had more $$$ attached to it and haven't looked back (at least until now). Plus my parents still think that a Ph.D. is not a career but a hobby and I'm still deep down afraid to disappoint them.

          Heidi, if I only knew what I really want and what was more important to me. I wish I was as passionate about something as DH is about medicine. He can be sitting on a white sandy beach staring at the blue waves and thinking of all the cool procedures he's missing on. Me, I like to sleep, eat, shop and read. But I have a hard time imagining that lfestyle paying big bucks or even anything.

          Comment


          • #6
            PS- the Stay at Home thing is great, but knowing myself and knowing what I do about you, I am soooo glad that I got the career thing out of the way.

            I have an amazing amount of respect for those who have made the parenting path their first career, but I had to make it my second. I needed to work, to experience getting my Masters, to be the head honcho and I needed to do it to build up my confidence to do the SAHM thing.

            I'd be freaking miserable if I didn't have an "out". I knew that if it appeared that either he or I were miserable with the SAHM options, I could always go back to work and he'd be perfectly happy in a pre-school. As for when we move, I plan on looking for a job, but it depends entirely on where we go.

            Jenn

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            • #7
              Russian Lit!! Russian Lit!!

              Seriously, if you love it, do it. Though first make sure it's not a passing fancy -I used to gobble up those 400 page Dostoevsky and Goncharov and Tolstoy tomes, and now I can't stomach them (I guess reading in the original language must be alot different).
              (did you hear the one about the 19th century Russian novelist who committed suicide by jumping off his manuscript?)

              As to how I chose my career path, my initial reaction would be "what career path"? But I majored in math undergrad, tried being an actuary :z , went back for my masters, worked in a large corporation for awhile, and then went back for my PhD and supposedly decided on a "career path," only to be sidetracked by fatherhood. And now I'm thinking about a new career.

              So roll with the punches, I say. Nothing you do is permanent. If you enjoy the process of getting the PhD and especially if you can get a fellowship or assistanship, it's worth doing. If you don't enjoy the process, then even as a means to an end, it's not worth doing.
              Enabler of DW and 5 kids
              Let's go Mets!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How did you decide on your career path?

                The following advice is worth what you've paid for it :

                1) Status quo - go with the flow with minimal effort on my part maybe

                2) Take GRE & GMAT and see which score is higher, then choose a school that way I agree with Kevin, I wouldn't pick based on this

                3) Take GRE only and apply for Ph.D. program in Russian Lit (this has been my secret unattainable dream for years but I'm also afraid that I won't like it and will suck) While I agree with Jenn that you should follow your passion, I don't think you sound so passionate about this (considering it's one of seven options on your list). But only you really know, of course. I think getting a PhD in the humanities is one of those things that's a "don't do it unless you can't picture yourself doing anything else." And I'm not sure what you'd do six years from now with PhD in hand--you don't sound that interested in the whole nationwide-hustle-for-a-tenure-track-position thing. Adjunct? That might not be so bad. I just think the opportunity cost for this one is going to be really high when you're coming out of a high-paying field, and that can suck a lot of the fun out of it.

                4) Take GMAT only and apply to Business School (I've been in the field for years and I'm good at it but don't really like it) how much do you not really like it? Do you hate it? Would the MBA get you a position you would like more?

                5) Quit current job and work in high-end retail (i.e. Neiman Marcus) - minimum wage but great employee discounts (I get to dress people and change my wardrobe with every season but it's hard work for very little money) I think you would love this for about six months and then it would be "What have I done?" I know someone who did this and it turned out to be very disillusioning. Her beloved retail soul-mate institution was a lot less appealing from the inside.

                6) Have babies and stay home with them (sort of a cop out option) Not the right option for you right now (as is implied by use of the term "cop out" )

                7) Quit job, stay home and eat bon-bons all day also great for a few months and then definitely not great

                My bottom line: I think you should stay where you are at the moment and take some Russian Lit courses at night and see if it ignites you. I think you'll either be like "Yes! This is even greater than I remember and I feel totally intellectually alive and I have to get started right now on my life's work in Russian Lit!" or you'll be like "I love Russian Lit but it should be my sideline and not my work."

                Then either do the PhD or do the MBA, depending.
                Married to a hematopathologist seven years out of training.
                Raising three girls, 11, 9, and 2.

                “That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect.”
                Lev Grossman, The Magician King

                Comment


                • #9
                  Julie, THANK you for the analysis. I wrote a reply in which I pointed out that the parallels between my "fork in the road" and Vishenka's are ridiculous in how closely they match. But the post got eaten before I could submit it, I guess I have bad posting karma.

                  Right now we are single-minded about becoming parents; we pretty much want me pregnant by June. When planning for life after the match, I could: assume I'll be pg and stay home waiting for the little critter to bake; plan to go back to school (graduate school in physics? law school? teacher education?) with flexible plans in case we have a little critter; plan to find a career track that is roughly in line with my current resume (a hodge-podge) but with flexible plans/generous maternity benefits in case we have a little critter; or gosh knows.

                  Breaking it down into options and where those options lead helps immensely...
                  Alison

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    To address some of Julie's advice/concerns.

                    I guess you're right, I think I would enjoy the process of getting a Ph.D. more than the end result. I certainly can't see myself clawing to get the tenured track. My idea of teaching is a bit idealistic - small seminar-type class where I discuss some of my favorite books with others who like them. I really miss being among highly charged intellectually stimulating environment. All my friends are either sleep deprived new parents or too preoccupied with work and industry publications to have time/desire for reading and discussing literature. May be just taking one night class a semester will be close to meeting my needs. And then take it from there.

