yikes!

My SO just told me today that he figured out last night that he spent $360 last month on us eating out.

It sounds like a lot- averages out to $12 per day, but I still think we need to develop better habits.

So I want to cut down on that, go grocery shopping and start cooking together, but some days it's just easier to go out, especially 1) since we don't live together, 2) some days we only see each other for 2 hours (at the gym!) and then we grab a bite to eat, 3) on the weekends he doesnt want to do extra work and we love to go out to restaurants.

And maybe we're doing it the wrong way, but sometimes it seems cheaper to go out, to Panera or something, because after we buy all the ingredients for a meal, it makes it more expensive than had we gone out.

I don't know, I'm new at this Maybe I should start meal planning (uh oh!) and finding cheap and easy meals... but I'm a terrible cook (I always screw it up one way or another), he's very particular about what he eats (health nut), and we don't live together, so it's not like I can just make something while he's working.

Any ideas?

[rockgirl]

Enjoy going out while you can... before kids!

Is $360.00/month a big dent in his budget? Do you also contribute to the dining out portion of the budget? Why is he telling you how much was spent? Does he want you to cook for him or the two of you cook together?

Sorry for all the questions but I think you need to find out what he is thinking. $360.00/month comes out to around $4300/year which is not that much for food if you dh isn't spending too much on groceries. Since you don't live together I think cooking a meal every night for him would be excessive (I'd need a ring for that who am I kidding, I don't cook every night and we've been married for 15 years. ). Sit down with your bf and discuss the budget and make a realistic plan for your spending.

And when you get married he needs to eat WHATEVER you cook. Children can be picky, NOT husbands.

1) I'm not sure if $360 is a big dent in his budget... it just sounded like a lot :huh:

2) I sometimes contribute to the eating out; I would say he pays 60% of the time.

3) We've talked about budgeting before because we do seem to eat out a lot, but have never put anything into numbers. So he finally did last night, and I guess he had to share!

4) He doesn't want me to cook for him (I'd burn down the kitchen plus I don't have access to his condo when he's not home), but he does want to cook together. We do occassionally but because he never buys groceries, if we do decide to cook together we have to find a recipe we both agree on, go out and buy the ingredients, come home and prepare it. Last thing he wants to do after work.

I really don't know how much people spend on groceries per month, I'm so clueless. So if it's really not a lot, maybe we don't have anything to worry about. :huh:

In a few years however, a lot will change, and I really do need to figure out how I'm going to be able to feed my family with yummy balanced meals. I can barely feed myself. I have a lot to learn

We do occassionally but because he never buys groceries, if we do decide to cook together we have to find a recipe we both agree on, go out and buy the ingredients, come home and prepare it. Last thing he wants to do after work.

that's why it's more expensive than stopping at Panera. If you're working from a pantry / stocked freezer rather than buying ingredients to suit each meal, it ends up being a lot less expensive in the end.

I know you don't live together, but if you were to decide to start eating in on occasion, would access to his condo be a huge deal?

[Stella]

That sounds like a lot to me. I don't spend $360 on groceries and eating out combined and if my SO ever spent that much money on us eating out he'd probably have a heart attack. Sooooo, we eat in together a lot and we don't live together and I don't have access to his place anymore when he's not home.

He just came by for lunch and we made tacos. I supplied the meat and lettuce and he supplied to tortillas, tomato, and sour cream. It was cheap for both of us and we have leftovers.

You just need to find things that will have multiple uses so that instead of buying everything for each meal, you only have to supplement an ingredient or two. Try to build a good "stock" fridge and work from that. It'll still work with a health nut. Just find some general produce (romaine, peppers, tomatoes, raisins, berries, nuts) that will work in multiple recipes (salads, pastas, sandwiches, parfaits.) It'll probably take some trial and error but you should be able to figure something out that will save you some money.

[poky]

My immdiate thoughts:

- If *he* spent $360 and that's approx. 60% of the meals out, that's...a lot of meals out, to me. And I assume that's at most one meal a day, on top of whatever you both spend on breakfast and/or lunch? Or is he including his cafeteria lunches in there?

- Is there some reason he can't come over to your place to eat if you can't get into his condo to cook?

- Planning meals by the week, doing the shopping ahead, and always having nonperishable and/or frozen staples on hand will all decrease the amount of money spent significantly. As you stock up and learn to cook by making mistakes, it might not go down much, but eventually it will.

- DH and I typically average about $500 per month total on all groceries and meals out for the two of us. It might be less now that we don't eat out much - he's so busy and I'm home all day anyway and we're both in the mindset of being on a tighter budget. We go out to eat maybe once every couple weeks. We don't do a whole lot of "cooking", either, though - a typical meal will be a pasta with sauce and breaded chicken and salad - dead easy (boil pasta, heat sauce, bake chicken in toaster oven, throw together lettuce, croutons, bacon bits, parmesan, and dressing). Trader Joe's is *great* for easy decent meals (their gnocchi in gorgonzola sauce is to *die* for, and takes 10 minutes and one skillet). There is a middle ground between "eating out every night" and "spending hours making everything from scratch every day" - unfortunately, it takes almost as much planning as making things from scratch does, and you have to get used to knowing ahead of time what you're going to eat, rather than deciding right then what you're hungry for right then. Not that we're great at this; we waste time deciding what sounds good of the things we have all the makings for most evenings. :P

We usually do our own thing mon-fri for breakfast and lunch, then probably go out to eat almost every night, but during the week it's usually Panera, Portillos, or something relatively inexpensive (meaning for both of us to eat will cost from $15-$20).

