How did you.....

[rockgirl]

deal with your DH stressing over the match?

There are so many unknowns.... it's a waiting game at this point, a harsh cruel waiting game for one whole month especially in a competitive specialty!!! ugghhh it's making me stress even more!

stories & situations appreciated!

[Michele]

We were both just grumpy and cranky and got on each other's nerves. We had 2 matches b/c he was ophtho (early match for a pgy-2 spot) but then the program he matched at for ophtho had already rejected him for transitional year. He ended up at the same program, but it took many phone calls on his part, the med school and the ophtho program to the IM guys here. I'm glad it's over!

Oh and we were trying for Daegan at the same time!

Sure lots of beer, j/j but it couldn't hurt Seriously we're biting our nails too. I'm just trying to get things done that will be need to be done regardless of the match - figure out about house loans, moving costs, and I'm sappose to start packing so I can be productive in my angst!

GL!!!

[SuzySunshine]

I think the only way you can reduce the stress once your list is done is know its done, know you've done everything you could and just wait.

I know it sucks but know that everyone else in the medical world is, has been, or will be in those shoes and survived (for the most part).

Good luck to everyone matching next month, I remember our match day like it was yesterday.

[DCJenn]

I was so clueless as just a girlfriend that I had no idea what the big deal was. and the military does their match in December so we didn't have to stress as long as the civilians.

J.

[alison]

I think when all the lists were finalized - on our part and on the programs' part, you just had to tell yourself that it was out of your hands. I know it's hard....

For us, if dh didn't match, he would have had (literally) to get a job at Starbucks or something. He wouldn't have been able to return to Germany to work as a physician (immigration/Green Card laws), so he would have been stuck here until the next Match OR he was allowed to travel again.

I lost hair. I would have had to uproot to Germany.

So, obviously, I didn't handle this very well!

[medpedspouse]

My DH is very laid back. I was the basketcase. He kept reminding me that I could either stress while waiting to find out about outcome X OR I could enjoy life and still end up with outcome X. As someone stated, it is out of your hands now. You do not have much control over what happens on Match day. You do, however, have control over the quality of your days until then. I said he kept reminding me because this is sooo not my nature. I'd be ok for a couple of days and then go back to stress mode until reminded. So, I can only suggest to try it one day at a time.

Wow - time flies - even if you are not having fun (i.e. training). This March will mark 6 years since our match day.

Hang in there.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: How did you.....

My DH matched in neurosurgery (NSG), which is an early match (in January, not March). What was stressful was the fact that there is no notification ahead of the Match Day to those candidates who do not match and would have to try to scramble in. (With the general March Match, candidates who do not match are notified a couple of days ahead of Match Day and the scramble process begins). With NSG, you find out that you didn't match at the exact same time you would find out if you did match and where.

Basically, the results were faxed to the medical schools around 7:00 AM and the dean began calling the students around 8:00 AM. Neither of us really slept the night before. We were up around 4:00 AM. I called off work that morning and we just waited. We waited and waited and waited. By 8:45, we still hadn't heard anything, and it was really draining--there weren't that many people from the med school who were matching that day! Why was it taking SO long?! I didn't tell my DH, but I began to think he didn't match. NSG is a statistically harder match and the competition seemed really fierced. I figured that the dean put the non-matchers at the bottom of the pile and was contacting them last with the bad news. About 8:50, the phone rang and I picked it up. The dean asked to speak with my DH, but her voice was completely flat--you couldn't tell at all. So I passed the phone off to my DH, then stared at the living room carpet. I couldn't look at him, because I didn't want him to see me watch him get so disappointed. Anyhow, he listened without saying anything for about 20 seconds. Then he repeated the name of the program he'd matched into and gave me the thumbs up sign. Geez, was I relieved!

[SuzySunshine]

Re: How did you.....

