Please keep us in your thoughts...

We've been squelching some fear over the last two weeks because we discovered a lump in our 2 1/2 year old's abdomen....it is above his naval and is unlikely to be a hernia...it is the size of a marble and is solid.....we had hoped to know something yesterday when we saw the pediatrician, but after she and her colleague examined him they've sent us over to the hospital today for an ultrasound to make sure that it isn't "invasive". I have a mix of feelings, including profound fear and sadness, but there are several benign things that it could be...If you stop in today and read this, please send a warm thought our way.



Kris

Kristin,



You all are in my thoughts and prayers. There are always things you tell yourself in your head when something is up with your kids, but that doesn't always stop the fear that is in your heart. I am praying that it is nothing to worry about, and that your family will have peace until you know what is going on.



Sally

[Meenah]

Kris,

My thoughts are with you and your family. Please know we are all here for you. Feel free to call if there is anything I can do.

Luanne

Kris,



We are all here for you. I have been thinking about your family all day.

Thank you for your thoughts...I have really worked to push this fear to the back burner over the holidays, but seeing the doc yesterday was one of my worst days....Seeing the shocked look on her face, hearing her say that she'd "never felt anything like this" and calling in a colleague...my mind began racing...they talked about finding out whether or not it was "invasive"...Thomas and I had already discussed the possibilities for nearly two weeks and Thomas had mentioned only the malignant ones....I was horrified yesterday...I was stunned...I saw our life in slow motion...as if it were a movie that was happening...Articles that I had read about the experiences of other mothers came back up in my mind and I saw myself in them...feared that it could be happening to us. One of my friends from residency lost her 5 year old to a neuroblastoma while she was pregnant with her third...suddenly, I saw this woman in a new light...before, I had peered at her from behind the safety of the "it will never happen to me" curtain, as if the world is somehow divided into two groups...I asked myself what I'd done to deserve this...my answer..what has anyone ever done to deserve this.. I blamed nursing my child into toddlerhood, not donating to the Ronald McDonald House at the McD's drivethrough..I've slept poorly and been anxious....



I was ok today until right before the appt. I got online and started reading about the worst case scenarios and was shaking so hard...I didn't even know if I had the courage to go to the appt. though I knew I had to. Janet picked me up let me be afraid and then pushed me forward.



The irony struck me as Alex laid back with the ultrasound wand on his tummy...of just three years ago and the ultrasound wand "discovering" him within me...the beating heart...but I was staring at a 30mm mass that looked quite frankly to be quite frightening to me.



We were taken to the surgeon and are thankful to learn that it is likely a ventral hernia of fatty tissue from the colon? Alex will have his surgery on the 24th so that it can be removed and we can be sure...but the doc did not sound like he felt that there was any reason to be alarmed...I'd like to say that I feel so relieved and so much better....but I think I'm still in a bit of shock from feeling so frightened....I want to get the surgery behind us to be 100% certain, but I think that it will all be ok.



But somewhere today, a mom wasn't as lucky as me...and it really breaks my heart.



Kris



I'm sorry to be so dramatic and overly emotional...this has been a real roller coaster ride. I am seeing life very differently tonight...I feel like we've all been given a second chance.

[DCJenn]

Oh, Kris-



I've been thinking about you all day! I'm so glad things have turned out as they have. Please keep us posted and remember that there is a huge group of people out here thinking about you. Just put out the call and any one of us would be there to help in anyway.



Jenn

Kris,

I have just now got online today and was shocked and scared for you and your family. I am so glad that it turned out the way it did. When it comes to our children, I think we all become dramatic and think of the worse case scenarios. I can only imagine the roller coaster you have been on. Again, I am so glad everything turned out well! Take a long hot bath and try to relax. Life is a wonderful gift.



Robin

[Meenah]

Kris,

I have been worried for you. You must feel such relief hearing it is probably a hernia. I'm sure the 24th can't get here soon enough for you. I agree with Robin, take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine.

Luanne

Oh my goodness! I'm reading all this after you've been to the doctor, so it's a huge relief to know that it is probably just a hernia. it's still pretty scary to have your child go through surgery. My thoughts and prayers will be with you as you go through this.



Try to relax some, show your kids that you love them, and don't keep yourself awake at night worrying.



Wendy

Thanks...I do feel a bit better today after a good night's sleep and some time/space to sort out my feelings. It is so hard when something happens to your children....I have a new perspective right now...I know that the surgery will be another tough obstacle, but considering the fears that I had, it seems quite mild. They will be able to do it as an outpatient and he should be home by 10 or 11am on the same day....so I'm hopeful that it won't be too traumatic.



You know, I came here to you all before even talking to my own mom....You all have become an important part of my life. Thank you so much for caring.



Kris

[Meenah]

Kris,

We are always here.

Luanne

[houseelf]

Kris,



I've been gone at a continuing education class so I am just now reading this passage. I feel terrible that you have had to go through this emotional rollercoaster.Please let me know what I can do to help. I'm so happy that this turned out relatively o.k. for you guys.



You and your family are in my thoughts.

Kelly

Thank you all so much..I'll definately keep you posted on how things turn out.



kris

kris -

how scary for your family! i am thinking of the little one (and all of you!) tell him to think of the special treats that he will undoubtedly receive post-surgery!

how ironic - my mom went into the hospital this last weekend for severe abdominal pain and they thought it was a hernia for a few hours - it turned out to be a benign cyst in the kidney so she is also headed for surgery in a few weeks.

tons and tons of thoughts going out to you!