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Need to vent for a second!

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  • Need to vent for a second!

    DH's program just "moved," and he was supposed to get a raise in July. Because of this "move," our insurance went up and his driving times more than doubled because the number of outlying clinics increased. We got his paycheck, and even though he got a "raise" he is making $200 less per month! I told him I am about ready to stage a strike in front of the GME office with the kids in tow. I just wish I was still nursing, so I could combine my strike with a nurse-in!

    Can I/we do anything about this, or are we just stuck? Please don't give me the "look at the big picture" speech. I am thoroughly intrenched in the little picture right now, and I don't honestly believe the big picture even exists anymore.

  • #2
    It definitely blows, no two ways about it. Can you up your tax exemptions so that less is taken out for taxes? Can you do anything to reduce the insurance, like opt of of vision or dental? Is he paying out for life insurance, disability insurance?

    I'm sorry. $200 a month would cripple us. It is no small thing. I hope someone has some good insight or advice for you.
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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    • #3
      No advice, but lots of empathy.
      Luanne
      wife, mother, nurse practitioner

      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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      • #4
        Sorry for your frustration. I honestly don't know what you could do about it. In DH's training programs, if he got a 200/month raise that equates to $2400 per year which sounds about right. It definitely isn't fair. This year as an attending DH got a 4% raise which doesn't add up to much, but is pretty much the norm. Insurance also went up every year.

        I wish I had some advice.
        Needs

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Vanquisher
          It definitely blows, no two ways about it. Can you up your tax exemptions so that less is taken out for taxes? Can you do anything to reduce the insurance, like opt of of vision or dental? Is he paying out for life insurance, disability insurance?

          I'm sorry. $200 a month would cripple us. It is no small thing. I hope someone has some good insight or advice for you.
          He takes the max exemptions as it is. We are now paying 4x--repeat 4x-more for health insurance over what we were paying last year, and it is crappy insurance. I told him to take me off and we would wing it for a year or so, but the program will not allow him to make any changes. Honestly, I don't think they have any idea what they are doing.

          I just got a call back from a mortgage company. I sent my resume in about 2 months ago, and I never expected a call back. I just don't know what to do. I have a child on the verge of being diagnosed with autism, and he is going to be going through lots of testing this fall, so I'm not sure how I can go back to work. Then again, I don't see us making it if I don't. This just sucks!

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          • #6
            If you get a job that provides or allows you to pay into insurance his program will have to let him change the insurance, its called a life change and all insurance companies have to allow it regardless of when it happens in the plan year. I know that's probably not the answer you were looking for but it would be an option.

            The only other thing I can think of is putting a call into HR at his program yourself and talking to someone and making sure you're not missing something.

            :huh:
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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            • #7
              :grouphug: No suggestions, just understanding to offer.

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              • #8
                Thanks. I hate having to put on my big girl panties and think like a rational adult. It's all DH's fault! (tantrum)

                On the bright side, it is feasible to think that we could double our income this way which will make a world of difference...

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                • #9
                  I'd definitely look into the mortgage job. I used to work in that field and the hours were really flexible and the money was good.

                  Good luck!

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                  • #10
                    That sucks rocks! I wish I had some advice but I don't. I'm desperately trying to figure a way to stay home but am having no luck (I refuse to pull my girls from their Catholic school and dance lessons). I'm not very good at budgets and such (but I am a bargain shopper).
                    Veronica
                    Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                    • #11
                      you won't often get a "look at the big picture" lecture from us. I have no suggestions, but lots of sympathy. It's amazing how the "raises" work out.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by ProjectMom
                        Originally posted by Vanquisher
                        It definitely blows, no two ways about it. Can you up your tax exemptions so that less is taken out for taxes? Can you do anything to reduce the insurance, like opt of of vision or dental? Is he paying out for life insurance, disability insurance?

                        I'm sorry. $200 a month would cripple us. It is no small thing. I hope someone has some good insight or advice for you.
                        He takes the max exemptions as it is. We are now paying 4x--repeat 4x-more for health insurance over what we were paying last year, and it is crappy insurance. I told him to take me off and we would wing it for a year or so, but the program will not allow him to make any changes. Honestly, I don't think they have any idea what they are doing.

                        I just got a call back from a mortgage company. I sent my resume in about 2 months ago, and I never expected a call back. I just don't know what to do. I have a child on the verge of being diagnosed with autism, and he is going to be going through lots of testing this fall, so I'm not sure how I can go back to work. Then again, I don't see us making it if I don't. This just sucks!
                        Your quadrupled health insurance costs SUCK!! I am so sorry. I would be upset, too. Re: going back to work--are you guys taking out living expense loans now? If not, you may want to consider that over returning to work. I mean, accummulating debt sucks, but if your kiddo is diagnosed as autistic and needs highly specialized care, sounds like that's the option for funding. I am so sorry.

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                        • #13
                          He takes the max exemptions as it is. We are now paying 4x--repeat 4x-more for health insurance over what we were paying last year, and it is crappy insurance. I told him to take me off and we would wing it for a year or so, but the program will not allow him to make any changes. Honestly, I don't think they have any idea what they are doing.

                          I just got a call back from a mortgage company. I sent my resume in about 2 months ago, and I never expected a call back. I just don't know what to do. I have a child on the verge of being diagnosed with autism, and he is going to be going through lots of testing this fall, so I'm not sure how I can go back to work. Then again, I don't see us making it if I don't. This just sucks!
                          That is hard, really really hard. Your son's testing, do you have a good idea of how much testing he is to get, and what therapy options they may give you. You might want to hit this hard and find out what exactly you will have to do, because taking all this time off of work may not go over well. If you have a good idea of what is to come, and what therapy could be recommended, then you could bring this information to the table with your possible employer. Having a child with a LD is very taxing, especially in the beginning when you are trying to find out what road to take to help them out. This compiled with being there for your 5 & 6 yr old kiddos if they get sick or have a day off school is so much. Is there any way you can get some counceling maybe through Social Services to see if they can help guide you through this? DCJenn - have any thoughts here? Can you get this job pt? It does not sound pt if you are to double your current income. You have some of the hardest stresses for a marriage, a LD child, financial hardship, and residency. Seriously I would highly consider come kind of counceling to help you guys make a plan. Maybe waiting until the new year for a job might be emotionally easier, although taxing financially. But getting those testing days to mess with your schedule in a way where the tests are done on time, and in the time mannor you need, not to mention further recommencations for other consults - well narry a person can get this done in a nice neat way. I'm not trying to be a downer, but realistic. Also does your insurance pay well for possible therapies he needs or may need? As far as preschools/daycares go there are some that have Special Educators on staff along with Speach Therapists, if you haven't looked into that yet.


                          A couple of links that if you dig you might find info. You may find particular programs for family support for your state:

                          http://www.autismspeaks.org

                          http://www.judevine.org/index.html

                          http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/autism-aid.html

                          Also I would look up local programs for autism in yours state, call them, and see if they have counceling programs they would recommend for your situation. Success for a family IS possible with such obsticals, getting as much help is key IMO.

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                          • #14
                            This is a really tough situation for you! I hope that your son's LD is sorted out. And this job stuff? Ugh. I don't know what I'd do, except for go crazy weighing it all out.

                            Are there good autism programs around you? In WA state if your child is diagnosed with a LD you can go to the "special ed" preschool from as young as 2. My sister has done this with both of her kiddos. She doesn't *quite* qualify for head start with the income limitations there. Anyway, that may not help with the job situation, but it may help get some treatments/therapies for your son if needed.
                            Peggy

                            Aloha from paradise! And the other side of training!

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Luanne123
                              No advice, but lots of empathy.

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