On Friday nights we might go to dinner, but it depends what time I get to his place or whether he's on call. If he's not working and I get there late, he'll grab a salad at McD's, if earlier, we'll try a new restaurant. Saturdays, depends if I work or not but we'll get dinner out at a restaurant. Sundays, we get brunch after church and dinner out. So we eat out a lot...but we don't go to super nice expensive restaurants. The most we'll spend is maybe $50 on a meal once a week.

But still, we made blackened salmon the other day (very smoky, but very delicious!) and we spent about $25 for ingredients. We had our own wine, salad, salmon. We figured if we got that meal at a restaurant we would've spent around $50 so that was saving money!

Jenn- it wouldn't be a huge deal if I got his key, I don't think. But like another poster said, I think I'll wait to have a ring on my finger before I start driving over to prepare a hot meal for my man to come home to.

Thanks for the suggestions... I'll have to talk to my SO about this tonight.

[peggyfromwastate]

I'm still stuck on the part where he's a surgical intern and you're eating together almost every day! Good for you guys! Don't sweat the $- it's really not much!

(DH and I cooking together would *almost* be as disastrous as it was when we were lab partners- for like 1 week before I ditched him and found someone who read the pre-lab. )

I'm still stuck on the part where he's a surgical intern and you're eating together almost every day! Good for you guys! Don't sweat the $- it's really not much!

(DH and I cooking together would *almost* be as disastrous as it was when we were lab partners- for like 1 week before I ditched him and found someone who read the pre-lab. )

Haha aww. I do get to see him almost every day, except when he's on call obviously. I'm grateful, I don't take it for granted.

That's funny about the lab

that's why it's more expensive than stopping at Panera. If you're working from a pantry / stocked freezer rather than buying ingredients to suit each meal, it ends up being a lot less expensive in the end.

Agreed. Also, emphasis on "it ends up being A LOT cheaper". If he's spending $360/month on food but that's only for 60% of your meals together (how much did he spend dining alone/with friends?) and you're still chipping in about 40% on top of that $360/month that is a LOT A LOT A LOT of money. Not to mention how unhealthy it ends up being.

My SO is diabetic, so he is extremely conscious about what he eats. He will never eat anything fried, fatty, processed or sugared. (Me on the other hand...oh boy!...)

We tried to make breaded chicken the other day, and he used wheat germ instead of italian bread crumbs so way to go SO, our chicken tasted like soggy cardboard. Only occasionally will he have some icecream. So when we do go out to eat, hands down he always orders a salad with no cheese or dressing.

In fact, 75% of the time we're out, the server brings SO's salad to me and brings my steak/porkchops/mashedpotatoes to SO. I say, no way! Give me my meat!

I do think we can save some money though. It's pretty crazy to drop like $30-$50 on one meal. That could buy a lot of groceries.... or in SO's case, a whole lot of low-fat cottage cheese, whole wheat fiber enriched bread, all natural omega-3 enriched peanut butter, unsalted nuts, turkey, and sprouts.

I'll talk to him about it. We'll evaluate our spending habits a little more closely.

[Vishenka69]

Spending $360 a month on going out is very relative on where you live and where you eat. To me $600 on food a month is not that much (since you don't buy groceries, I'm assuming that amount covers most of the food the two of you eat). We probably spend close to that and I cook almost every night. Healthy food also costs more, so buying groceries may not decrease your bill that much.

BTW what about your living situation? You said you don't have access to his condo but I assume you live in an apartment or something w/ a kitchen?

Yes, I have a kitchen... and actually I cooked today and brought my SO some of the dinner I made! He ate it out of tupper-ware in his car after the gym. But we saved money!

And Vishenka, that's a good point. It's relative to where you eat and what you buy.

And I will look into Sam's Club! All it takes is a little planning. I suggested that we stock up the kitchen, and he said since we don't cook a lot, the food that we buy might go to waste. But I say, if we buy groceries we might be forced to cook more! The problem is that we live about 30 min apart, and some days that he works later, we meet in the middle at the gym then grab a bite to eat and head our separate ways. There's not enough time to go back to his or my place too prepare a meal. Hmm.

I asked SO to clarify and $360 was just food for me and him and the few times we went grocery shopping (just to pick up our essentials for our meal). He didn't count what he spends per day at the hospital, which is estimated to be about $20 per day. I think that's a lot too! Maybe he should start packing a lunch?

Do your SOs buy their food at the hospital, or bring their own?

[DCJenn]

I usually make enough dinner to provide lunches the following day for at least one of us.

I'd say he brings his lunch 4/5 days and he usually goes out w/ friends on Fridays.

Jenn

He didn't count what he spends per day at the hospital, which is estimated to be about $20 per day.

$20 / day on hospital food? Just for lunch for one person? That's a crazy amount of money.

Yay for salads!

Preparing your own salad greens (buying the head, washing, tearing, putting in a salad spinner) tastes so much better than most restaurants. You can take out the core if you want, take out the wilted/brown pieces, and it will all be perfectly crisp. It's something you can do ahead when you have the time, then just pull it out to eat.

It's fun to put the cold salad toppings into a plastic compartmental container with a lid, so that you can pull it out of the fridge as one dish, already prepared. (Tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, broccoli, cut up grilled chicken, etc.) Serve a roll/bread on the side.

Throw the ingredients into an plastic container for the next day's lunch. This would have to save a ton of money.

You can vary the salad themes: chef salad, taco salad, oriental, or whatever.

But meat and potatoes are good, too! (grilled meat, baked potato, steamed broccoli with lemon squeezed on top)