Significant Others Groups in Med School

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I was wondering how many of your current (or former) medical school experiences included formalized groups for partners of the students? This is quite common in business school but I'm not so sure for medical school. Despite the fact that I'm not actually there full time, it would be nice to meet other people in similar situations.

I've read a lot on this board that you all recommend developing your own hobbies and interests so your life doesn't simply revolve around the med school partner but that seems hard to do in a city where you know no one.

We had a spousal support network that was critical to my survival and sanity. I believe each school is different. I would ask your spouse to ask people about it, because sometimes it is just word of mouth. I made the best friends that I will ever have from that group. In residency, I really wish I still had that network of friends. Because these people were going through the same things that I was, they knew what support I needed, etc. We have three kids, so this was really helpful to me.

My husband was supportive in helping me get involved with this group. Alot of spouse's that I met during my 4th year of med school were saying, my husband never told me about this, etc. I would ask.

Hope this helps a little

UH (which is the hospital affiliated with CWRU) has a spousal support group for residents. Depending on who is in charge these days, they would probably be welcoming to a student spouse as well. It's called HOWA, and you can find out their contacts through the residency office.

My wife's medical school had one but it was kind of a joke. There was a picnic at the beginning of the year and then maybe a get together with the kids somewhere in the middle (which isn't really helpful if you don't have kids, which we didn't for three years of school). It was nice on paper, though.

Truthfully, I think branching out and establishing your own roots may be a necessity regardless. It takes time, but I'm sure it will happen. I made enough friends and found enough activities where my wife went to school (Omaha) that I am missing it tons, and we've been in our new land (Phoenix) for more than a year now. I guess I need to get back in gear, eh?

[DCJenn]

Hey Ros...you know there are quite a few people here based in PHX, right?

Jenn

Not to threadjack, but no I didn't, haven't done enough looking around yet, I guess.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: Significant Others Groups in Med School

I was wondering how many of your current (or former) medical school experiences included formalized groups for partners of the students?

My DH's med school in Texas had a good one. I found DS's nanny through the program (she was a SAHM with a daughter around DS's age). Have several good friends from the group. The only drawbacks were: (1) it was primarily wives (actually, there were no Hs, although they would have been quite welcome!); and (2) most of the wives were SAHs--the only problem there being many of the group activities were held during work hours. But the group was great --had book clubs, babysitting coops, etc.

[DCJenn]

There was a hospital "auxilary" attached to the Army hospital when we got here- everyone was either 1) retired or 2) a SAHM. No guys, no non-parents.

and that's when I found this place and it became my virtual spouses group. and really, probably infinitely more entertaining AND I can hang out in my jammies and drink a beer...

Jenn

[Deebs]

There wasn't one in IL where DH went to med school. Most of the students were single, but DH was really good about inviting anyone with SO's over for dinner, drinks, etc. At the time, we weren't married, and I was making relatively big bucks compared to anyone else in his class, so they were all thrilled to come for free food and drink while I was happy to meet new people. I also really went out of my comfort zone and would call people's SOs when I knew they were on really tough rotations and would be gone a lot. It made for easy shopping, dinner, etc plans.

[diggitydot]

DH's school has a formal "Family Club" that is open to all classes and they get together at least once a month for a potluck type dinner. We've done that a time or two, but DH's class is super close so we all get together and hang out outside of this club, anyway.

We have BBQ's at the school and those of us with kids bring 'em and those without kids remember why they don't have any. Some of the spouses are at-home, some are working. Some are a little Stepford-esque and some are deliciously snarky. But we all have a good time together and everyone really seems to get along well. They're a very nice group of people who pull together to help each other out whenever necessary. I think that's part of the reason why our experiences during DH's med school have been extremely positive.

[poky]

UH (which is the hospital affiliated with CWRU) has a spousal support group for residents. Depending on who is in charge these days, they would probably be welcoming to a student spouse as well. It's called HOWA, and you can find out their contacts through the residency office.

Hmm...they probably wouldn't stretch far enough to welcome a CCLCM student spouse, huh? Elisabeth, if you do look them up and they're open to student spouses, let me know! Apparently DH is *technically* a CWRU student....

I didn't participate in the spouse group when DH was in Med school, because it was really for mothers. Pretty much all the activities were playgroups, so it was really more for the kids than the adults.

Instead, I made friends with the female members of DH's class. This worked out well, because most had time, were not married, and didn't have kids. I found a good tennis partner in DH's anatomy lab mate. Maybe ask DH about his female classmates- I found it to be a good source of companionship.

[SuzySunshine]

DH's med school had one but it wasn't very organized and I think in five years we probably had five activities. The spousal group here is fabulous, lots of different groups, get togethers, etc.

[peggyfromwastate]

My husband went to USUHS and they had a good support group for spouses/significant others. There were mostly activities for the people with kids. For MS-1 it was really not a very developed group, not many activities, then for MS-2 it was good, new president, etc., and then for MS-3 and MS-4 I was just really busy with other stuff and so I didn't go to many events.

If they already have one in place, you could get involved in the leadership of it and probably make it as vibrant as possible, though. My DHs group did lots of "adult activities" such as Bunko, dinner out, drinks at bars, etc.

[Vishenka69]

DH's didn't have one because most of the students were single and only a few people in his class were in any sort of relationships. But I guess married folks with kids don't come to NYC for med school.