I feel really down...

Just wanted to let you know that I called just to prove to myself that I was right and that he didn't really want me. I left a message saying that if he really wanted to see me that he would find time to call and make plans and that I did want to see him, but felt he didn't genuinely want to see me. I said that either way, he should call to let me know and that I wasn't going to chase him or call anymore. It's been two days and I have heard nothing. I guess this proves it. Why he's kept playing with my head I have no clue, but he proved to me that he was. He's 30 years old and not even mature enough to call and tell me he's not interested.

[Rapunzel]

Several thoughts:

1) At this point you DO appear to be "chasing" him. You are repeatedly contacting him (rather than vice versa).

2) He would be potentially "playing with your head" if he were to call you back now. Or, at least I gather that you would interpret it that way based upon your past posts.

3) Him not calling you back is as clear a sign as could be. He doesn't have to call you back to tell you he isn't interested. Not calling you back is not calling you back.

4) Knowing what radiology intern year is like I will say that you should wait until July and then see if he is interested in a relationship (because at that point he will be a bit more free). IF he isn't calling you or taking you out because of time issues then he will be more amenable at this point.

5) Having said that, in my experience if a man is truly interested in you he will move heaven and earth to please you. This guy isn't doing that so I don't understand why you haven't moved on from a relationship that never existed?

Chances are good that this is a man of some intelligence (having gone through medical school successfully and now in a radiology residency - which rads is super-competitive). And, I don't know many intelligent men that take to a woman being a bit, well, desperate. So, my advice is to move on with your life.

Just curious - how old are you?

I am not desperate...He asked me out and I followed up..he told me to call him if I still wanted to see him and I called, these have been his requests! I have called him twice and both times he has asked me to do so and then ditched me and that is screwing with my head. I could have other guys, I just happened to really like this one...And if I'm not mistaken, many of you told me that him not contacting me was probably job related.

I won't bother you again, just wanted to let you know what happened and that he really was playing me...

[Meenah]

Time to move on. It is starting to be a bit "stalkerish".

Stalkerish?! He asked me to call him!!!! I told him I didn't want to see him and he still asked me...I gave him what he wanted and I put an end to the whole thing...He kept it going...bye

[Momo]

Having said that, in my experience if a man is truly interested in you he will move heaven and earth to please you. This guy isn't doing that so I don't understand why you haven't moved on from a relationship that never existed?

...this is true...even w/ the crazy busy life of docs in training...if they truly are interested they tend to try a little harder than he has...I have seen this situation b4 w/ a good friend...I tried to tell her that it was time to move on,even though he was in a busy fellowship, because he wasn't trying hard enough.

[Stella]

Frankly, I would just recommend you don't date doctors.

[alison]

It sounds like you *do* like this guy and the situation is really bothering you, otherwise you wouldn't start a thread with the fact that you're feeling really down. My dh would have a hard time processing what he's supposed to do (am I supposed to call her, was she supposed to call me, is she mad at me, am I supposed to be mad at her????) and would just cut his losses and get out of something that seems so convoluted.

Out of curiousity, why are you on a board called Medical SPOUSE ? By name is shows it's geared towards those in serious relationships with someone in medicine. I think you are putting to much into a casual possibility. Any man no matter what he does or how busy he is will let you know he wants you, their pretty basic that way.

[alison]

I love that book!

[Flynn]

You guys are crackin' me up here!!

8)

SO, I am just a noob to this site but I have to tell you hun...dating a doctor/med student is not the glorious situation some people envision it to be...so if it upsets you that he doesn't call or make time for you now...you would have been miserable later anyways.