What a difference....

Man....what a difference an hour makes! I have been walking around my house like a posessed monster for days...the walls just closing in on me!!! The kids have just been very active this week and I've just been exhausted from not sleeping enough...this getting up at 6 am to wake up children and get them on the bus is wearing thin already So anyway, the local gym had a school "lunch bunch" today...for kids of all ages...bring a sack lunch and your children and leave them for 1.5 hours....I couldn't even get them ready to do...if it hadn't been that I desperately needed an hour for myself, I'd have banished them all to their rooms....my toddler threw all of the books from the kid's bookshelf down the stairs with the help of his two older siblings...no one would get on t-shirts, socks or shoes....I took them anyway out of pure desperation for a moment alone...



And what a difference it made! Today is payday, so I went to the grocery store...all by myself!!!! WooHoo...I actually had an hour to just relax without children fighting in the background or having to change a diaper or clean up a mess! It was the absolute most incredible feeling...



I think I'm going to get a part-time job!



Kris

[houseelf]

Kris,



Whooo Hooo! Everyone needs a break sometime, especially SAHMs! Good for you!



Kelly

[DCJenn]

Kris- your story reminds me of a trip I took with a friend of mine. We established the rule that unless you're legally old enough to drink, or still breastfeeding- you can't come to girls weekend. So, it's her first trip away, and we're in the car, on the ferry going to Martha's Vineyard (winter season) and she looks at me with utter amazement and said, "Oh my god, I don't have to wipe your A**" I said no, she didn't, I've been able to do that for a while now! She had the best two days- slept, ate, read books (uninterupted) and we drank wine and ate really good seafood. It was fab.



Jenn

That is so funny, Jenn. I was just telling Janet that Thomas and I went shopping this weekend and bought diapers...and he mentioned that we had been buying them non-stop for 7 years...it occurred to me that I've been changing them non-stop for 7 years ! Of course, it's worth it....but I think that a change of scenery for a couple of hours a week would do be good. I felt so much more in control and much happier after just that one hour. I haven't had a break since we moved. We don't have friends or family nearby, so I spend too much time alone....I would just like to have the chance to go out for about 5 hours a week.................I think that should be acceptable...



Kris

I think you should do it! There is nothing like a break, and when it's a bit more regular, it's really rejeuvenating. Many people have parents that live nearby, and that provides some support and much needed time away for a dinner or a romantic overnight. We don't have that, and so we also feel that isolation. So I think that going to the gym for a couple of hours 4 mornings a week is good for me. Really good!!!



I also firmly believe that it's good for children to have other caregivers around, or other children to play with. It helps their social development. Of course, you have to make sure the care is good, and that the parenting style is compatible with your own.



I say go for it!!! You'll be a more rested and contented mother and wife.

Well, I feel like I've lived life in "extremes" lately...I've gone from being a full-time SAHM to grad student to SAHM again....My first year of grad school though, I was only gone about 8 hours a week and I think that was acceptable. My last year though I was gone much more. The last 4 semester was a full-time job, and the guilt that I felt was incredible...but I'm tired of feeling guilty. I'm a person that misses working and being around other people. I miss having a goal in front of me to work on and I have decided to stop apologizing to myself and everyone else for not wanting to be at home cooking, cleaning and wiping bums all day long....I need to find an outlet for myself. One thing that became clear to me after 9-11 is that I want to be happy...



Kris

Good for you for realizing that, Kris. I think that a lot of SAHM's think that they have to always be there for their kids. A lot also fall into the trap of thinking that no one else can take care of their child the way they can. Probably true, but sometime adequate care is fine- especailly if it for the sake of their parent's sanity! No one is a particularly good parent when they are frazzled. I have to strongly agree with Janet about how it's good for children to have other caregivers around. How many kids have you seen that only like their mom because that's the person that does everything for them? Not only is that extremely hard on mom. it's hard on the child too as they start learning coping behaviors for the life that's going to hit them when they start school.



I know, lots of advice from someone that doesn't have kids. This is really something that I've thought about a lot and that Dave & I have talked about a lot in the process of planning to have kids.



Find your break, Kris- don't feel guilty about it, don't apologize about it, none of that. Just do it & know that's it's best for you and your family



Wendy