Is this normal?!

Hi there all, I am new to this and I am needing some advice here. I was working as a Technician in a hospital and I met a very handsome, nice Resident doctor there. We hit it off great and he asked me out twice, but the hospital was so nuts, we barely had much time to speak to set up a time. Our hospital is VERY under staffed and VERY overloaded on patients right now, so much so that they had to turn many of the family waiting rooms into patient rooms, so I know it's a very stressful and horrible place to be right now. We would often talk briefly and then get back to work. Well, I decided to leave that job to focus full time on school and I had left him a note with my phone number so that we could go out like we had planned. After nearly a week, I had heard nothing. I wasn't sure he had gotten the note or had time to call, so I stopped by oneday to see him...They told me he was on Post Call working 24 hour shifts and they had no clue where he was and that I should page him so I didn't run all over looking for him. I paged him and he answered right away and when I asked him if he had time to talk he said things were chaotic for him, but that he "definitely" had time to "sneak out" and meet me at the cafe. We had a great time and really hit it off again and I thought things were going great. He told me he really wants to take me out to dinner and that he kept telling himself "I kept saying as soon as I am awake, I am going to call her! But I am doing these 24 hour shifts and constantly on call, I've had about enough of interning here! I put your note right in my folder, let me program your number into my phone so I am sure I have it!" We left off with a big hug and a promise to "Call ya, see ya later"....Now a week and a half and I have not heard a thing. Is this normal for new doctors working this awful work load or is he just avoiding me? He seemed more into me then I was to him the whole time, he's asked me out three times, but we just never make it happen...I must really like this guy to even be worried about it for so long and I am not sure what's up. I don't think he's the type to just string me along, he's seems like a decent guy, but you have to start wondering when the phone never rings...Has anybody else had this happen to them? Thanks for any advice...

[DCJenn]

Welcome to medicine.

Yes it's plausible. Unacceptable but perfectly likely.

and welcome aboard!

Jenn

How do you think I should handle it?

Thanks for the welcome and for making me feel a bit better...I am starting to think it's a little too unacceptable too...I really like him, but with each passing day, my interest is taking a nose dive...to the point where I'm not sure I will even go out with him if he does call now...how would you handle it if he calls? Should I say something? I mean, it's not like I am far enough along in the relationship to start demanding things, but it's not a good indication of things to come with him either...I don't want him to think he can pop in whenever the hell he feels like it and then ignore me for days...I am starting to have my doubts about him. What would you say to him if he called? Ideas ladies

[Stella]

Re: How do you think I should handle it?

I don't want him to think he can pop in whenever the hell he feels like it and then ignore me for days...

I have another friend going through the same thing (he's a plastics resident) and she doesn't understand why he doesn't just call her on a 30 hr shift and why he's so tired afterward. I try to tell her that this is what she'll have to expect, but....

Anyway, I'm not going to sway you one way or another, but if you can handle the sometimes there/sometimes not so much - GREAT! If not, and you're not exactly tied to him, would you regret it if you didn't go out with him?

[MissCrabette]

Welcome!
You summed up my thoughts perfectly. I'm not sure what I'd do in this situation. I think I'd probably call one last time and see if it goes anywhere from there.

Well, I do really like him and I thought we had a really great connection, but it's like...if he felt the same thing...where is he? I want to be understanding in that I know the job and hours are a nightmare right now for him and I don't expect him to call me when he's wicked busy or when he needs to sleep, but even if it's a five minute phone call to say hi and let me know he's still planning on following through...I do like him, but i am getting a little turned off...

[Meenah]

This is normal medcal life stuff!!! What kind of "technician" are you? Some techs know the hours, etc., just depends on the speciality.

I was a Radiology tech and he's a radiology resident in his transitional year. Right now he's floating around the hospital, this month he is in Peds. I do know the hours, but how long should I wait before I have just been plain old stood up, you know? I don't want to sound unsupportive, but how long before it's just a little rude?

[Meenah]

I speak only for myself, but it would be a loonnnggg time before my DH realized it was rude!! Hang in there, and let him know what you expect.

Thanks for all the advice ladies. And for your warm welcomes! I will be sure to keep you updated on what happens!

[Meenah]

Please post an introduction.

[Rapunzel]

I posted this in the introduction thread but perhaps it was more appropriate here:

Transitional year of radiology was very difficult.

But, once he actually begins his rads residency he will be much more "normal" again.

If he's still interested in you in July when his radiology residency should be beginning then you'll actually be able to date. Knowing how rads goes in residency, if he is still putting you off by August - forget about it. It will be a clear sign he's blowing you off because he WILL have more time for a social life (rads is actually a somewhat sane residency - hard work, but sane).

Well, he's only got 6 more months in the area and then when his transitional year is over he's being sent two hours away to the rad program...He must really be under my skin for me to be thinking about it this much...I just felt something with him I never had before...like this could REALLY be THE guy...

[Rapunzel]

Well, in all fairness, it sounds like you haven't really had much of an opportunity to get to know him. If he is "the one" then it will work out - if not then it is healthiest not to dwell on what "could have been."

I wish you well.

You are right, it hasn't been long...but this is the first guy I really feel I can completely be myself around...there is something so different about him to me...What I meant was that he seems like the right type of guy to have a relationship with...Someone very patient and stable and easy to talk to...I just have a good feeling about him and his character is what I meant...Other guys, I always get the sense are after the wrong things or I just don't feel as comfortable with them. I feel like from what I see he's the right type of guy I've been looking for...

Thanks, will keep you posted!