my mom moved in . . .

Okay, my mom moved in a little over a month ago. People would think this is good, and yes, it can be . . . my DH is in med school, etc. etc. so she can help out. But they don't understand the situation. Does anyone else out there have a parent who has moved in with them due to health issues? I feel like I'm in this season of life way too early.

[GrayMatterWife]

Re: my mom moved in . . .

Okay, my mom moved in a little over a month ago. People would think this is good, and yes, it can be . . . my DH is in med school, etc. etc. so she can help out. But they don't understand the situation. Does anyone else out there have a parent who has moved in with them due to health issues? I feel like I'm in this season of life way too early.

OK, this isn't at all comparable in degree or duration to what you're going through, but my dad moved in with us a few years back for a while. He'd lost his job of 25 years, and was having a horrible time job-hunting. He became depressed and was putting a huge strain on his marriage to my mom. I invited him to move in with us (1300 mile away from my mom, and in an area of the country they preferred) under the auspices of job-hunting. But I was really trying to get him get a handle on his situation, and give my mom a desperately needed break.

Very, very hard. I can only imagine the weight you carry. Hang in there. Sending positive thoughts your way!!

This is how I would look if my mom moved in with us: :thud:

I'm sorry! I hope she is able to help you out and at least provide you with lots of company as your DH gets through med school. Post here whenever you need to!

[Meenah]

All I can say is bless you.

Re: my mom moved in . . .

Does anyone else out there have a parent who has moved in with them due to health issues? I feel like I'm in this season of life way too early.

My mom never moved in with me, but I had to deal with the serious health issues of a parent way too early. I was 23 when she had a stroke and was in the hospital for 4 months before dying. During the timeframe where she was getting better, I was planning /expecting that she'd live with me and I'd take care of her. So no, I haven't experienced exactly what you're talking about, but I can definitely identify with being in 'this season of life way too early.' (well put, BTW).

best of luck.

[MDPhDWife]

All I can say is . You're a better person than I am!

My MIL doesn't live with us but we had to move her near us to a nursing-home type of setting. Difficult would be a understatement. I can't imagine if she lived with us -- I wouldn't be able to take care of my kids.

It is sort of odd that my parents are having the same issues with their parents as we are with her. Jenn is right on in saying this is too early for this season of life. My parents are better equipped to help their parents partly because they don't have young kids to care for. Welcome to the sandwich generation.

[diggitydot]

My MIL moved in with us a couple years ago. It lasted all of 10 days before she left in a huff. (She's a major drama queen, DH and I aren't and don't put up with or feed into histrionics.)

You have my full sympathy. Sending you lots of good joo-joo vibes for patience and compassion.


:therethere:

All I can say is bless you.

:nod:

[peggyfromwastate]

All I can say is bless you.

ditto. I can take visits for up to a month, but beyond that we'd have to set up separate "kitchen" times and "laundry" times.

[Mrs. McPads]

My mother refused to let her mother move in with her, and instead put her in a very expensive retirement home, which was nicer than any other place I was ever in, and I worked with senior housing and nursing homes for years.

My grandmother died last year, and mother then told me that she would never move in with me. She wanted to keep a good relationship with me, she said. I guess I should count myself lucky that she knows boundaries on this.

Good luck, and I hope you find a good balance and way to live with her.

Eileen

thanks!

Thanks so much for all your ehugs, good vibes, and happy thoughts. This week Mom and I are finally feeling somewhat settled in . . . actually enjoying having each other around sometimes, I think! Not bad after two months . . .

You know, this whole life thing just doesn't go as we script it sometimes . . . but maybe the real script will be better than our versions, someday, way down the road, when we are old ourselves and look back. In the meantime I pray for patience and a clean conscience.

My thoughts are with you who have already lost parents, like Genivieve. That is so hard. I lost my dad when I was 9; so I guess I'm more protective of my mom than otherwise, since we're all she's got, other than my younger brother (single and much less established).

Re: thanks!

You know, this whole life thing just doesn't go as we script it sometimes . . . but maybe the real script will be better than our versions, someday, way down the road, when we are old ourselves and look back. In the meantime I pray for patience and a clean conscience.

Ain't that the truth! But (and I know this will sound awful to some), I'm okay with the fact that my mom is gone. She did her job (and did it well, I might add). And I know that if my mom hadn't died, I wouldn't have gotten back together with dh, and I would not have my children. As much as I miss my mom sometimes, I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world. And she'd be okay with that.

She's here anyway ...