Parents spend $1,360/yr on What??!

[Pollyanna]

I wanted to revisit this. We have issues with spending on/for our kids. Dd5 knows that dh works so that we can eat/have a roof over our heads/clothes. She asks - when she sees things she wants - if they're too expensive for us or if they're cheap enough to buy. .

She doesn't have chores at home, because honestly, I just ask her to make her bed or put her clothes away, and she does these things without expecting that she gets cash for these tasks. My argument is she's part of the family, and she does what she is able to do to help out.

Have any of you found this to backfire? when she realizes that other kids are getting money for doing the things she knows we expect her to do just because she's "part of the family," will she start demanding cash? Dh seems to think I've got my head in the sand, because when she says "may I buy a Popsicle?" Or "I'd like this new lego set," I usually assess what it is and if I think it's reasonable, I just let her get it. Or not.

Dh grew up on an allowance, and the second he had enough for whatever he was saving for, he went hog wild and spent it all. He still does this. I am keeper of the finances, and STILL have to keep the man on an allowance (he wants it this way), so that he doesn't overspend.

Any thoughts?

We do what you do Alison. We tried allowances etc and never liked the system. Our kiddos clean or help whenever asked and don't complain. They also rarely ask for "things" so when they do if we think its reasonable we buy it. Its never been an issue, our kiddos have never demanded or even asked for money for chores. Do what works with your children and family.

[alison]

I thought it was too good to be true. . Thanks, Tara. This is the way we did it in my family, too.

[MrsK]

I do as you do regarding chores. K1 gets a 25 cent weekly allowance that is not tied to chores. But it is a privilege and he will not get his allowance if he behaves badly. We started giving the allowance to teach him about money. He likes having a little pocket change and budgets for small purchases. For instance, he knows that goat food at the petting zoo costs 25 cents/one week allowance but a Happy Meal costs $1.99 (if he goes to a particular location on a Wednesday) so he needs to save up for that. It cuts down on the "gimmies" and makes him accountable when he starts asking for stuff. Also works to teach some math skills.

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[Sheherezade]

We've not done any system when it comes to money, if I need the kids to help out, I tell them too. They also don't complain. It isn't linked to money. Sometimes when I know they need cash, I'll offer bigger jobs (clean out the basement, wash the car) for cash. My kids aren't spoiled and don't expect money for us.

As teens we've always let them provide their own money for "fun" like snacks, movies, whatever. Unreasonable purchases. Between odd jobs and money from gifts, they've always managed those expenses themselves.




Angie

[alison]

If only my kid would say "I want a Happy Meal." That has never happened. I take her after school every Friday to a cookie/ice cream shop, and this is a freaking treat for most kids. She stands there and has no clue what she wants. She doesn't want anything, so we usually split a kid's cone. She licks it twice and I eat the rest.

I should tie an allowance to food. that she consumes...

[Sheherezade]

Yeah, my kids were always pretty free from "wants". It makes them impossible to motivate when they really don't care if you take something away or promise them something. That said, I never had to deal with a kid whining for things in a store.


Angie

[alison]

Yeah, my kids were always pretty free from "wants". It makes them impossible to motivate when they really don't care if you take something away or promise them something. That said, I never had to deal with a kid whining for things in a store.


Angie

Yes! This exactly. Sometimes I wish I could bribe M to do stuff. Especially when they're younger like she is, it would be so great if she could want someTHING versus someONE to play with.

[PrincessFiona]

I have to say that our kids are all over the board on this. We've been fairly inconsistent about whether we've paid for chores/given an allowance. For the last few years, we've offered no allowance, but have occasionally paid out a little for big jobs they help with.
Even though we have paid our kids for chores/jobs from time-to-time, they will all do chores when asked without expectation of cash.
It seems that the younger they are the more likely they are to ask for a toy/treat when we are out shopping. The older kids kind of get the idea that money doesn't grow on trees and using the bank card takes money directly from our account.

I'm lucky in that most of my teens want to work in order to have the independence to buy their own things. I have to force my oldest to take $20 from me in certain circumstances, which is a really bizarre thing. I feel if he is babysitting for me though, he shouldn't have to buy the pizza...

I'm not sure that I'm convinced that paying kids allowance/money is a bad thing. It hasn't harmed my kids when we've done it.