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Gifting Etiquette

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  • Gifting Etiquette

    Well crap. DH's uncle and aunt sent us a $50 Pizzazz Plus rotating pizza oven. We wont use it and don't have room for it, so I'm probably going to return it. Very nice of them...but now what do I do etiquette wise? We are going to see them and all sorts of relatives in Omaha for Christmas. I'm fine getting them something, but then I would be giving them something and no one else. I am making homemade truffles to hand out, but that doesn't seem like enough. What would you do?
    Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.




  • #2
    I would send them a thank you note for now. Send them something for their birthdays or a different holiday. Of course, if you want to set a precedent that you're exchanging Christmas gifts from here on out, you can bring them something for when you see them. Homemade truffles sound wonderful!
    married to an anesthesia attending

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    • #3
      I think handing out homemade truffles is perfect. (and sending a thank you note.) You guys are young and just starting out, have a new(ish) baby, your DH is still in med school...if they have any sense at all they aren't expecting a return gift.

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      • #4
        I don't think they are. They have been really generous (she sells scentsy and I have quite a collection from random things she has sent me). I just hate not giving something back. Especially since I am returning the gift.
        Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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        • #5
          Now that we're more financially stable, I go way overboard on my college-age cousins and others that I know will just smile at an extravagant gift. I would honestly be upset with them if they tried to reciprocate. I think truffles sound lovely.
          -Deb
          Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

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          • #6
            I feel your pain, some good friends of ours gave us gifts for the kids when I saw her on Wednesday - super cute, and well made Superboy and Supergirl capes. I'm sure they weren't cheap and we sure as heck make a lot more then they do. I have been wracking my brain because I know she would say don't get them anything, she doesn't cook, so I'm going to take them a big batch of homemade cookies, etc. But I do hate it when unexpected gifts come up that I feel like I have to reciprocate. I think your homemade truffles are fine, I'm sure they don't expect anything in return.
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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            • #7
              Ooh I have a gift dilemma too. One of the physicians I work with gave me a $100 gift card to a local restaurant. Ummmm holy shit! Last year, he got me a bottle of wine, so I thought maybe I could buy him a bottle this year? I work with him occasionally, but I was not expecting anything...so that gift blew me away.
              I'm just trying to make it out alive!

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              • #8
                This has always been a problem for me, especially with friends. We were raised that gifts were exchanged only between close family members and extended family celebrated together at the holidays but did not exchange gifts. I think your homemade truffles seem nice, I'm sure they'll be delighted with anything as they're not expecting anything in return.
                Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
                Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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                • #9
                  I also think that truffles are perfect! And a thank you note of course. yum.
                  -Mommy, FM wife, Disney Planner and Hoosier

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by BonBon View Post
                    I think handing out homemade truffles is perfect. (and sending a thank you note.) You guys are young and just starting out, have a new(ish) baby, your DH is still in med school...if they have any sense at all they aren't expecting a return gift.
                    I agree.

                    Originally posted by SuzySunshine View Post
                    I feel your pain, some good friends of ours gave us gifts for the kids when I saw her on Wednesday - super cute, and well made Superboy and Supergirl capes. I'm sure they weren't cheap and we sure as heck make a lot more then they do. I have been wracking my brain because I know she would say don't get them anything, she doesn't cook, so I'm going to take them a big batch of homemade cookies, etc. But I do hate it when unexpected gifts come up that I feel like I have to reciprocate. I think your homemade truffles are fine, I'm sure they don't expect anything in return.
                    A far away friend surprised me with gifts for my boys too. She has a 2yo daughter and lives in a very posh yet tiny high-rise condo that doesn't accomidate large toys very well. After replacing several gifts that were ruined when the basement flooded, I couldn't spend much for her daughter. I ended up making about 6 nice "quiet toys" like the ones that my sons enjoy, packaging them nicely in colorful pencil bags, and wrapping the whole thing up in a small snap top box so she can store them all on a shelf and including a nice letter. It turned out really cute and I hope she'll appreciate it in the spirit it was intended (thought I know her millionaire husband will not understand it). One of the best baby gifts I got was from a friend whose husband lost his job just before K1 was born. She made a set of CDs of her daughter's favorite lullibies. It was so thoughtful and my children still enjoy it.
                    Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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                    • #11
                      I actually was going to take my camera up and offer to take family portraits for everyone but I don't know if the weather will cooperate or if we will get there too late. But I feel better about it biw
                      Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                      • #12
                        Truffles and portraits sound awesome and super thoughtful especially with a note.

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                        • #13
                          If you haven't returned the gift yet I have to tell you that my friend LOVES hers. When they moved into a new home she had nothing to cook in (no kitchen, long story of a CA home, lol) so her mom sent her the Pizzaz (she at first thought it was incredibly stupid). She ending up using that thing for a year and cooked practically everything on it. I know you don't need it but it is apparently a great little appliance.

                          Oh, and I would just send a thank you. If you take pics that would be great but really nothing beyond a thank you is necessary.
                          Tara
                          Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                          • #14
                            I give a lot of gifts this time year and I don't enjoy receiving. I know that's weird. If I give something it's just the holiday spirit and I don't need/want a reciprocal gift. My advice is to send a thank you.

                            Kris
                            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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