WCI Blog: The Non-Physician Spouse Handling the Finances

[SoonerTexan]

https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/be...-the-finances/

Here's one for the ladies (and men) on here...I know I'm not the only one who does the money thing.

[MAPPLEBUM]

Decent read It's funny. I knew you were active on that site, meticulous in deciding when to leave your previous job, and yet I didn't know you controlled the purse strings. I'm so sexist!

I think it really has to do with the couple, and it's weird how prone we are to gravitating towards gender norms. I was never taught anything about personal finance. My parents are terrible with money. So I am not the only child out of all the siblings who has a particular interest in not making the same mistakes. Is that it? No. It was intern year, our finances were still separated and he got behind on his loan payments. Just like everything else I took on the responsibility because no matter how much I hate doing all the things, I even more detest when things are done badly. Fast forward 6 years, that's one responsibility I took on that I would not easily relinquish.

But this blog post-- maxing out pre retirement accounts in training? Holy cow. We were able to save but not like that. Either they live in a seriously LCOL area or the author makes way more than they let on.

BTW was the author male or female? it doesn't matter but I'd give WCI mad cred for featuring a gay guest poster.

https://www.whitecoatinvestor.com/be...-the-finances/

Here's one for the ladies (and men) on here...I know I'm not the only one who does the money thing.

[SoonerTexan]

Decent read It's funny. I knew you were active on that site, meticulous in deciding when to leave your previous job, and yet I didn't know you controlled the purse strings. I'm so sexist!

Oh heck yes. DH doesn't know how to sign into our bank account and I've been on him for months to get a new PIN (he cant remember his) so he can use his debit card again. For his part he listens to what I have to say and we make the major decisions together. And he's not a spender (except for bike stuff), so we are good. But the strategy and day-to-day is all me. He trusts me completely...whether or not he 100% should haha.

But this blog post-- maxing out pre retirement accounts in training? Holy cow. We were able to save but not like that. Either they live in a seriously LCOL area or the author makes way more than they let on.

BTW was the author male or female? it doesn't matter but I'd give WCI mad cred for featuring a gay guest poster.

Based on the picture and caption, I think it is a "she" named Ryan. Yeah, it is impressive. We will be able to make some serious headway in this area this year, but it is primarily due to moonlighting. I do know one couple that paid for med school cash out of her (probably pretty good--she was IT like me) salary and lived on a crazy budget. I couldn't have done that. I admit I'm not quite as hard core as a lot of the people on that site. We have serious goals and we intend to ditch the debt ASAP (hopefully within the first year of training if we are lucky), but we could have done it sooner if we had made different decisions. Like if I had continued working, we spent less on our kids, etc. I'd probably also be a miserable bitch (because I was when I was working) if we did, though!

[spotty_dog]

Um, shit! I'm supposed to be handling things! I hate it when I log in to the investment site and find a massive backlog of funds. Gah.

But yeah, we didn't even have student loans, but on a single resident salary? We did not save more than $500 per year toward retirement until DH started majorly moonlighting. Anyway saving during residency is about establishing a habit more than anything.

There is definitely a gender norm thing going on. My mom tried to give me books about investing when I was a teenager, but I was a deer in the headlights. I hated checking my bank balance during college. But finally during residency I read Suze Orman's Women and Money and it really made me feel better about the whole "I don't know anything about this, but I feel I'm supposed to" thing.

[SoonerTexan]

The poster mentioned an early inheritance that was put toward student loan payoff--maybe that was part of it. We can never know! I think it is fair to realize that some people just cant during training and that is fine! We had a lot of things stacked in our favor that made some of this possible and not everybody has those things.

[Thirteen]

We couldn’t save during training: we largely grocery shopped out of the hospital cafeteria, FYI. 😂 Shameless.

In our house, I run the financial show. We did make a master log in our will in case it all goes sideways and I die, but I took over 6 months into our marriage during training and I haven’t looked back since.

We took a major hit with health stuff, but we are rebuilding.



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[lukram]

I run the show in our family - boss lady! 😂 I think it's my math brain and organizational style. Both of our parents are responsible and somewhat traditional, but my dad taught me a lot. I took classes in college too even though I was in engineering. We're only pgy2 but career changers, so he's 35 and I'm 39. Not as much time to sort all this out 😕 #weold
I'm definitely considering taking the White Coat Investor classes when we finish training - I'm nowhere close to an expert, so much to learn.

Also the author is a woman - her name is Ryan. I agree - that's aggressive saving during training!! But we have children so I'm sure that's part of it.

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[civilspouse]

Yep, I’m in charge over here too. We both know what’s going on but I set all our budgets, handle the day to day stuff etc. I’ll admit that I’m good at the big picture, we need to contribute this much to this IRA, but struggle with what that is then invested in. It overwhelms me. DH is better at that so I usually leave it to him but he doesn’t really have time to pay much attention to it. I’ve been meaning to educate myself more so I can take it over. I’ve been reading WCI and other things but that part really doesn’t interest me and I still don’t feel comfortable.

We saved for retirement during med school except for the last year when we had two full time in daycare (that is expensive!). I’ve been staying home during residency and we went to a higher cost of living area so we just contributed a bit here and there as we could. We have grand plans for saving next year when DH is done with training.


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[weeniegeniewife]

I’m also in charge! DH has not logged into our bank account for over 11 years. 🤣 He trusts me 1000%.


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[SoonerTexan]

Well hey there!

[gcuthbe1]

I am also in charge and have been since we got engaged, although we had many financial discussions prior to that lovely event. And thank god bc yep #2 the "keeping up" aspect would've encouraged DH to go way crazier with the engagement ring than I would've ever wanted (yep I gave him a budget for the engagement ring and he stuck to it).

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[Windsurfer]

Well hey there!

DW has been out of med school for 27 years and we were both already maxed out on RRSP contributions (Canadian version of IRA) back then already. We were in debt briefly when we bought our first house, but paid it off within 4 years. I manage the family investments and all of my salary goes into those investments. DW manages her RRSP, or more accurately, pays MD Management to manage it for her in exchange for a fee. My RRSP and the family investments are self-directed (no fee) using a market-value-balanced combo of Low-MER ETFs and bonds.

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[LynnAlicia]

Highly recommend Mr. Money Mustache to everyone. Includes investing advice. His posts are fun and I connect with them because I used to live in that part of Colorado. Even though his philosophy is basically completely the opposite of our families (Work as little as possible vs. work as much as possible) the basic concepts are valid for everyone.

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/blog/



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[spaz]

We do it together. I do the monthly budget and we meet quarterly to go over it and then he invests what he needs to with my input. He keeps up with the investment stuff, but I know where everything is. Our first year we lived off $20,000 a year but did take out a small loan to pay for his exam and traveling to find a residency program. The next year when he started residency, he made $30,000 and we felt rich living off of that. Then we saved my entire teaching salary. We had no kids, so it was easy. We paid of my small school loan and the loan we took off in residency. After 5 years, we had a guaranteed salary of $200,000 but we chose to live off of 50,000. We invested and saved the rest. We had to use some of the savings when we had to eat what he killed so didn't have a salary for a couple of months. Right now we live on about 1/4 of what he makes and then give away, invest or splurge with the rest. We actually give away 25 percent of his salary right now.

[houseelf]

^that is super impressive! Seriously. Way to go. My financial literacy and maturity kicked in much later.