Available at 
Tweet
Hi guys,
well, we moved in on Tues. And by we, I mean me, my mom and my soon-to-be mom-in-law. Fiance was at work...he is on peds surgery this month, and is NEVER home, and when he is, he is falling asleep. So, it sucked that he wasn't there, but I know that this is par for the course for the rest of our lives. So I have to get used to it. But I guess what bugs me more is that he feels so bad about it that it robs me of the chance to be angry. He does this all the time, I can't even be upset because he self-flagelates to such an extent that if I express frustration he lashes back defensively sometimes, or worse, just sits there and mopes. It drives me bonkers.
We have all these boxes, and most of everything was his crap. I was all alone packing for days, and I could easily have packed what is mine in a couple hours, but he has so much crap that honestly it fills the 4 bedroom house that we just bought...imagine what it looked like in the 2-bed apt. So I had assumed that we would unpack together, but it is becoming more and more obvious that he has no time, or when he is home, he is too tired to do much. He usually is good for about an hour or two, and then falls asleep.
We don't have much time together, and when we do, he is online surfing the net or playing video games, which is his way of decompressing. We chat, but don't have quality time together. I know this is the worst month, but I hope this won't always be this way. I need more help now because of the move, but we chose the worst month to do it in. Someone, please tell me that it gets better. I just need to hear it right now. I keep vasillating between indignation and anger, that I had to do all this. Any tips on how to look at this so that I don't start to resent the man? I love him desperately, but hate that needing him to help with the move makes me feel like a needy woman with unfulfilled demands. I am really very independent and not clingy in the slightest, so this is really getting to me today. Any thoughts?
Eileen
well, we moved in on Tues. And by we, I mean me, my mom and my soon-to-be mom-in-law. Fiance was at work...he is on peds surgery this month, and is NEVER home, and when he is, he is falling asleep. So, it sucked that he wasn't there, but I know that this is par for the course for the rest of our lives. So I have to get used to it. But I guess what bugs me more is that he feels so bad about it that it robs me of the chance to be angry. He does this all the time, I can't even be upset because he self-flagelates to such an extent that if I express frustration he lashes back defensively sometimes, or worse, just sits there and mopes. It drives me bonkers.
We have all these boxes, and most of everything was his crap. I was all alone packing for days, and I could easily have packed what is mine in a couple hours, but he has so much crap that honestly it fills the 4 bedroom house that we just bought...imagine what it looked like in the 2-bed apt. So I had assumed that we would unpack together, but it is becoming more and more obvious that he has no time, or when he is home, he is too tired to do much. He usually is good for about an hour or two, and then falls asleep.
We don't have much time together, and when we do, he is online surfing the net or playing video games, which is his way of decompressing. We chat, but don't have quality time together. I know this is the worst month, but I hope this won't always be this way. I need more help now because of the move, but we chose the worst month to do it in. Someone, please tell me that it gets better. I just need to hear it right now. I keep vasillating between indignation and anger, that I had to do all this. Any tips on how to look at this so that I don't start to resent the man? I love him desperately, but hate that needing him to help with the move makes me feel like a needy woman with unfulfilled demands. I am really very independent and not clingy in the slightest, so this is really getting to me today. Any thoughts?
Eileen
when I get forewarned.
If you heard it from other sources that's a good sign. We definitely had one known painful month, but for perspective it was waaay ugly. So if you can do the move and have just a couple of down moments during the 'worst' month then your dh is probably at a program that will be quite doable. 
And he responded well to the cracking of the whip. He said he has been trying to carry his own weight at work too, and will try to up the ante at home as well. When he heard me say the word "resentment", he got really worried and started to unpack like crazy. He got about 6 boxes done last night, along with fixing stuff and putting other stuff together. I feel MUCH better. 
Comment