My DH matched in neurosurgery (NSG), which is an early match (in January, not March). What was stressful was the fact that there is no notification ahead of the Match Day to those candidates who do not match and would have to try to scramble in. (With the general March Match, candidates who do not match are notified a couple of days ahead of Match Day and the scramble process begins). With NSG, you find out that you didn't match at the exact same time you would find out if you did match and where.

Basically, the results were faxed to the medical schools around 7:00 AM and the dean began calling the students around 8:00 AM. Neither of us really slept the night before. We were up around 4:00 AM. I called off work that morning and we just waited. We waited and waited and waited. By 8:45, we still hadn't heard anything, and it was really draining--there weren't that many people from the med school who were matching that day! Why was it taking SO long?! I didn't tell my DH, but I began to think he didn't match. NSG is a statistically harder match and the competition seemed really fierced. I figured that the dean put the non-matchers at the bottom of the pile and was contacting them last with the bad news. About 8:50, the phone rang and I picked it up. The dean asked to speak with my DH, but her voice was completely flat--you couldn't tell at all. So I passed the phone off to my DH, then stared at the living room carpet. I couldn't look at him, because I didn't want him to see me watch him get so disappointed. Anyhow, he listened without saying anything for about 20 seconds. Then he repeated the name of the program he'd matched into and gave me the thumbs up sign. Geez, was I relieved!

Yup, early match is an evil within itself (though it is earlier ) We actually got a call from the PD of the program he matched at and since we were CA and they were MN by the time we got our call most of the country already knew where they had matched. There is a NSG website where applicants had been posting their matches and when we got up all three spots at his 2nd choice were already full, I dreaded what that meant but luckily he got the call from his 1st choice about 9am PT.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: How did you.....

My DH matched in neurosurgery (NSG), which is an early match (in January, not March). What was stressful was the fact that there is no notification ahead of the Match Day to those candidates who do not match and would have to try to scramble in. (With the general March Match, candidates who do not match are notified a couple of days ahead of Match Day and the scramble process begins). With NSG, you find out that you didn't match at the exact same time you would find out if you did match and where.

Basically, the results were faxed to the medical schools around 7:00 AM and the dean began calling the students around 8:00 AM. Neither of us really slept the night before. We were up around 4:00 AM. I called off work that morning and we just waited. We waited and waited and waited. By 8:45, we still hadn't heard anything, and it was really draining--there weren't that many people from the med school who were matching that day! Why was it taking SO long?! I didn't tell my DH, but I began to think he didn't match. NSG is a statistically harder match and the competition seemed really fierced. I figured that the dean put the non-matchers at the bottom of the pile and was contacting them last with the bad news. About 8:50, the phone rang and I picked it up. The dean asked to speak with my DH, but her voice was completely flat--you couldn't tell at all. So I passed the phone off to my DH, then stared at the living room carpet. I couldn't look at him, because I didn't want him to see me watch him get so disappointed. Anyhow, he listened without saying anything for about 20 seconds. Then he repeated the name of the program he'd matched into and gave me the thumbs up sign. Geez, was I relieved!

Yup, early match is an evil within itself (though it is earlier ) We actually got a call from the PD of the program he matched at and since we were CA and they were MN by the time we got our call most of the country already knew where they had matched. There is a NSG website where applicants had been posting their matches and when we got up all three spots at his 2nd choice were already full, I dreaded what that meant but luckily he got the call from his 1st choice about 9am PT.

Yeah, watching the unofficial Match results get posted on http://www.nsmatch.com (now http://www.uncleharvey.com, I think) before we knew IF he matched would have freaked me out. It was bad enough watching that site in the days before the Match. A lot of the posters turned out to be total blowhards full of hot air!

[SuzySunshine]

Re: How did you.....

Yeah, watching the unofficial Match results get posted on http://www.nsmatch.com (now http://www.uncleharvey.com, I think) before we knew IF he matched would have freaked me out. It was bad enough watching that site in the days before the Match. A lot of the posters turned out to be total blowhards full of hot air!

Yep, that used to be a good, informative site but its definitely gone down hill lately IMO.