Kids and Residency?

[Ravenclaw]

Since DH's training will probably be a gazillion years long, I was wondering how residents with a family survive on their measly salary? I am hoping to be a SAHM when I have kids - it's really important to me but will we be able to do that if he's still a resident or fellow??
Thanks.

[Vanquisher]

A lot of that depends on where you live and HOW you live and how much debt you are carrying with you.

I do it. I have been a SAHM for 8 1/2 years through med school and residency. I have only had a part-time gig from home for the last year, and it is a very meager addition to our income. It defnitely can be done. You have to make the appropraite decisions to make it happen (ahem...cost of living). We have a TON of debt too.

[DCJenn]

Leyla-

You have asked the #2 Most Asked question on this site. (#1 being when should we have kids)

Yes, it can be done, some times for some people. It depends entirely on your prior debtload, where you live, things like insurance costs, vehicle costs (do you need a car? If you do can yours fit a child and their stuff, etc.) Does you income keep your family afloat now? If it does, then it'll be very hard to let it go.

It's doable, it's not easy, it's not to be undertaken lightly. I think most people who are able to do it are able to justify the soul-sucking debt with the thought that they're able to spend time with their kids. Some people are not willing to allow anyone else to raise their kids. Some people have to support the family. I also think some people are more mentally able to be home with their children for years on end. (turns out I'm not one of them)

This is one of those topics that will require you and your spouse sitting down and looking at the cold hard cash situation. and then thinking about it and rethinking about it. I wish we had realized the impact that my leaving work would have. and the impact of money stress should not be underestimated...

Short answer: absolutely it can be done
Long Answer: think long and hard and know what you're getting yourself into. (mentally, physically, psychological and monetarily!

Bottom Line: life is a crap shoot and you need to do what feels right for you and you'll work it out eventually.

[mommax3]

We did it, but we were able to because DH had joined the military and his military residency paid better than a civilian one would have. We knew we wanted to have our children fairly early on, and I really, really wanted to be home with them......those reasons were actually what prompted DH to take the military scholarship for med school.

Now that we are on the other side and OUT of the military, we sometimes wonder how bad it would have been to have stayed civilians and waited four years longer than we did, which would have meant that I had my first at age 30 rather than at 26, halfway through DH's residency rather than halfway through med school. It is all water under the bridge now, I guess. It is a big transition no matter when you do it!

Sally

[Vishenka69]

We chose not to for more than just monetary reasons. Luckily DH's residency is only 4 years and we're both young enough to wait. Anything is doable and you just need to decide what works for you and your DH.

My suggestion would be to try to get used to living on one income, to the extent you can, and save some money to help get through the years when you aren't working.

Working part-time (after kids) was a great option for me and helped us out quite a bit.

[migirl]

We've only been doing it for 8 months now, so I'm definitely no expert!

But, it's been working out for us so far. My salary wasn't a huge contribution to our household income, so going without isn't such a big deal. Things are definitely tighter, but we're managing. It also helps that we don't have any debt other than our mortgage (i.e., school loans are paid off, cars are paid for, no credit card balances). I think if we weren't in such good financial shape before having Jack - no matter how badly I wanted this - I would have had to think twice about it.

I agree with Jenn and Nellie. Take a good look at your finances, have an honest conversation about where you are now and where you'd like to be, and try living on one income for a while to see what it's like.

[DCJenn]

Oh, I have one thing to add- even though I'm working again, we are still living entirely on my husband's salary and I have my piddly checks directly deposited into our ING Direct savings account. Otherwise, we'll never have any money saved. We also have to have an act of God reason to take money out of there. (things like- ok, we need to pay the mortgage and the rent and we're short X amount of dollars. or family emergency flights to say, a person's grandmother's 90th birthday party)

Jenn

[Michele]

We're going to be figuring it out as we go along...thankfully, a part time salary for me is more than his resident salary so if I can at least get part time we'll be ok....but I'm scared to leave my child with a daycare (but that's another issue all my own).

[Ravenclaw]

We did live off his salary for a few months when I quit my job back in January. I calculated it out and we only saved about $100 each month! We don't have a huge amount of debt; cars are paid off, I just finished paying off my school loans, no mortgage...He still has a fairly large amount of his school loans but he's been paying more than the minimum. I'm guessing if we have kids in residency, that's the first place we'd cut since we don't need to technically be paying off as much as we do each month. DH just wants to get rid of it as soon as possible. Also we'd definitely have to live somewhere that has a low COL.
We really have to think it through with the cold hard facts even though I'm getting baby fever!!

[SuzySunshine]

Leyla, I haven't read the whole thread but my only piece of advice is that you might want to wait until your DH figures out what he's going to do about possibly changing specialties. But I agree there is no right or wrong time.

[Ravenclaw]

Yeah that's definitely what I've been thinking. All of our life plans come AFTER he figures out what he wants to do.

[Vanquisher]

Oh, and there is no way we could be paying back dh's school loans right now (mine either). I always forget that there are actually people out there that do this. Deferment is a part of our lives. Pay later.

Also, savings. I have heard other people talk of this as well. Um, yeah, that doesn't happen either. We'll do that later too.

This brings up a good point though. When you have been so broke for so long and you don't start saving until after training, what percentage of your paycheck should you put toward retirement, college accounts (my son will be 12, remember), savings, etc.?

We're lucky that dh's compensation package includes the equivalent of 20% of his salary that goes straight into retirement (on top of his salary). It's pretty much the best (and only) perk we've got. Our financial guy is putting a little more aside - but we're focusing on paying down debt right now.

[DCJenn]

Every financial adviser I have spoken to, read, listened to said basically until you get the maximum into your retirement plan don't even think about college plans. There are a lot more ways to finance college than there are to finance retirement. There isn't a Pell grant for old age homes after all.

Up until this month we put the max allowable into our retirement plan- and I stopped the 529 until we have more cash to play with. As soon as the DC crap is straight we will max the retirement again and then add to my roth IRAs.

Jenn