                    I don't necessarily hate being in business/finance and have over the years switched to a somewhat lower pay in exchange for higher quality of life. But I always felt that I just fell into it by default as oppose to coinsceously choosing the field. MBA would give me access to more interesting jobs but I won't enjoy the process. And a part of me is holding back because I feel that to really use my MBA, I will have to give my career more than I'm ready to.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Julie,

                      You raise a great and thought-provoking question......My 'career path' (insert snorting, wildly laughing smiley here) had been...a winding,bumpy path. I started out with a psych major but quickly tired of all of the 'theories' by Freud, Erickson, Jung, etc....they only thing that 'lit my fire' was the biological psychology class.....I thought that although environment etc certainly play a role, that biology (in my eyes) could have an equal if not graeter impact.

                      So I started taking bio classes...decided on pre-med...and then went to Germany to study...where I met my dh, got accepted to med school..and then ended up married, having babies and putting things on the back burner.

                      The sahm thing was fun all by itself for about 18 months...until dh's residency brought me to my knees and I felt the walls closing in on me. So..I went back to school and studied what I had been passionate about earlier..bio..and ended up with my MS in bio...thinking someday I would go and get that MD or PhD or ... etc.

                      HAHAHA! After living through residency/fellowship, etc. my desire to do anything at all in the medical field is pretty much...gone now....really. I thought that the biology would be intellectually stimulating to me and that I'd have the chance to really exchange ideas, do interesting research, etc...what I found at the university level is disappointing at best (though Angie, with her PhD might have a diff experience). It's so not about the exchange of ideas....and you end up teaching huge classes full of kids that for the most part seem only to care about getting an A and doing as little actual work for it as possible.....You get caught up in politics and political bs and the PhDs that I know doing research are doing what they can get money for and not what they are passionate about. I was warned that getting my PhD would only be worth it if "I couldn't imagine doing anything else" and could accept the idea that I might not be able to find a job when I was done.

                      So...I don't know what my 'career' will be in a few years when my kiddos are all in school....up here..in the frozen tundra...in Minnesota...near Kelly ...in the middle of nowhere...on I-94 :>

                      I think you've gotten great advice about starting off taking the classes you feel passionate about.

                      Did you do your ugrad in the Ukraine? It certainly is a much different eduational system, isn't it? I found my studies in Germany to be much more about learning than about grades.
                      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by PrincessFiona

                        So...I don't know what my 'career' will be in a few years when my kiddos are all in school....up here..in the frozen tundra...in Minnesota...near Kelly ...in the middle of nowhere...on I-94 :>
                        Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
                        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by PrincessFiona
                          It's so not about the exchange of ideas....and you end up teaching huge classes full of kids that for the most part seem only to care about getting an A and doing as little actual work for it as possible.....You get caught up in politics and political bs and the PhDs that I know doing research are doing what they can get money for and not what they are passionate about.
                          Wow - you sound like a jaded assistant professor - you'd fit right into some departments. I don't know - I LOVED my time in grad school - and though I didn't want to do the professor tenure track grant writing thing, the time I spent getting my PhD was the best time of my life. Even the TA-ing that I did was wonderful - I found some slackers in classes, but for the most part the students wanted to learn. And there were some idiots in the lab too, but most of my colleagues were intelligent and stimulating.
                          The frustrations of grad school were intense, but the successes were extremely rewarding. And everyone you're around is in the same boat, so socially it ended up being very comfortable. That's why some advisors need to force their students out - otherwise they'd stay forever! and some do...
                          Enabler of DW and 5 kids
                          Let's go Mets!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I loved my time in grad school too, fluffhead...it was the teaching job afterwards that turned me from an optimistic, full-of-ideas instructor into the cynical, sarcastic witch that I am now :> Truth-be-told though, I still enjoy teaching AND I always try and focus on the few kids that really are interested.

                            The state u here is also becoming notorious for accepting any student who applies...because they need the money. As a result, I've had students come into class who can't multiply without a calculator....or who have never heard of DNA....and that is frustrating...there's no way around it. Then there are the pre-meds who 'know it all' and then yell at you when they don't get an A on the test...and the kids who copy/paste their papers from the internet again and again and who then have their parents call the dept. chair when you fail them.

                            All of my colleagues...except 2...were totally jaded....they were miserable, complained non-stop about students and two made comments about how 'they' should have become doctors to earn some actual money after finding out dh is a doctor.

                            If life was grad school...it would be great....and maybe teaching at a diff. university with professors who passionate about teaching would have made a difference in my attitude now. As it was, I was laughed at for being so overly optimistic.
                            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm definitely considering a PhD as well, based solely on the fact that I've done just about all that I can do within the disabilities field, unless I decided to start my own agency. Which will require either a PhD or an MBA and I already took all of the business classes when I started a second masters program in Healthcare Administration. (boooooring)

                              I think it's MY turn for some intellectual stimulation, as well. Not that "orange circle, blue sqaure" or "pajammy to the left, and pajammy to the right" isn't incredibly mind altering, it's just not mind altering in the way that my mind needs to be altered.

                              I agree with Julie- try out the Russian Lit and go for it if you're at all stimulated. and stop worrying about what other people will think- since when is education useless? Seriously! At no point will anyone ever think, "wow, what a dummy, went and got her PhD and now she's driving the carpool." They may wonder how you got there, but mostly people will be thinking, "wow, PhD, she must be f-ing SMART."

                              Jenn

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