Staying Home

I'm not sure if this is the best place to ask but I need some advice. I have been talking to a few friends and it has been making me feel very bad and guilty for wanting to stay at home when DH is done and actually has a pay check. Do people feel like it's taking a step back? I dont really LOVE working. I would much rather be at home and have kids. My DH and I have been talking about ways for me to stay home during residency and he came up with one.
Do you think there is a need for me to do day care for a couple kids who might be other residents kids? My guess is people are always looking for good day care and it would be a good match? Would you think it might be something I would have to get a license for? For a couple kids? Suggestions? Questions? Comments? Anyone...
THANKS

[DCJenn]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying at home, whether you have kids or not.

"people" will say whatever they want. Screw 'em. Only you and your husband can figure out what works best for your family.

I stayed at home for a little over a year when we got back from Russia with Nikolai and I'm glad I did. That said, I was way more than ready to plunge back into the working world.

Feel no guilt. and don't let other people attempt to make you feel guilty. and don't feel like you 'should' do day care or anything else for that matter.

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

I don't think there is anything at all with staying home. I don't "love" my job either. Financially I will probably work with the first one and then stay home with the 2nd one comes around but would stay home in a heartbeat if I could. I'm sure some think that is wasting my MBA, but not me.

[madeintaiwan]

It is such a personal choice that really only you can make. I LOVED my job as a counselor but I also LOVE staying home with the kids. I get comments here and there about not using my degree and if I'll go back to work. It bugs sometimes but I know that my staying home is the best thing for me and my family right now. DH and I grew up in a single parent homes and my mom worked her ass off as a waitress working double shifts 6 days a week and one shift on sunday. I don't resent her for a second but I really missed having her home and stuff. It is a huge financial sacrifice (I don't know after daycare who knows how much I would actually make) for me to stay home but we really feel that it is important for our kids to have at least one stable parent at home. It definitely helps to have something that you like to do a hobby or something. In regards to the babysitting. I thought about doing this myself. Having worked with abused kids and dealt with Community Care Licensing I would definitely get licensed to CYA. If you know the people really well then maybe but I might still get licensed anyway. You just never know and some states require it. If I didn't have kids I'd really consider doing this but taking care of my own kids burns me out by the end of the day. I wouldn't want my kids to have to sacrifice because their mom is all crazy from watching someone else's kids. That's jut me tho. From time to time is fine but when it become your job it is a totally different thing.

[JaneDoe]

I chose to stay at home with our kids once Dh finished residency. I'm a licensed attorney and practiced for nearly six years before I stopped working. I still have student loans that I'm paying off.

For me, I never thought that I would want to stay at home. I didn't particularly love my job, but my Mom worked full time when I was growing up and I just assumed that I would too when I had my kids. Well . . . after my dd was born that all changed. I desperately wanted to be home with my dd, but I earned over half of our income. At that point, I didn't have a choice. We could have not have paid our mortgage or student loans without my income (I was not eligible for deferment/forbearance).

Several people have made comments to me that I'm waisting my degree and my Mom has made comments to other people along the lines that I now "just stay at home". But, I don't really care. I feel that I've made the right decision for our family and I will someday return to the workforce.

I just don't want to miss out on my kids growing up. Although this stay at home with the kids is HARD WORK!

[Flynn]

It's a very personal choice.

Staying home isn't for everyone and neither is working outside the home.

For me staying home is exactly the right choice with no part time job now or on the horizon. I will definitely do more when my kids are in school full time. Whether that brings home a paycheck or not is entirely up to me. DH fully supports me in large part because residency was HORRIBLE and anything that makes me happy now is his opportunity to support ME!

Now if your family needs money to survive and you choose to stay home...that's another thread.

[migirl]

If you want to take care of other kids in order to make being a SAHM possible for you, then do it. If you want to do it because you think other people think otherwise you're just wasting you're time, then don't.

I also have a master's degree (MBA) and an undergraduate degree in engineering. I'm sure there are people who think I'm wasting my education and work experience, but who cares. I'm home with my kid, doing a job that I love (most days ). This is the most important job I'll ever have.

If you want to take care of other kids in order to make being a SAHM possible for you, then do it. If you want to do it because you think other people think otherwise you're just wasting you're time, then don't.

It can be rough though. I did it for a *short* while, and found I had a hard time prioritizng the other kids before my own. It didn't help that I had a 10 month old (mine), was pregnant, and was watching a preemie who was only 6 weeks old when I first got him. A difficult fit.

I'm only trying to warn that it can be a lot harder to do home daycare than you think it will be. The people I know who have been successful at it are very scheduled (i.e. - EVERYONE for lunch NOW. NAPTIME NOW!), and are also very clear w/the parents on when they must pay.